When a fighter leaves...

She is the epitome of hope, life and strength.  But now the flower has wilted and has returned to her Creator, Ar-Rahman Ar-Raheem.  Sis Dalilah Tamrin of http://onebreastbouncing.blogspot.com has fought her last battle and is now laid to rest.  Innalillahi wainna ilaihi rojiun...

I marvel at the fight that she put up with.  Her will to live is awed at and her outlook in life was simply marvelous.  A glance at her does not reveal that she's a cancer patient but she fought it so long; from breast cancer to metastatic cancer.  The smile she flashes were genuine and soothing.  The words she shared were  more than words of wisdom; they were words from a true survivor. 

Only the chosen one is tested with such pain, as it is believed that pain is a sign of forgiveness.  It is only through pain that we humans are reminded of our borrowed time on earth and of the more meaningful life of the hereafter...

When I started blogging in 2006, I stumbled into her somewhere in the blogosphere.  But I didn't make much of it.  Later, our paths crossed again when my late husband fell sick.  Apparently, she had known him before.  From then on, I followed her blog very closely and became good friends with her.

 

I had only met her three times during my short vacation home in 2008.  I remember meeting her for the first time at Amcorp Mall on a Sunday morning.  Warm and friendly, I instantly felt like I had known her forever.  The next meetings were unfortunately scheduled at hospitals.  I can't recall which one was first, but I visited her at HKL once and I once fetched her from her office to bring her to meet my sister in HUKM.  After I returned to the UK, we kept in contact through our blogs, text messages and also mail.  She never forgot my birthdays.  When she sent me a copy of her book, Kanser Payudaraku, I kept the book close to me even after I finished reading it.  It was as if I could feel her energy every time I touched the book.  Strange but true. Cancer connected us.

Life is short.  Dalilah has lived her life to the fullest, despite all the pain.  She met so many people and touched so many hearts.   My heart goes out to her family who has stayed close by her side.  They must be so proud of her though...  

May Allah bless her soul and place her in jannah. Al-fatihah.

Farewell...

As much as it hurts the already throbbing hearts, it is time for the five of us to bid adieu.

With much reluctance and sadness, we all said our goodbyes to dear Hammy, the adorable hamster that became our friend during the days of loneliness after the demise of our dearest.

I had never published the post I wrote about the arrival of our new family members (the hamsters) as it was a rather sad episode. I did not want to attract more than the unnecessary attention we were receiving and allowed the children a little bit more privacy.

It all started with the request from Abang Z. Being typically children, mine love animals and long to have every single creature on earth as a pet(the last request from Little D was a bearded dragon!). Their late father used to give in to their requests for he too was very passionate with animals. While I squealed or warned them that I never wanted to be a part of the responsibility to care for the animals (i.e. cleaning their cages!), my late husband took care of them all as promised. Through the span of approximately 7 years, we had had a collection of rabbits, birds, tarantulas, hamsters, white mice (yes, euuuuww!!), fish, chickens, ducks and terrapins. Goodness knows what else I may have forgotten to list down here.

Getting back to the matter at hand, after the departure of my husband in October 2007, the children began to ask for pets.

Mama, I need a friend...I need a pet. Abang Z opened up one day (notice the use of the word "need"!)

But darling, you have the four of us already! Don't you think that we're enough company for you? Am I not your friend?

No, you're my MOTHER! You're not my friend. I need a friend... H is my brother and the others are my siblings. It's not the same. I need a friend!

And the whining began. I admit that his reasons did make me choke a little. We were going through a difficult time of bereavement and healing that I somehow felt that it was my duty to lift my boy's spirits up.

We went to the pet shop down the road and agreed to purchase a suitable pet or two for the children. In this case, it was for each of the older boys and they were using their own money received from family and friends. The shop assistant suggested the Syrian hamsters although the children had their eyes on the Dwarf hamsters. The Syrian hamsters were bigger than the Dwarf Hamsters, but were less sociable. This simply meant that if you purchased the Dwarf hamsters, you could place both of them in the same cage, as opposed to the Syrian Hamsters who would fight with one another. However, the Dwarf hamsters are mighty fast, deeming it unsuitable for children as they might disappear from your hands before you know it.

We thus settled for the Syrian hamsters - one for Abang Z and another for Abang H, complete with two sets of cages. They were both males and extremely cute. The boys were very vigilant looking after the two but surely, it wasn't for long... Soon they were tipping each other to do their chores!

When we went back home for a short holiday in 2008, we left each of them with different friends. White stayed with a loving family up north while Hammy lived with some close friends in the city. Upon our return, I thought it was a hassle to drive up to collect White. After a little convincing, Abang H decided that he was ready to give White away. Unfortunately, White passed on approximately a year ago - most probably due to suffocation or heart attack by a group of wild children who attacked it in sheer fondness the night before. And thus, we were left with Hammy. Our dear, dear Hammy.

For the past few weeks, I had noticed that Hammy wasn't his old self. He no longer hid in his green plastic cubicle of a house and was somewhat 'different'. His sheltered house became his 'toilet' and he preferred to sleep on a stack of wood-shavings where we could see him. I had warned the children that the time was nearing and everyone was well aware of the fact that the life expectancy of a hamster is only about 2 -3 years.

Is he dead?

After two years, it was time for Hammy to leave us. Farewell little rodent!

Dandelions

Many objects are often associated with certain elements in our life. For some people, they become symbols of power, wealth and ranking.

For me, the dandelion is a very significant flower that draws on many special memories with those close at heart. The pictures above were snapped at the Walsgrave Cemetery with my Sony Cybershot more than a month ago.

Many months ago, a dear friend who's majoring in alternative medicine recommended dandelion tea as a form of detoxification as it reduces inflammation. It is highly diuretic and particularly good for women. When another friend enquired whether this particular flower was the weed in our backyards just like the one in this picture, another friend joked, "That's dande-lalang lah!"

The dandelion flower, in actual fact, looks more like a Chrysanthemum, with yellow petals all over. The picture below, taken by Mamasarah back in Spring 2007, shows my second twin throwing a bunch of dandelions up in the air.

Once it has finished flowering, it will turn into seeds; the whole head closes up, and the next time it opens up, the yellow petals change into white fluffy strands which carry hundreds of seeds. It is great fun plucking the dandelion in this form and blowing them in a puff.

To me, the dandelion represents life: Whole, but vulnerable to outside factors. One blow will be enough to set each seed-bearing parachute free. One minute you're all intact, and the other, you're afloating in the air alone!

(Picture of older twin taken by Mamasarah in 2007)

No news

They say no news means good news. Let's just pray that's the case here.

Like the animals who hibernate during winter, this blog will probably do the same.

Just in case I hibernate too long, here's wishing friends (my best friends included - you know who you are!), relatives and acquaintances who are performing their Hajj this year a great and successful pilgrimage. May the journey be the beginning of a better tomorrow, and the return be a fresh start altogether.

Three times lucky

For each day in the past three, I have been blessed with good news. However, I'd like to keep my first news private (only close ones know) - which came in the form of a phonecall on Wednesday afternoon. Number 2 and 3 are as below.

Number 2 (day 2)

Two years ago, I had fun preparing English tea to welcome a new friendship with mamasarah. Two days ago, I had the pleasure of hosting a coffee session with the ladies in our area. You see, out of the nine of us who made it on Thursday, 6 are students, 1 working and 2 housewives who have come to accompany their spouses. As most of us studying here are full-time students/wives (minus moi)/mothers, we hardly have enough time for ourselves. Hence we decided to organise some ladies' time-out by going out for coffee when the kids are in school. ;)

We had our first two sessions in cafes around Coventry and just spent some time releasing stress. This time around, our chief organisor suggested we have coffee at my place since some of them had not been to my place yet. I accepted the offer with open arms. I've not had time to organise a proper house-warming session even though many have unofficially warmed it over breakfast, tea and dinner. Having the ladies around was very apt and timely indeed.

Since it was mid-morning snack time, I decided to prepare what we'd get in the shops if we had gone out - scones with strawberries and clotted cream, chocolate brownies, cheese tartlets and chicken pies. I then thought hard. The timing would very well drag on to lunch so I might probably need to prepare something slightly more filling although I knew some of the ladies would be bringing some food. I opted for something a little spicy: mee kari.

So there we were, nibbling on the platters of food (we also had cheesecake, nasi lemak, spaghetti goreng, pau, date halwa and caramel pudding) while sharing some stories of the past and present. Some of us didn't know each other so well as we barely had the time to just do what we were doing without children interrupting!

To round it all up, by the end of the day I felt blessed to have friends who made good company.

Number 3 (day 3)

When I came home from university in the afternoon, I was surprised with a parcel - awaiting for me in front of the door. Ooooh... Malaysia mari! The handwriting was like my sister's but as I flipped it over, I saw that it was actually from my dear friend, Aida. I know she had texted me on my birthday, asking for my address. I had thought that she was going to send a birthday card through the post. Of course I had no idea at all that she would be sending me that special gift.

It was special indeed as it was an Ariani tudung (scarf) for me and a few other tudungs for little Princess! Okay, okay... so I admit I didn't know what an Ariani tudung was a month ago until Aida told us (the KK girls) about it. She had just been blessed and decided to don the tudung. It was really a pleasant surprise to us all. Aida has been showered with rahmah and hidayah from the Almighty, and I am confident that this is still just the beginning for her. If you're reading this, Aida, thank you very much dear! Nevertheless, somehow I don't really agree with the words in your card:

no matter too big, no matter how small, you deserve to have it all.

We can't have it all, but surely, the little things that we do for one another actually puts a smile on the face and warms the heart! :)

What else can I say? Allah loves us all and ensures that we are always surrounded by wonderful people to keep us company while the one person you need and miss most is missing. Praises to the Lord! In Him do we seek forgiveness and help, and in Him do we surrender...

Today's entry

"A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked." ~ Bernard Meltzer

There are several topics I want to write about here (have written some which probably won't see the light of day) but after some consideration, I've decided to post something I shared with friends in Facebook. Here goes...

*****

Friends on FB

How do you decide who to add and who to decline as a friend on FB? Then, of course there's the issue of DELETING names from your list (as FB has indicated that your friend will not be notified about the deletion - a blessing?!). Sometimes you get requests from names that ring a bell - an ex-school mate (whom you might have never spoken to before!), an ex-colleague, or an acquaintance of an acquaintance... Hence, you might add those. But what if the name evokes NO REACTION at all? Ha Ha..

Since I don't deny having a mammoth memory which often reminds me of how fast the clock is ticking or how little I've been exercising my brains, I often try to politely enquire how in the whole wide world did I come to know the person in the first place. Most times, my mammoth memory is to be blamed, but there are incidents where people are just trying to be friendly and extending their friendship (especially of those silent blog readers of mine). There are moments that I click on to names suggested in my sidebar of those I might know of (or might have known). Then again, I might totally be ignored or kindly be accepted. I take it as an indicator of how you stand out there. Whether people saw you or were you more like, invisible; liked or not terribly favoured; or, interestingly enough: whether you don a unique string of names no one can ever forget?!

It is entirely up to an individual to decide which friends are worth having listed in his/her directory but in my opinion, to DELETE a name from the list requires thorough consideration of possible consequences. Perhaps it will help to ask the questions: why? do I need to? is this person an enemy? does this person send me unacceptable and so outrageous applications that I can take it no more? did i make a mistake in the first place of adding him/her? would this person jeopardize my connection with others? how would the person take it - would he/she be ok, offended or insulted? Once you've run through these questions (and are prepared with answers), then by all means, hit the button if you're ready to deal with it.

What's with the topic, I hear you ask? Well, just putting my thoughts down as I've done all the above: hesitated about adding friends, queried and been queried about how I know them, deleted people I never really knew but added them anyway on my list (a second-thoughts' kinda thing), been deleted from their list (and reacted - what the ****?) and of course, been rejected (requests to add)! HaHaHa!

To all Facebook friends out there - don't delete me pleaaaaase!


look at the leaves in autumn - aren't we all just like them? one day we're together up there, and another day we're all down on the ground - brown and stepped on?

****

Friends have kindly commented, and it is quite an interesting topic to ponder on. For instance, Raz mentioned how selective she is at adding friends (no males!) and how helpful a photo is to failing memories! Sally, who's in Ireland, points out that she is very careful with making friends simply because of security reasons and cautions us to do the same. She said that she read a true story which happened in the UK about how a lady was threatened and stalked by a psycho from her friend's list by using her child's picture loaded on FB. Yes, many real-life cases have been reported to be led through by Facebook accounts. Sally also related a much-more-subtle version of a personal encounter that horrified her!

My friend Hanita has summed it all in three simple points:

1. Make sure there are pictures before you add anyone.

2. Do some stalking, will ya? Look at her photos. Look at her list of friends. Ask your friends if they remember this particular person.

3. Look at her particulars - send a private msg, asking things on how your paths have crossed. Must do.

On a more reflective mode, Razmi (who has more than 700 friends!!!) relates the moral behind 'Finding Nemo' to the issue of how life experiences make us bolder and more cautious. He says, " you can never be too open nor too discreet especially in life. balance is the key."

Now, the main thing is, do you have a Facebook account?( I know Kak Teh doesn't!) What do you think of it all?

ps: The original Note on FB was written as a dedication to my friend, N, who shared her utter disbelief and grief of being deleted by a friend. I wrote back to her saying that I too was once gutted to discover I was deleted from a so-called friend's list. Tried to pacify her by saying that perhaps there was a reason for the deletion (yes, we'd like to believe so...). As Samuel Paterson said, "Books, like friends, should be few and well chosen." :)

What we did last summer!!!

For me it was filled with meeting people while racing from one end to the other; for the kids it was a time to meet cousins and old friends, whilst enjoying the carefree Malaysian life...

I was treated to lunch by ex-colleagues at Khadijah's Kitchen. Of course, we just had to snap a photo with the Khadijah Ibrahim!
A glimpse of some of the Kaypo Klub gals. We spent hours looking back at pictures of yesteryears and ended up with a great longing to turn back time. Yes, I would definitely like that!!
Port Dickson - just posing... (that's what Princess does well)

Belum Rainforest Resort, Pulau Banding, Perak - a great adventure we enjoyed with family members. Activities included going into the jungle to see/observe the biggest flower in the world (Rafflesia), tilapia breeding, Orang Asli settlement, and elephant tracks.

At an Orang Asli (aboriginal) settlement - listening attentively to the old man's story.
Heading towards the waterfall for a good spot for lunch.
Little D with his favourite cousin brother who spoilt him like mad! In the background is a kubang gajah, or elephant clinic (I'd say) - where the elephants would come as a retreat to heal themselves from any injury or ailment. They'd scrape off the walls, which are somehow of high nutritional value, and eat them.

Under the wooden house on stilts back in Rembau, grandad's hometown.
The boys had a bash while I had mine with the Edinburgh clan - 2 years of separation yet the friendship still blooms. It's touching to see how loyal these boys are. From Left: Ashraf, Yusuf, Imran Omar, Abang Z, Muzaffar, Azuar, Zikri, Abang H and Rashad (this fellow was just tagging along his uncle, who's my friend, and he had a big surprise to see all his friends together! Perfect coincidence, innit?).

Giving moral support to Baim at his school sports event- imagine 9 children (Little D snapping photo with my assistance), 1 big bro, 1 big sis + 1 Mak Su cheering for ONE beaming boy!

So it has been approximately 20 years... but who says we've grown apart? School chummies: Kak Nash, Ain, Asma', Dr Sham, Ayeen, Huda and Kak Shidah. Simply cool!
Yes, we won't get to celebrate Eidul Fitr back home but we can have some fireworks a little bit early, can't we??

Bloggers whom I met:

• mamasarah + Mynn (sorry, no photos taken)



Meeting these two (plus Sara and Amar) was definitely not the first time for us. We started out as blogger friends, turned out to be neighbours, later developed into extremely close friends. It was good meeting them again - probably met up with mamasarah 5 or 6 times altogether. They're both doing well in their chosen careers but I don't think they'll be back blogging like those days. Life is just too hectic for them!

Thank you guys! (if by chance you read this, though I really doubt it)

• Azzah8

  



I was quite nervous meeting the 'Flower Lady' (as I labelled her on my blog previously) because she was the first blogger I was to meet upon coming home - excluding mamasarah of course. However, the warmth of her personality was certainly very comforting, especially when served with delicious spaghetti (which Little D had several helpings of!).

Thank you Kak Azzah - for the friendship and also book you loaned to my sis. May our ukhuwwah bloom like the flowers in your garden!

• Raden Galoh (no pictures either - always too engrossed with tales to tell!
  We met several times, Alhamdulillah... The first time round, I went to her Sunday Market stall at Amcorp Mall where we chatted and got to know each other. I had brought her a souvenir from England (which other blogger friends similarly got too) and was surprised that she also had a little something for me! Definitely didn't expect that! Anyway, managed to later visit her twice while she was admitted in the hospital. The last time we met was a week before I left. She had gone back to work for half-day sessions, and thus I agreed to pick her up from work and bring her to the hospital where my sister was - Kak Long had just had her third chemo. Raden Galoh is definitely an example we should all look up to because she reminds me that Allah, our Lord, loves us to no end. Definitely, my sister appreciated meeting Raden Galoh because it gave her a sense of strength that only an experienced person with such strong faith like her could do.

Sis Raden Galoh, may Allah bless you and ease your path. You are always, and always in my prayers and thoughts! (I'll continue sending you text messages from time to time, okay?!)

• nana, daddy (Bimmer 553) and family
  
  
  

  
  Nana is a young, ambitious and strong-willed medical student (she follows after both parents) who is extremely friendly and easy-going. The first time I met her was some time in February when she came over from Russia to the UK with her friend for a real holiday.
  When I decided to go home for summer, I informed Nana and we agreed to meet up later in KL. So, not long after, we were invited for lunch with her family at their warm and beautiful house. We thought of doing tea before the summer was over but unfortunately, time was not on our side.

Thank you to the Muin family for such warmth in the friendship! (Received our first Eidul Fitri card this year - via snail mail of course - and it's from the Muins!)

• myheartbleeds (no photos - talked and talked non-stop!)

This woman and I have a few things in common - we're the same age and we have both lost our husbands. It's wonderful to talk to someone who's in a similar situation as I am. With her two beautiful children, she had came over for lunch one Sunday afternoon bringing goodies for each of us. Ever since the meeting, we have unofficially appointed each other as confidantes to share our emotional roller-coaster rides. *wink *wink. Amazing what ONE meeting can do to build on a friendship so pure, eh? Subhanallah...

Thank you myheartbleeds. Hopefully soon the bleeding will stop and you will change your name to something more lively too!

• Simah



Meeting this particular woman who had come all the way from Istanbul with her charming children was a little tricky as she did not stay in the Klang Valley. Nonetheless, we were meant to meet after communication via blog, text messages, emails and one phonecall. Her devotion and commitment to her family is evident through her sacrifice to live away from home, in a different culture altogether. Isn't she such an admirable person? Simah, will start saving up to visit you there, eh? (if not, just in our dreams, maybe?)

• Ruby Ahmad



Sylish, confident and composed. Ruby Ahmad is filled with life and energy that 2 hours with her was definitely NOT ENOUGH! She had wonderful tales to tell - all insightful, with each leading to an underlying moral or value. We shared our experiences and at the end of the meet, I felt more confident and inspired to charge on with life. Anyone in need of a boost of confidence (and good company) should definitely spare some time with dear Ruby.

Excellent! Parfait! Thanks Ruby!


• Darling (no picture)

We had planned to meet since the very beginning but my weekends were always booked and packed. So, 3 days prior to my departure, I was rushing around from one side of the Klang Valley to the other: Shah Alam - Midvalley (lunch with ex-colleagues) - Setiawangsa (farewell to the boss) - PJ. That was when one of the twins made an annoyingly pathetic request to stop by KLCC 'one last time before we leave.' My body was already exhausted but the traffic report indicated that it wasn't a good idea to head home. Hence, I decided to kill two birds with a stone, so to speak. Darling and I met over coffee, but couldn't take our own sweet time as my Fantastic Four were demanding my attention. Still, Alhamdulillah, I managed to meet the mysterious young lady whose voice I had heard through the phone a few times already.

Thanks for making it on short notice, Darl!

******

Then of course there were those I only managed to speak to or text via mobile:

1. Mak Lang - hope you got the English souvenirs you never seem to tire from!


2. Anggerik Merah - maybe we can set a date in 'ol Edinburgh one day, eh? *wink


3. mama22beas - so close yet so far! Although you live just a holler away, it just wasn't possible, was it? Another trip to the UK soon perhaps? Put Coventry on the list, eh?!
   
4. mki - a very distinguished and respectable person whom I owe gratitudes to: jazakallah Prof!



5. Silversarina - sorry I couldn't make it to your daughter's wedding. It was too far for us. Make sure you claim your gifts from Mak Lang, or she might just keep them. LOL! (next time kita jumpa ya kak!)
   
   

   (not forgetting, I also met friends who have come a loooooong way but are kept connected via the blogging world: Bluewonder, restless, faszt, zabrina, jooli and aida)
   
   I am glad we went home because it created a sense of closure for me. I managed to do things which I knew I wouldn't be able to do from afar. It was apt. Now, He has opened new doors for us and we venture into the future with a little light from Him - I can see our path, I can!

*****
Optimism - by Jane Hirshfield

More and more I have come to admire resilience.

Not the simple resistance of a pillow, whose foam returns over and over to the same shape, but the sinuous tenacity of a tree:

finding the light newly blocked on one side,

it turns in another. A blind intelligence, true.

But out of such persistence arose turtles, rivers, mitochondria, figs--all this resinous, unretractable earth.

*****

(PS: HOORAH - although this entry is not exactly what I had initially put together, I managed to F.I.N.A.L.L.Y get something here! Alhamdulillah...)

After 12 years

More than 12 years ago, these were the people I spent wonderful moments with: laughing, eating, joking, cooking, traveling, watching videos, and doing whatever people did in their spare time. My sincerest gratitudes to these friends who made me smile, and even brought tears to my eyes:
-Salha (+ Azrani and Arissa)
-Baida (+ 2 sons)
-Mada (+ Haslina and 4 children)
-Fendi (+ Norma and 2 children)
-Fidah
-Aida
-Azlah (+Radzi and Nadia)
-Myra (+ 5 juniors - Dr F off to Italy for conference)
-Nani
-Wan (+ Rohaizad and 3 princesses)
-Faszt ( + Zunar)
-Has ( + KS and 4 children)
-Dr Hazizan (+ Kak Ruby and 4 beaus)
-Dr Peah (+ Kak Niza and 4 kids)

Next time, let's not wait for another 12 years, okay??

Friendship

ALTERATIONS MADE: A NEW CATEGORY ADDED (7th APRIL 2008)
I have been meaning to finish this entry which I started some months ago, so when I read this, I was more than adamant to get this published.

As I have repeatedly mentioned, this blog has developed from one with an average of 30 visits per day to 300 visits per day. From just being D who writes from Coventry, England, to someone who once put her picture (and some people pinched them - hey, its got copyright, you know...) and mobile number up on the blog, and full name known by at least 50% of the bloggers.

Hence, this is what I have come up with (NB - these are based on those who make themselves known to me only, and I guess there are still so many who are silent bloggers):

1. This blog has reunited me or at least, connected me with approximately 100 people who have known me before but never been in touch with me ranging from 1 year to as long as 20 years ago; at least 10 relatives, approximately 10 acquaintances/friends from the past (Azuradec, Rara, etc.), at least 6 high-school juniors (Raz, AZ, Nadia, Adeeb, Fifah, etc.), 10 high-school seniors (Kak Wardi, Kak Sameena, Kak Annie, etc.), at least 20 of my high-school mates of the same batch (F.Asmak - I don't believe it!, Sham, Nora, Zalie, Ismah, Atie, etc.), friends during uni days (Roti Kacang Merah, etc.), at least 10 of my ex-colleagues (Han, Kak Zuri, Rinn, Razmi, Kak Ainul, etc.), at least 10 of the late Mr D's friends/ex-colleagues (Nain & Zaza, Kak Ni, etc.), and a handful of ex-students (Atiq from Jordan, etc.).
2. I have made friends with approximately 50 new friends through this blog, of whom I have either met (mamasarah, mynn, Halwafy, ileena, Minci, Hila, Murni, Kak Yati & Abang Hariri), received a phone call (Kak Teh, kd, Anita, Darling, Juwaidah, mki), received a text message (Kak Elle, Mak Lang, Kak Rina, Simah, Syana, Zakiah, Azzah8, Dilla Ncl, Haq Dad of 4+1, Hizwani, Maz from KK, Rozlina from S'pore, Nureen, Hazlina, Suaniza, and numerous others who never really identified themselves so I labelled them Silent Blogger 1 - 6), become friends in Facebook (Ruby, Eddie, Marfin de Rina, Sawiah), received an email (Rd, Delliya, Nurmazilah, myheartbleeds), or received extended wishes/salams from. I now have 33 names of people whom I have known via the blogosphere in my mobile phone.
3. Another category which is rather difficult to calculate is the wonderful bloggers I have made friends with entirely within the blogosphere, i.e: whom I have not met or received a phone call/text message/email/FB invite. Friendship somehow blossomed through the frequent hopping to and fro blogs, and the comments left after entries. A quick mental calculation would sum up to approximately 30 of them (ahni, ajzie, baiti, umi kalthum, Anggerik Merah, Cik Dinz, Don't be sad, helena, ibu, kak long, lady istanbul, mama beas, May 13, matredo1, merapuman, milah, kc, elara, mummydini, nj, rad, raiedzall, kak lady, uncle lee, mulan, and of course many more).
4. This is an important category and very personal - those who I've known for more than a decade and NEVER lost touch with me for the past 2 years. Some are active bloggers (BAMZ107, Sis Zabrina, Bluewonder and Aidareza), while most, are silent readers (KaypoKlub girls, of course!). These are special close friends of mine.
5. Then of course, there are others who don't really fall into any of the above categories but are regulars to my blog - whenever I am in hiatus, they'd text/email/ring me (you know who you are). So thoughtful and caring!! Well, I don't even need to be in hiatus for them to get in touch with me, really...

My horrible Maths has therefore managed to total all that up to: approximately 80 new friends and possibly more than 100 old friends of whom I have managed to gain through this humble blog of mine. Remember, I have only put up those brave souls who have kindly introduced themselves to me. There are others who are still tiptoeing in and out these pages, for fear of being spotted and recognised. HeHe... An entry written in the past on this topic of tip-toeing can be read here.

Thank you all!

Apologies for putting up names in this entry - it's my way of acknowledging you - and most probably leaving out some (this can be intentional too!).

11 years and counting....

Today is the 11th aniversary of my graduation - together with 10 other dear friends. So far, we have never failed to forget this memorable day, an event that we had looked forward to six years earlier.

When we started off in enchanting Edinburgh, in September 1990, all were innocent and almost-strangers. At that time, there were 15 of us, but 3 withdrew along the way, while another stayed on just a little bit longer. We had a great time throwing snowballs to one another in the snow, climbing up steep cliffs and abseiling down them, trekking in the Scottish highlands, spending nights watching videos in the dugeons, to name a few... There were trips across the European continent, adventures on trains downsouth, and not forgetting the 3 months of practical teaching in Kuantan!

Once we graduated, keeping in touch with one another was not an easy task. Some were posted away from home, to serve the nation, some others settled down and were more occupied with family life (with off-springs). It wasn't easy yet as time passed, we managed to work things out. People were more settled and technology became more reliable and accessible. Hence, the KaypoKlub took form.

Today, we are more than just friends. We are like sisters who share good and bad news , and are always praying for each others' success. It's sincere and it's pure. Though there are a couple who have been detached and show miminum interest in the group, I pray that they get on well with their lives.

On the 4th of July, 1996, we made a pact to have a reunion in 10 years' time. That was supposed to be last year. Unfortunately, it didn't really materialise. By then, I was already away from home, another in Aussie, and the others all tied up with various forms of commitment. Still, I believe that we are always close to one another. If not physically, then obviously more emotionally.

To my dear KK clan, perhaps we can have another reunion back in Edinburgh say, in 9 years' time? Thank you everyone, for the wonderful times together!

D. M. S. W.

H.

N.

P.

N.

J. N. A . M.

D for devastated!

It's been a week since Mr D was hospitalised. Praises to the Almighty for the improvement in Mr D's health. He is regaining his strength and I continue praying. Everyday, we hope that he will be discharged but to date, I seriously don't know what is exactly the case.

Let me explain to you how it all started and why it took so long for us to get the proper medical treatment.

Some time early May, Mr D had a toothache. Initially, he tried to ease the pain just by taking some painkillers but it was no good. A week later, he went to the dentist and was told to go for a root canal treatment. After about a week (half-way through the whole procedure), he was beginning to feel better. However, a day after that treatment, he started to feel some strain in his right foot. Slowly, it worsened - creeping up the calf and then up to the thigh. I tried massaging the area where the pain was (no expert in massaging!) but was later advised by an expert here to just concentrate on the hip area. He felt better especially after a few days.

During this time, he made an appointment to see the doctor (GP), and after about 5 days, went to see him. The doc sent him away for some blood tests. We happily obliged, and was advised that the results would come in after 5 days.

However, things sort of worsened when he began to develop some pain in the chest. We tried to detect any possible causes, and realised that he could have sprained a muscle while trying to lift a heavy cabinet! Oh dear... He began to have difficulty breathing, alongside the excruciating sensations in his lower chest. I rushed him to the walk-in centre (you can't rush him to the doctors if you have an emergency here, unlike in Malaysia!!). When he said chest pains, one will always associate it with the heart, and that thought struck me too.

To those who aren't familiar with the health system in the UK, the walk-in centre over here is basically run by nurses, and they immediately attended to Mr D, for fear of a heart attack. They checked his oxygen level - normal. ECG - normal. So, the nurse finally said that he probably had gastricitist or something of that sort. She advised us to go back to the GP. Meanwhile, to take some syrup to relieve the discomfort.

Yes, by that time, we had already arranged to see the doctor for some follow-up of the blood test, as well as the added ailment. By the end of the week, we went. The doctor was NOT helpful at all. He said that Mr D was probably experiencing stress and anxiety, or whatever mumbo-jumbo it was. I tried to insist for an x-ray because it had gone on for awhile. He couldn't eat, he couldn't sleep at night. And, I was left feeling hopeless because I didn't know what to do! Anyway, the doctor said his chest was clear, hence no need for x-ray. Mr D was given prescription for some anti-biotics. Period.

To make things worse, when we asked about the results of the blood test taken earlier, we were surprise to be told that there wasn't any in their data!!! Boy, was I mad then... After all the wait, they're telling me nothing's back? Isn't that just pure negligence? And, of course, we were asked to wait some more, till they tried to investigate (though I wonder whether they're still investigating as I'm writing).

By this time, Mr D was almost an invalid. I sought advice from whoever I could, including mamasarah's hubby, Dr Mynn. I checked on the Net for information. He hardly even smiled to me as he was in pain almost all the time. I had already decided to rush him to the Accident and Emergency (A & E) unit at the hospital. Thanks to a friend who was familiar with the procedures here in the UK, he brought Mr D straight to the A&E unit and Mr D was immediately attended to, and later admitted. You see, when you have the kids to think about, going off to the hospital involves a lot of restructuring and rearrangements. Having someone else help out is indeed a big help.

The diagnose: blood clot in both the leg and chest. To even find out whether it is Deep Vein Thrombosis (DVT) or Pulmonary Embolism (PE), is almost impossible. Only the doctor could explain to us the details, not any of the nurses and the irony is, the doctor was hardly around. However, I am relieved that he has finally got the treatment he deserves.

Just like winning the academy awards (only that I have not won a particular award but I have been awarded so many great friends), I would hereby like to thank the people behind Mr D's recovery:
1) family members who are praying from afar, thousands of miles away;

2) friends who are physically close: offering help and showing concern through phone calls, visits to the hospitals, food for the family, baby-sitting the children;

3) fellow-bloggers who have offered sweet words of advice and encouragement, as well as prayers, from all around the world: Malaysia (east coast, north, Klang Valley, south, East Malaysia), Singapore, Saudi Arabia, the UK (Coventry, Sheffield, London, Preston), Japan, and everywhere else;

4) friends back home, especially the members of KaypoKlub (our Horay-Mouse Edinburgh clan), including Bluewonder's hubby, Dr F for the invaluable advice;

5) friends who are within the UK but not really in Coventry, who have offered their moral support and prayers via phone calls and e-mails: from Durham, Manchester, London, Plymouth.

This is only a minute form of trial for us - for me in particular. There are a lot of lessons to learn from this one incident. And I'm pausing to reflect... (coming soon in the next entry)

Superb strawberries

It's June - the time for strawberry-picking. And so last weekend our children went apicking. But no, not at a farm. Just from our backyard! Way back in March I bought 4 small pots of strawberry plants for each of my children, since Abang Z and H are keen gardeners. They transfered it into the patch in the backyard and by last weekend, we managed to have a handful of strawberries. Yet, somehow, it ripened a day after I prepared Tiramisu for a visitor. Still, on Sunday, I managed to decorate Mr D's Father's Day Rainbow Cake with them.

Okay, so I may have misled you by making you think we managed to pick a few basketfuls of those sexual strawberries. Well, that wasn't really the end of it. Our first friends in Coventry invited us over on Sunday - for a barbeque in their beautiful garden filled with roses, foxgloves, primroses, daisies, and God knows what else were the name of those flowers!!! There was a fish pond, a few strawberry patches, herbs (basil, parsley, to name a few), budding fruit trees - conference pears and apples, and much more attractive plants. In a glass bottle, there were even 2 frogs croaking at us!

We went with only a container filled with some chicken curry rolls but returned with hands full of bags - 2 pots of Polygonum odoratum Lour (pokok daun kesum), a basketful of strawberry plants and another filled with picked strawberries. Thank you, dear F family, and may your good gestures be repaid. We had a grrrreeeaaattt time in your gorgeous English garden, feasting on chicken and lamb satay and barbequed ribs. Ummmpph. Life is indeed more meaningful when shared with wonderful people.

Let's see... what shall we have now: strawberries dipped in chocolate, strawberry shortcake, strawberry shake, strawberry smoothie, strawberry muffins, strawberry cheesecake or just simple strawberry jam?

Hey, wait a minute, where have all of them gone?

The Bloggers' Current Trend

I GOT A NICELY WRAPPED GIFT YESTERDAY!!!

I must say that the discovery of great bloggers via this humble blog of mine has brought wonderful experiences. Perhaps it is much more appreciated when one is thousands of miles away from the land called home. Four months ago, I discovered that a name quite familiar amongst some bloggers actually lives in the same city as I am! Upon more investigation, I found out that she lives only a block away. She had us over and we had her over too - only to be surprised with a present, all beautifully wrapped in pink!

Yesterday, another kind blogger sent me, who doesn't really frequent her blog that much, a nicely wrapped gift via her sister who was travelling in Europe. Obviously, it was all impossible without dear neighbour-blogger. The whole family was extremely excited! Without having a chance to snap a photo of the package, everyone was eagerly sitting in a circle wondering what was inside. Questions like: "Siapa bagi ni Mama?", "Birthday siapa Mama?" and "Kenapa Aunty mamasarah bagi kita present?" were thrown in, among others.

They carefully unwrapped the package and in were some keropok ikan (woohoo!!) with a few packets of spices. So, yesterday we enjoyed a plateful of long-craving keropok dipped in chilly sauce/tomato sauce. When I was frying them in the kitchen, all were eager to watch me do the miracle job. Abang Z even admitted that he forgot how the outcome of fried keropok looks like! Oh, dear, and we haven't even been here for a year.

To maklang, thank you loads from us all. It is actually very touching because we don't really know each other that much (damn, tears running down the cheek now!). In return, I can only pray the best for you and your family...

What does it say about bloggers? You pause and reflect.

Our small do

This was the cake I baked the night before Princess' birthday. We all shouted "SURPRISE!" when she walked in the room. The brothers were actually more excited than her. HeHe...

Last Saturday we had a small do for our Princess. Only invited 3 families over. It was mainly just a children's affair - the food prepared with the children in mind. HeHe... Made a chocolate cake with pink cream topping, pink strawberry cupcakes, tuna sandwiches, trifle, bread n butter pudding, mini pizzas (Mr D's) and lontong + peanut sauce. For drinks, we had home-made strawberry flavoured 'sirap bandung'. I rushed through with the cupcake icing at the last minute, hence the deco was pure scribbles! Scribbles or not, those seemed the hit of the day with the kids. I promise I'd be more artistic next time around.

The idea was to have the adults over but to organise games for the kids. My children's idea of a birthday party is games and more games. However, as usual, when people come around, things get out of hand as I have to control everything. Hence, we only managed to play two games before it began to drizzle.

Thank you mamasarah for helping out with my preparation - always very resourceful! Thank you to all the guests who made the day more memorable for us.

Kite Crazy

If you recall our younger days, there'd usually be different seasons playing different games. I remember when it was "teng-teng" and "batu seremban" time. With "teng-teng" we'd be forever with a chalk (pinched from the classroom) or finding 'spots' on the sand to draw out our frames. "Batu seremban" was more challenging because we had to find fabric remnants and stitch our way through to make 5 or 7 pieces. Of course, there was also the "rubber-bands" - all nicely linked into a long piece of rope. I can go on and on describing the "rubber/eraser" season, etc, but I'm not going down memory lane today.

For my kids, it's now the kite season. We started flying kites a couple of months ago but the air was still too chilly to stay out long. Furthermore, the kite was a bit temperamental. On Saturday, we went to a park where people flew kites. Well, I'd call them gliders, to be exact. It's the big long one and the kite-flyer would actually sit on a cart, to be wheeled away as the kite/ glider flies in the sky. Pretty cool. I have to apologize because I didn't have my camera with me. Hence, the picturesque moments were unrecorded. MrD was in charge of the kites with our little ones. I couldn't stop laughing, watching my kids each with their own kites - a plastic bag hung on a piece of string! It may sound ridiculous and silly but the wind was so strong that whatever you had would surely be flapping away.

Yesterday we got another kite - this one smaller and easier to manage. However, it wasn't windy enough. To make it worst, this time around I was the person in charge because MrD was poorly. We went with mamasarah and family, and Dina - to a nearby park, mainly to picnic under the shades! Here are some photos snapped by the ever professional, babah sarah.

Just a note of thanks to my 'neighbours'. Will be doing more picnicing in the future, eh?!! I'm planning for a May picnic now...

Editing service

A dear old friend back in Malaysia is finishing up her DBA and I offered to edit her work (HaHa!). She asked how much I was charging, so this was the quotation I gave her.

**********************************************************
Dear Sister Z,
Enclosed is the quotation for the service you have enquired. Please do not hesitate to contact me should there be any pressing issues. I look forward to hearing from you and serving you.

Regards,

D,
Editor for thesis,
University of PhDs.

**********************************************************
Quotation for thesis editing

Name of Client: Sister Z
Email address: zzz@cekodokmail.com

Please indicate the service required and the Grand Total for the job description will be sent to you in due course.

*Although this goes without saying, we expect the editor’s name to be included in the Acknowledgement page.

Description of task
1)Editing for language (grammar, sentence structure, spelling, lexis)

Expected cost

Some cursing, confusion, profuse flipping over references(dictionaries, thesaurus, internet), cups of coffee & light refreshments, and plenty of prayers.

Expected payment
A lifetime supply of trust and friendship

Description of task

2)General content idea

Expected cost

A new brain and all of the above

Expected payment

Some amount of du’a for

the editor’s well-being (including editor’s family)

Description of task

3)Editing for organisation

Expected cost

A new pair of spectacles and all or some of the above

Expected payment

Free supply of advice and opinion when the time arises


Description of task

4)Any such task within the same field

Expected cost

Some migraine pills and all or some of the above

Expected payment

A box of keropok ikan or ikan kering

**********************************************************************

Our motto: We serve to make you smile and pass with flying rainbows!

*****

I couldn't put up the above in it's original format as it got all distorted, so this is the best I could conjure!

I think this is the effect of reading too much of Sue Townsend's Adrian Mole and perhaps recent readings of Sophie Kinsella's.

Help!

A few more lingo losers

When young Malaysians go abroad to seek knowledge, they are often very enthusiastic. They brave themselves to finally practise the language they have so long learnt: the English language. Mr. D and I were watching TV together tonight and we began retelling the hilarious stories of our friends' first-time incidents in the UK. One is about dear Meor , Mr. D's friend while the other is regarding my friend, Amin (names obviously changed). Here goes:

Story 1
Setting: at the counter in the bank. Meor is withdrawing some cash.

Teller: How would you like your money?
Meor: Yes, I like my money very much.

*I hope I don't need to explain what the expected response should be.

Story 2
Setting: at the post office.

Amin: Can I have some stamps please?
Attendant: Where to?
Amin: Edinburgh
Attendant: First class or second class?
Amin: Third class!

** Within the UK, you have the option of buying first class OR second class stamps. First class costs a few pennies more but should arrive the destination the following day. While being cheaper, second class would get second class treatment, probably a day or two later. The Royal Mail DOES NOT have third class mails.

So, again I plead, PLEAAAASSSSEEE ask if you're ever in doubt.

smile!

Are you a natural smiler? Do you wonder why some people find it so difficult to smile, while others' never leave their faces? I think a smile can never be forced and it comes from a happy heart. I'm sure you have been caught (at least once, undoubtedly more) by another, smiling like a crazy fool to no one but yourself. It's usually a case of flashback; of one's words, actions or momentos.



Smiling is so much taken for granted that we don't think much of it. Yet, try to imagine entering a room full of people you know but with not a smile on anyone's face. You'd surely feel there's something amiss.




There may not be an actual price for a smile (hmmm, a ringgit per minute or hour?), or even a pahala per second of smile (kids are fond of asking the value of each good deed). Still, it is interesting to note that smiling is the easiest way of sadaqah, as it doesn't cost anything and you are never a smile less!


An old friend often ends his messages to me with a note to keep smiling. I wonder whether it means I have a nice smile that should be maintained, or that I don't smile enough? HaHaHa. Pause to reflect pleaseeeeee....

and when the dust sets...

So we've moved into a more spacious place at a cheaper rate. There should be less worrying things in my mind with a better physical environment. We've talked and organised our lives into manageable slots. It's now time to start cracking.

Alhamdulillah we managed to invite some close friends over last Saturday. House warming? A friend said, "house opening". Well, call it whatever you want but I do feel that the house has somehow been "launched" and blessed. The initial plan was to have more people around and have it during the day but because of other events planned, it was dinner and thus, a little restricting. Most importantly, we have invited those who have helped us a lot when we were struggling to settle down. And, the neighbours across the road who have been rather concerned. Still, in this new area, there are still more Malaysian neighbours we've missed - the one on the far end of the right side, and 2 more on the far end of the left side. Perhaps next week. Then, Mama Sarah can also join us (if she can accept my challenge to find me!).

Back to cracking this crazy old nut, I HAVE in actual fact spent a couple of hours today (yipee-doo-daaa) on my work. But a couple of hours is far from enough. I'll have to burn the midnight oil and NOT be beckoned by other bloggers to go visit their spots.

Hey, wait a minute, what am I doing here???

appreciating...

I'm posting this as a gratitude to my friends, Alhamdulillah...

A friend is like a flower,
a rose to be exact,
Or maybe like a brand new gate
that never comes unlatched.
A friend is like an owl,
both beautiful and wise.
Or perhaps a friend is like a ghost,
whose spirit never dies.
A friend is like a heart that goes
strong until the end.
Where would we be in this world
if we didn't have a friend.

Got this from the net - anonimously written. Liked the simplicity of it. Yet, it's only dedicated to those labelled friends. Not to bitches, back-stabbers, fair-weather friends, or scumbags... Just true friends.