Thursday, November 01, 2007

He's gone...

That was all I could muster and send to some of the numbers on my mobile. Forgive me if I didn't send you a message personally and also for not replying the hundreds of messages, emails, blog comments and missed calls.

Thank you for all the support, encouraging words and condolences, though some have sent me text messages without leaving a name. Thank you friends, for doing the necessary.

Let me now give the details of what happened on 29th October, 2007.

On Sunday night I did not accompany my late husband at the hospital because a visitor from afar had come late in the night and had to head for London very early the next morning.

After sending the children to school on Monday, I made my way to the hospital with my in-laws. I also made arrangements for a friend to pick the children up from school and bring them to the hospital later. It was Mr D's birthday, you see, so I wanted everyone to be there with him.

When we arrived at the hospital, Mr D sat slumped on the chair, hardly aware of his surroundings. I whispered Happy Birthday Cayang... in his ears. The pillow that supported his back was all drenched as the tube that drained the fluid from his stomach had leaked, or so we thought. When Jonathan, the nurse, came in to check his blood pressure, I told him to have a look at the tube. We discovered that it had actually come off. He was cleaned and changed into a different pyjama.

Later, David, the doctor, came for his rounds and informed us that both Mr D's blood pressure and haemoglobin were low. He recommended putting him on drips and 3 bags of blood. Again, he was poked and probed just to get the right vein.

By then, it was almost noon. I had to rush to the airport to pick my brother-in-law, Abang Hashim. I brought him straight to the hospital to meet Mr D and do the needful. Mr D was happy that Abg Hashim was there. Although his vision was all blurry already (effects of all the drugs), Abg Hashim's presence was much felt by him.

He even asked me, Where's Abah?

I said, There, over that side.

But he said again, No, your abah.

Oh, he's coming tomorrow, Cayang.

At one time, Mr D tried to get up from the bed and get into his slippers.
Where do you want to go, Darling? I asked.

Surau.

We were surprised. All the while he's been in the hospital, he only performed his prayers on the bed or chair. We were the ones who went down to the ground floor to perform our prayers.

No, cayang, you don't have to. Just do it here. Do your tayamum and stay here.

My mother-in-law then added, Furthermore, you've got wires all attached. How are you going down?

He just nodded.

We waited at the hospital for the children to come. At around 4pm, they arrived, all noisy and cheerful. Little D was excited and asked for the cake, to give to his beloved daddy. But Mr D was very weak. He was sitting upright on the bed, only half-conscious of what was going on. I asked the children to whisper their birthday wishes into their daddy's ear. One by one, they went. My mother-in-law cut the cake and distributed them to all but Mr D didn't have any. He hadn't eaten for almost 3 days. I cut 3 slices of the cake and gave them to the doctor and nurses at the front desk. It's his birthday today, that's why I've brought the kids here. They understood and came in to wish Mr D Happy Birthday too.

Then, we discussed who was going to stay with Mr D at the hospital that night. Both my in-laws wanted to stay and I agreed. I headed home, leaving my mother-in-law with my dearest, as I was coming back with my father-in-law later.

After dinner, we got ready to go to the hospital. Then, it struck me - I can't leave both my parents at the hospital. When the children go to school tomorrow, I can't be alone with my brother-in-law. So, I told my father-in-law and we then decided that my mother-in-law will stay at the hospital that night.

After leaving the children with the list of things-to-do-before-you-go-to-bed and a jet-lagged brother-in-law, we dropped by a friend's house to pay our respects. His mom who had suffered cancer for 9 years had passed away the day before.

As we reached the hospital, I had a few friends from university over. My mother-in-law wasn't happy to be left alone. She told me that the nurse advised for me to be with him at all times. My mother-in-law also said that while we were away, Mr D has asked to go to the surau again.

The nurse later dropped in and pulled me aside, He's probably going in 24 hours time...

I understood what she meant. I had seen it myself. He was too much in pain, that they had to drug him that much. I had cried so much within the few days, just looking at him. I then decided that the three of us had to be there with him. So, I called up Dr S's husband, M, and asked him to come to the hospital to bring Twin H home. I also made arrangements for a friend to fetch my dad from the airport the next day. I called up another friend, who was the closest neighbour, and asked her to help check on the kids the next morning.

That night, when we read Mr D the Yaasin and recited the kalimatullah with Mr D, he responded full-heartedly. We always came and read him the verses from the Quran but usually he'd follow us in whispers and probably fall asleep in between. That night, it was different. Though his voice was hoarse and his words slurry, he read along in a loud voice. Yaasin...

After a point, he only followed the zikr I often chanted with him, Lailahailla anta subhanaka innikuntuminazzolimin, and I followed him. I read the surah lazims with him and the ayatul kursi. My father-in-law sat at the end of his feet, reading Al-Waqiah.

At moments, his mind drifted away, and he said things that made no sense. But once, he asked, Nak ikut jalan mana ni? Yang ni ke ni? And I said, Ikut jalan Allah...Ikut jalan Allah saja... I feared that the devil had come to confuse him but I knew that he would know which path to choose.

We had read him the quranic verses for almost an hour, when suddenly he fell quiet. I saw it coming. The angel had come, and I knew. I read the syahadah close to his ear, repeating continuously. It happened in only a few minutes, and he was then gone... I glanced at my mobile, it was 10.50pm. I kissed him and I told him, it's okay, Allah knows best.

It was then that I began to send text messages to my sister back home and some friends.

In moments, friends made their way to the hospital. We sat and discussed the proceedings for the following day, with some local friends. My decision was simple: to have things done as smoothly and as quickly as possible. I am not bothered much about culture or traditions, and do not like to create disagreements or disputes. I explained to the Malay community that we'll have to respect the local community and follow through with whatever they decide.

We went back home at 4am and I had a couple hours of sleep. My in-laws didn't. When it was time for Subuh prayers, I woke Twin Z up. I then sat him close by my side and told him what had happened. He was surprised. Tears flowed down his cheeks.

Later, Twin H came back from the sleep-over. He was already sobbing. I hugged him and told him that Allah loves his dad and has taken him to jannah. The other two then woke up and again, I explained it to them.

Alhamdulillah, everything else went smooth sailing. A relative, K , from London, took the lead confidently and coordinated well with M. Initially, the washing up of the deceased was led by a local, but then when he saw Abang Hashim doing a very good and thorough job, he let Abang Hashim do it our way, with the Malay community.

Surprisingly, once it was done, I was called in with my mother-in-law, girl and youngest. The night before, we were advised to wait out of the mosque compound, as ladies were not allowed anywhere within the mosque area. Somehow, the doors were all open for us then. In fact, it was left open for all visitors, men and women, to have a last look at.

The next worry was to have my dad arrive on time - before the body is wrapped up for the prayers, and then to the grave yard. After the Zuhr prayers, the men began to make their way to the body. I begged Brother Yusuf to give us another 5 minutes because I knew dad was just around the corner. Praises to the Almighty, Abah managed to have a last look at my dearest.

We followed the procession to the grave yard but waited out the gates. Remember, ladies were not allowed in. However, as soon as they laid the coffin in and buried it, we were again beckoned. The men were still there and yet we were allowed to come in. I was surprised.

All in all, my late husband, Hazlishah Abdul Hamid (aka Mr D) went peacefully and very quickly. I believe that Allah has set the best for us all, and in Him we all trust.


124 comments:

Amy said...

I cried reading this post. Dapat link dari blog kak lin readbean. Takziah. My prayers for you and the kids. Take care.

dith said...

D,

Eventhough I dont know you personally but reading about you in Mynn's and Nisak's blog has given me a chance to know a bit about you and your family.

ALhamdulillah, this entry shows how much patience Allah swt has given you in this great bereavement.

My heart goes out to you and your kids. Take care

ummu_naqeebah said...

salam, moga Allah tempatkan Br Hazli bersama orang yang beriman dan beramal soleh. saya harap saya dapat visit you sis InsyaAllah, saya ada kawan di coventry. InsyaAllah, dah lama terdetik nak visit sejak tahu sakit dulu

Laily
Sheffield

Anonymous said...

Even in sorrow you write so beautifully. You really are a tough cookie, Dij and I love you for it. Thank you for updating the blog. I am humbled.

aidamarie.

Mr Tompang said...

Dear D,
condolence to you, it seems only yesterday....but a year ago, that I met Hazli at the Kg tunku Mosque. The last image of him there after Friday Prayers just before going to Uk was a really happy man setting off for a new adventure with his family. He had a good life and a good family with to support him all the way. May ALLAH place him amongst the noble and the righteous

Wassalam

ZLAA said...

Salam D. Muga you tabah. Allah tidak akan menduga hambanya dengan sesuatu yang hambanya tidak mampu.

annisha said...

My deepest sympathy on the departure of your loved one. Truly Allah swt loves him more. May his soul be given pardonce and his grave, a window to jannah. Insya'Allah, ameen.

"Everyone shall taste death. And only on the Day of Resurrection shall you be paid your wages in full. And whoever is removed away from the Fire and admitted to Paradise, he indeed is successful. The life of this world is only the enjoyment of deception (a deceiving thing)."
( سورة آل عمران , Aal-e-Imran, Chapter #3, Verse #185)

Kak Teh said...

Al Fatehah dan salam takziah sekali lagi daripada kak teh sekeluarga.

I am Ann said...

Hi D, I too am humbled by your strength. Takziah and al-Fatihah once again.

bluewonder said...

My dear D,
I'm numbed and at loss for words.
Hazli's passing has been a blow to me and the Kklub girls. Semoga Allah mencucuri rahmat ke atas rohnya.

I have much to learn from your show of strength, patience and unwavering faith in the ALmighty in this very difficult period in your life. Take care and salam takziah kpd your family

Restless said...

I take off my hat anytime for you k dij - caya la.

From now on, chins up. Be strong!

Ramli said...

My condolence goes out to you and your family. Your children will grow up well being lead by a strong-willed woman like yourself.

zalin said...

I admire your strength, D.

Semoga almarhum Hazli di kalangan kekasih-kekasih Allah..amin.

Bertemu & berpisah kerana Allah.

*hugs*

fazah said...

Dij, takziah again. Be comforted in knowing that the bond between you and Hazli will never be broken, and we will meet our loved ones again. Allah loves us all.
Fazah.

mki said...

Kami mohon keampunanMu, kami mohon kerahmatanMu, kami mohon taufik dan hidayahMu.

Ya Allah ampunilah hambaMu ini. Semoga dia di tempatkan di kalangan orang-orang yang soleh dan beriman. Tabahkanlah hati mereka yang ditinggalkan. Jadikanlah isteri dan anak-anaknya sebagai insan-insan yang terpilih di sisiMu.

idham said...

Salam...D,
LiL and I read this entry together...and we went silent, holding back tears until we could hold back no more...we were touched and join you in prayers and in bereavement.
And you are so right....Allah Knows Best!
I am humbled, and pause in repentence.

Salam dari kami...

LiL and Idham.

anita kema said...

D,
I'm so sorry for the lost of your loved one. Ubat yg ayah kawan saya nak hntr tu baru sampai ke sheffield and I already told her about your late hubby. she send her condolences. yes, Allah knows best.. walaupun ubat tu x sempat sampai tp I'm honoured to get to know you.

-anita & raiedzall-
sheffield

reenazack said...

Dear D,

Takziah and be strong k..

I might not know u but i'm a fren of ur bro in law, hazran.. didn't know that it was ur hubby til i get to know he's leaving to uk bcoz his brother was sick..

God luvs him more than we do..

Kak Elle said...

Al Fatehah dan salam takziah sekali lagi daripada kak elle sekali lagi...membaca entry ni dgn berlinangan airmata.

take care and lots of hugssss*

blossom said...

Dear D,

I really admire your strength and faith in Allah SWT. You're right Allah has set the best for all of us and in him we trust. Take care my friend......

Anonymous said...

Hi Again...

Like the other readers am so humbled by your strenght and patience, reading this entry remind me of my own loss.. my dearest sweet mom,

My prayers and thoughts will be with you and children...

Take care... Jade

Anonymous said...

Assalamualaikum D,

I could not hold my tears reading your entry. Alhamdulillah, you ada disisinya semasa Mr D hembuskan nafasnya yang terakhir.Apa yang berlaku mesti ada hikmah dari Allah. Tabahkan hati & kuatkan semangat ok.

Take care.

Sincerely,
Jijimum & family.

rad said...

D,
Al-Fatihah utk arwah & salam takziah utk D & anak2 serta family.

Saya tak pandai nak berkata2 & bohonglah if i say, 'I know how you feel..' Sekadar doa dr kejauhan semoga rohnya ditempatkan bersama2 org yg beriman & d serta anak2 cekal meneruskan kehidupan.

Atfan SMAWP 82-86 said...

I was reading it as if I were there at the scene...was touched and moved. Takziah atas pemergian Almarhum. Be strong...you and everyone had done the best but Allah knows best what the best for him. May Allah bless him alway...

Anonymous said...

Dear,

I'm humbled with your strength, reading in awe, and lots of tears. Alhamdulillah, the 'departure' went smooth and you're there till the end, jannah for both of you, insyaAllah.

Stay strong!
California, USA.

konot said...

Salam,

Saya tak kenal D and your family member personally, but saya betul2 terharu dan amazed dgn semangat D. Buat saya berfikir seketika, yang setiap insan ada ujian masing2. Semoga Allah mencucuri rahmat ke atas roh arwah, dah semoga D dan family dikurniakan ketabahn utk menghadapi masa depan. Insya Allah.

AnnaSophea said...

Assalamulaikum Mrs/Kak D,

The Messenger of Allaah (pbuh) said: "The martyrs are 5: those who are stabbed, THOSE WHO DIE OF STOMACH DISEASE, those who drown, those who are crushed by falling walls, and those who die in battle for the sake of Allaah€( Authentic Hadith Narrated by al-Bukhaari, no. 615).

InhsALLAH Mr D left this world as a martyr...shahid.....Dua saya agar dia kini di taman syurga. Perpisahan ini tidak selama2nya sebab janji Allah bg org2 beriman ialah mereka yg menyayangi each other akan bersatu semula di syurga yang abadi.

Semoga Mrs D dan anak2 dicurahi ketabahan dan iman yg mantap sentiasa. Amin.

annasophea@gmail.com Wales

rd-littlemuffins said...

D,

I am lost for words :(
AlFatihah for arwah Mr D

Take care dear..
Hugs for you and the kids ...

drNO said...

I am lost of words...

AL-fatihah..

semoga D and the kids tabah menghadapi segala dugaan...

Anonymous said...

Assalamualaikum Kak D

Takziah... Semoga Kak D tabah...

Semoga Mrs D dicucuri rahmat & ditempatkan di tempat para syuhada..Amin..

Girl Interrupted said...

I cried till the end. I am sure you're one strong lady, am not sure if i can be as calm as you. Insyallah, he will rest in peace, Allah loves him more....

Anonymous said...

Al-Fatihah dan Salam Takziah..

Semoga tabah menghadapi dugaan Allah.

~ yus ~ said...

Salam,

Saya kagum dengan ketabahan D.Membaca tulisan ini dengan linangan air mata benar2 buat saya terharu. Semoga D dan anak-anak akan sentiasa tabah dan dikuatkan iman dalam menghadapi dugaan lain yang mendatang. Betul kata D, Allah knows best.

Takziah dari kami sekeluarga.Al-Fatihah....

~yus & din~
Parit Raja, BP.

Raden Galoh said...

Salam D...Ketabahan you terpancar di dalam tulisan-tulisan you ini. Hati yang tersentuh ini tidak dpt membendung kesedihan yang memang telah menyelubungi sejak mendapat tahu kepulangan Arwah di sisi Yang Maha Esa. Saya begitu mengagumi kekuatan dalam yang D ada. Sesungguhnya Allah itu Maha Agung. Membaca tulisan yang terus dari hati ini membawa keinsafan yang tidak terhingga.

Sekali lagi, salam takziah and doa saya sekeluarga berterusan semoga Allah memberi kemudahan untuk setiap urusan you sekeluarga.

Alfatihah utk arwah Hazli.

Ebak&Farouk's mom said...

Al Fatihah..salam takziah
Take care..

A.Z. Haida said...

salam,

takziah once again.
like many others, i too cried reading this. alhamdulillah banyak urusan dipermudahkan Allah, dan semuanya berkesudahan yang baik...

our prayers for allahyarham and for you and your family. take care.

al-fatihah...

azra & amin
asakusa, tokyo

anamiraa said...

kak D,
takziah. tak ada apa yang dapat diluahkan sekarang.

allah maha besar.

Anonymous said...

Salam Sis D,

from this reading, i really look up to u, begitu tabah & sabar.. please stay on that way, ur kids need it so much, especially fr now on ya... my prayers to u & family.. take care..

-drhanafiah's SIL-

akutakcerdik said...

My dearest arwah,

I died from minerality and became vegetable;
And From vegetativeness I died and became animal.
I died from animality and became man.
Then why fear disappearance through death?
Next time I shall die
Bringing forth wings and feathers like angels;
After that, soaring higher than angels -
What you cannot imagine,
I shall be that.

Aku

coops said...

Sis D, I cant hold my tears while reading ths. You are such a wonderful and strong wife, in which I believe your late husband must've been very grateful and thankful for having you by his side all the time. I admire your strength..my prayers for you and your loved ones, please take care of yourself.
Allah knows the best. I am numb.

Anonymous said...

Dear D,
I don't really know you but I cried when I was reading your entry. I pray that Allah will make you and your children strong.He knows better. AlFatihah to your dearest one .Semuga tergolong dalam golongan oran-orang yang beriman.

Muria Musa

cikdinz said...

Saya visit kak d blog dari monday but takde apa-apa news. just waiting news from you. suddenly saya heard about this and felt really-really sad.....

mcm mana nak cakap yeik..
takziah for your family yg sy boleh cakap kan....

NaNa said...

D,

Salam takziah to you and your family. Semuga roh Allahyarham Mr. D ditempatkan bersama-sama orang yang beriman.

Al fatihah.

nonie said...

i cried while reading this entry & still do... remind me a lot of what our family went through with my late brother...

but you are one strong lady & really admire you for that... al-fatihah for Mr.D & May he rest in peace & with Allah blessing always...

Nur said...

Dear Kak D,
Setiap yg tabah dgn segala ujian Allah akan mendapat anugerah Syurga dariNya...semoga tabah dlm menyusuri hidup.Your children will need you as their pillar of strengh..even though we are strangers to each other,my prayers will be with you..Al_fatihah..

Roti Kacang Merah said...

Dijji,
your adversity have filled my mind since knowing of Hazli's passing over through Fairuz's email on Tuesday afternoon. i thank you for the experience you ever so willingly share with us. so inspiring, so humbling.

teringat ke fairuz's kak teh (fazah) bila abg nazri nak pergi dulu. fairuz cerita, kak teh bisik ke telinga abg nazri, "Kita jumpa di sana, ya 'Bang..." during the last moments.

Kak Teh's and this story of yours, should bring hope to us all that when we thought we would not have the strength, we actually do... dengan izin Allah, that is.

The whole world's love and du'a to you, anak-anak and family, Dijji.

Love.

~ iNa ~ said...

salam kak D

I cried as I was reading this entry. Tak tau nak cakap apa. Just like someone mentioned earlier, meninggal kerana sakit perut adalah salah satu syahid kecil. Semoga Allah tempatkan arwah ditpt org2 yang beriman. Amin.

Hope u stay strong coz the kiddo need u...

Bearuang said...

Assalamualaikum D,
Sorry to send my takziah and fatihah at this late. I just got the news the passing of my dearest friend Hazlishah from my other friends in DIA ITMCK. I have known him and Pak Hamid since we were in ITMCK. He is a great person. It was a shocking news but Allah knows best for him.

For you... you have been a strong wife and mother. I can't imagine the patience you have in the test of Allah. Be stronger as days in follows.

Al Fatihah...

Mohamed Zakri Khan

Zalina (SIN) said...

Assalammualaikum SiS D, u may not know me, i read yr blog and felt so touch and cried. I admire yr strength and pray to Allah that u will remain strong. i believe Mr D is in a better place now. Take Care Sis.

Qimy said...

ive been waiting like crazy for this entry. Takziah sis D, may Allah bless those who went and those who wait.

-A total stranger-

Nadia said...

Salam. I almost teared reading this entry. I've been your silent reader for quite a while now and I'm so sorry for your loss.

Semoga Allah mencucuri rahmat ke atasnya. Amin.

You're one tough cookie, lady! I hope the kids are okay. Take care!

Anonymous said...

SUBHANALLAH
ALHAMDULILLAH
ALLAHUAKBAR

Humbled with your strength adik. Our DOA for you and your kids..Ameen

Nur and family

sYaNa said...

Dear D,

assalamualaiikum ... (hugs)

although we only know each other through blogging, i feel your pain and am humbled by what you are going through, your strength & your faith in Allah.

tears run down my cheeks reading this entry. al-Fatihah for arwah Mr.D, semoga dicucuri rahmat & doas for you & your family's strength & patience in facing such a test from Allah.

please grieve when you want to, for that will give you more strength to endure His test.

take care, D.

ajzie said...

From this reading, Saya tahu D begitu tabah & sabar..

AlFatihah utk arwah.. moga di tempatkan digolongan org yg beriman. Amin..

Hugs frm
Ajzie
mom frm Germany... now at Msia..

LiLaWaTi aB WaHaB said...

D dearie,

Salam takziah from me and family.Moga arwah berada dikalangan mereka yang beriman. And D dan anak2 dikuatkan semangat.Take care.

Hugs;
Lila(Silent Reader)

Anonymous said...

Al Fatehah and salam takziah

Queen Of The House said...

I am so sorry for your immeasurable loss. In the face of it all, your strength and courage are admirable. Semoga Allah sentiasa memudahkan segalanya bagi D dan anak-anak. Semoga arwah Hazli ditempatkan bersama orang-orang yang beriman.

Anonymous said...

Ijah

Takziah untuk anda sekeluarga. Semoga tabah menghadapi dugaan ini. Semoga Arwah diletakkan bersama golongan mereka yang beriman. Al Fatihah

Are Pac (Affandi)

WANSHANA said...

In your sorrow
I know not what to write
In my tears
I know not how you feel

But...

With your love for him
I know he was blessed
His love for you
I know you'll treasure
With your strength
I pray you'll soar
through it all...

In HIM we seek solace...

From HIM we seek forgiveness...

Beside us HE will be -

Until the day you will be together with him again in HIS jannah...

Insya Allah...Amin.

Take care, D...

My prayers are with you and anak-anak in this very difficult time...

Mama Rock said...

our prayers are with you. Alfatihah!

Cikna said...

Dear D,
I hope that you find your strength in coping with hthe situation. Lord knows best for Mr. D, and also you and your family. Be strong ya....
I don't know you but i gotta know your blog from a friend.

Anonymous said...

Assalamualaikum D,

Al-Fatihah buat Allahyarham Hazli.

Semoga tabah dan sabar menerima ujian Allah, doa saya agar D & anak2 diteguhkan iman dan sentiasa di bawah lindungan Allah.

Semoga rohnya dicucuri rahmat & ditempatkan bersama2 dgn para syuhada & salihin.

Amin.

-Hamba Allah-

Anonymous said...

Although we do not know each other, I cried reading your entry. You are such a strong lady and I hope you will continue to be so for the sake of your kids.

Allah lebih menyayangi Mr D dan salam takziah serta iringan doa dari saya dan keluarga agar Allahyarham Mr D dimasukkan ke dalam golongan orang-orang beriman. Al fatihah.

epelijau said...

Salam sis D...
Tiada kata..
Sy ucapkan takziah..Allah knows best..take good care of urself and the kids.
Moga rohnya dicucuri rahmat, dijauhkan azab kubur dan digolongkan dlm golongan syuhada dan baginya jannah....ameen...
U r so calm sis...so very calm....Semoga Allah memberkati sis n kids.

Theta said...

Takziah for your loss.

Your tenacity and fortitude speaks volume.

Our prayers are with you.

Theta and family.

Anonymous said...

Salam takziah.

semoga tabah mengahadapi dan mengharungi setiap dugaan yang datang. jadilah insan yang kuat, untuk diri sendiri, anak-anak dan keluarga yang lain.

Semoga arwah berada di kalangan orang2 yang beriman dan bertakwa. Bahagialah dia di sisimu Ya Allah. Amin.

*hug for you and your lovely children*

-hamba Allah di Kota Damansara, PJ-

lady pot pet said...

Came across your blog through Dr.Bubbles. Salam takziah and AlFatihah...my condolences from the north (Scotland).

I admire you for your strength....

tyrexia said...

salam takziah.
came across ur blog from someone's blog.

u are so strong.
wish i had ur strength when i lost mine. not husband. but my dad. he was 49 and passed away due to heart problem.

ur entry really inspired me.
THANK YOU SO MUCH.

azie said...

takziah to the family...

-azie n man-
ex uitmck

Anonymous said...

al fatihah...

simah said...

Al fatihah...

u have gone thru so much n yet..u sound so strong n full of redha....

take care.

makcik said...

Al-fatihah...untuk arwah dan takziah untuk sis D sekeluarga. Semoga terus tabah dgn qada dan qadar Allah...DaripadaNya kita datang dan kepadaNya kita kembali. Mudah-mudahan kita semua kembali mengadap Allah dalam keadaan Allah Redha dgn kita dan kita juga redha...Amin

Anonymous said...

alhamdulillah, it was certainly a good end. kita yg masih hidup tak tahu bagaimana kesudahan kita. mmg amat bertuah hazli mempunyai seorg isteri yg solehah, moga2 anak2 hazli menjadi anak2 yg soleh dan solehah sehingga ke akhir hayat mereka. May Allah reward you for sharing with us saat2 akhir ini. It certainly a good advice, sebagai panduan utk kita juga, utk sentiasa lead a good life, jln yg diredhai Allah, semoga mendapat kesudahan hidup yg baik. D hugs and kisses for you.

dari selatan UK

Suria Kelang said...

D, hanya Dua dan airmata yang dapat dihulurkan. Tabahkan hati dan kuatkan semangat. You are very strong and I hope you will not breakdown.

Berikan kekuatan kepada D Ya Allah. Dia hambaMu yang Kau pilih dan Kau uji kerana Kau tahu dia mampu memikul bebanan ini.

Salam dari saya sekeluarga di Shah Alam.

Pinkwatch said...

salam kak dijj,

ohhh.. I cried reading this entry.. betapa bertuahnya arwah mendapat isteri yg tabah dan solehah begini... Alhamdulillah... kak dijj, u r a very strong woman.. I envy u... semoga terus diberi kekuatan oleh Allah utk masa hadapan akak dan anak2... Hugs, Doa, Prayers for you and ur children from all of us...take care kak dijj,

Love,
Dilla Ncl...

kc said...

d yg diingati;

salam takziah yg teramat sangat dari saya di sini. semoga allahyarham hazlishah ditmptkan di golongan org2 mukmin dan dijauhkan dari seksaan kubur...amin!

Allah knows best...alhamdulillah he passed away peacefully and without much hassle. his sufferings ended there. like what syana said, grief all u can and when u can grief no more, pick up those pieces left and move on with yr life. life is like that...sooner or later we will follow him eventually. nothing is immortal in this world.

take good care of yrself and children.

yrs sincerely,
KC

Anonymous said...

Assalamualaikum,

May Allah bless & shower his soul with rahmah, and place him in Jannah...ameen.

I couldn't hold my tears when I saw the 3 little boys queuing up for jenazah prayer on the day! InsyaAllah, there is NO hijab between their dua' and your late hubby.

Be strong....your kids need you much much more than before. I lost my late father when I was 3 years old, hence I might know the feelings of your kids! They need you...and I believe that you can be the best mama in the world for them.

mobilemom said...

Al-Fatihah. Semoga roh arwah dicucuri ALLAH dan termasuk dalam golongan yang beriman.

Allah maha mengetahui apa yang terbaik untuk hambaNYA.

al-atiq said...

Salam takziah untuk D dan keluarga, moga ALLAH kurniakan kertabahan dan kesabaran menghadapi ujian ini.

Moga roh Mr D dicucuri rahmat dan ditempatkan di kalangan orang yang beriman.

al-atiq

SitiNur said...

Salam...

Tidak pernah mengenali D sekeluarga. Hanya mendapat khabar sms drp Prof MKI dan akhirnya berjaya ke sini melalui blog izzqayim.

Takziah pada Lady D, anak2 serta keluarga. Moga terus tabah.

Daripada komen kawan2, dpt saya simpulkan.. Jika kita mengejar akhirat, dunia mengejar kita. Jika arwah Mr D dan keluarga tidak berhati luhur, masakan mendapat ucap selamat serta sedekah zahir batin sebegini rupa. Alhamdulillah.

AlFatihah...

bimmer553 said...

Al Fathihah dari kami sekeluarga. Semuga D dan anak anak tabah menerima segala ketentuan illahi.

Anonymous said...

Allah knows best...

Takziah utk D, D sekarang adalah 'nadi' anak2...be strong...n i know u can!

Semoga Allah meletak kan Arwah Hazlishah di kalangan orang2 yg beriman...amin

Alfatihah

cikMilah said...

Salam D,
you late husband had a beautiful ending. Dengan rendah hati, kita mengadap ketentuanNya,bersama doa yang tidak pernah putus. ALFatihah untuk aruah dan doa untuk keselamatan D serta anak-anak-anak. Admiring yr beautiful strength.
Salam dari cikMilah dan famili.

Wardi Fathi Othman said...

Salam Ija,

terus kuatkan semangat dan tabahkan hati. Ija dah buat yg terbaik. My du'a, roh Mr. D di tempatkan bersama org2 yg beriman.
Kita semua akan ke sana jua, cuma masa menentu segalanya.
Dari DIA kita datang, kepada DIA jualah kita kembali.

* i'm really touch by your entry, hingga lost in my tears.

wardi_othman@yahoo.com

maklang said...

MasyaAllah...mudah segalanya untuk D dan keluarga. Moga2 Mr. D dilindungi rahmatNya sentiasa..

Maklang doakan D sentiasa tabah dan kalau ada apa2 yang boleh ditolong, D ada no. maklangkan...take care...

(((Hugs))) dari jauh...

mamafiza said...

Dearest Miss D,

May you're in calm moment and may Allah swt bless you, your beloved late husband and your charming kiddies.

I'm applaud your strength and positive ways of life, you're indeed a great mother and a superb wife.

May Allah swt reward him in beautiful jannah. Amin~

All the best!


p/s: I can't hold my tears when read this news. Please, be strong.

sab2 said...

ladyD,

relakan pemergiannya,
kerana
Allah lebih mengasihinya.

tabahkan hati,
kerana
Allah tetap bersamamu!

Al-Fatihah untuk Allahyarham D...

salam. hjSab2 & isteri (yg sering ikuti kisah D)

Zawi said...

D,
Innalillah... takziah keatas pemergian orang yang tersayang. Dari dia kita datang, kepada dia jualah kita pergi.
AlFatihah.

Anonymous said...

assalamualaikum
keredhaan n kesabaran kakak n family sungguh besar...moga almarhum abg hazli berada dikalangan yg terpilih. Anak2 penyambung semangat...jika berpeluang saya ingin sekali memeluk mereka..insyaallah ketenangan hadir..Doa saya moga family akak sentiasa diberkati dan dlm lindungan Allah sentiasa

UmmLuqman said...

Assalamualaikum D,
Takziah buat D sekeluarga. Saya hanya mengenali D dari kawan saya QOTH namun saya dapat merasakan ketabahan yang amat sangat dalam diri D, semoga ALLAH kekalkannya demi anak-anak. Ingat, ALLAH tidak akan membebankan sesorang hambaNYA dengan bebanan yang tidak tertanggung olehnya. InsyaALLAH dengan sokongan dari keluarga dan sahabat D, segala urusan dipermudahkan ALLAH. Jangan malu dan segan untuk meminta pertolongan.
Saya do'akan semoga roh Mr. D akan ditempatkan bersama hamba-hamba ALLAH yang diterima disisiNYA.

mama's girl said...

Kak D,
Takziah. Semoga roh allahyarham dicucuri rahmat dan ditempatkan bersama2 orang2 beriman.

Al Fatihah

Ayong

leo said...

salam D
i remembered telling my hubby about your blog and about what your family is facing and now he's gone..salam takziah fr me and our prayers to you n family. your courage and strength has inspired many of us here. take care.

Helena said...

Alfatihah,

I just got to know today, salam takziah dan doa dari Helena buat D sekeluarga.

Take good care of yr self D...

M-O-M said...

Again kak D, alfatihah for your late loved one, and semoga akak terus tabah.

Kak Lady said...

D..Al Fatihah buat arwah...semoga rohnya di tempatkan bersama orang yang soleh

D..tabahkanlah hati untuk mengharungi segala yang telah Allah...dan redhakanlah pemergiannya kerana ALLAH lebih mengetahui ..

Anonymous said...

Assalamualaikum K.D,

I've been a silent reader of your blog for a long time. My condolences to you and your family.

Semoga arwah ditempatkan bersama orang-orang yang beriman. Insya Allah.

Hope you and the kids are okay. Insya Allah :-)

Al-Fatihah

Ps - i wish i have half the strength and courage that you have

Anonymous said...

As a sunnah of our Rasulullah saw, we are asked to read a doa for the dead as follows:

"Wahai Tuan kami, sesungguhnya Hazlishah Abdul Hamid adalah di dalam genggamanMu, oleh itu peliharalah
dia daripada fitnah kubur dan azab api neraka, Engkaulah yang paling layak memenuhi janji dan
kebenaran, oleh itu ampunilah dia dan kasihanilah dia, sesungguhnya Engkau maha pengampun
lagi maha penyayang"

Amin Ya Rabbil Alamin

Anonymous said...

salam,

i've been reading & follow your story for quit sometimes. never have guts to send any reply to you but ..i tot i need to put some words here. i'me sorry for your lost. My condolences to you and your family.-Al Fatihah-
for all that you've been thru i believe you more stronger now. i really hope you go thru qada & qadar allah dengan penuh ketabahan. i will always pray for you.

Sarah said...

Assalammualaikum,

I am sorry to hear about your husband. When I read your post, I feel terribly sad and tearful.

Ini semua dugaan Allah Taala. I know you are very strong woman and you have to be because your children needs you to be strong. Prayers for your well being.

Don't worry, although you feel that you are alone, we Muslim will always stay together no matter where we are.

InsyaAllah, your husband akan di tempatkan di kalangan org2 yg beriman.

© Oshun/EM Muhammad/Nadia Emarele Muhammad said...

Salam takziah dari kami sekeluarga. Semoga ALLAH mencucuri rahmat ke atas rohnya. Juga, semoga ALLAH memberi kekuatan kepada puan anak beranak.

mohd rafie said...

Assalamualaikum.....

Takziah buat penulis and keluarga....

Semoga beliau ditempatkan bersama orang-orang yang beriman.....

Rafie
-Arch Students-
-UiTM Shah Alam-

Earthmom said...

Salam sister,
Inna lilLah wainna ilaihirajiun.
From Allah we came , from Allah we return.
Condolences for the passing of your love one. May he rest in peace.

Anonymous said...

walaupun tidak mengenali siapa anda dan keluarga anda.Tetapi kerana iman yang sama kita pegangi,saya ucapkan takziah untuk anda sekluarga.
Im Ustaz Maszlee's student..I know about ur family from Ustaz's blog..
Moga tabah...wasalam

Mcik said...

Kak Dij.... my condolences to you and your family.Al-Fatihah buat arwah..

From,

Emilia Amran x-Pompei `96

Wiz said...

I shall not ask you to be patient,
I shall not ask you to be strong,
I shall not say you must now learn
to have your chin up and move on.

I would say, it's alright Miss D,
Cry, just cry your heart out,
Have a moment, a time to be,
with you, Allah, and say your prayers out loud,
For He listens, For only He knows,
what's there in your pure heart,
For the strength and comfort He'll bestow,
As He already did right from the start.

My condolences and my prayers for Mr. D, you and kids. You have been tested Miss D and I believe you have passed with flying colours. I'm sure Mr D is very proud of you now.

Thanks for sharing.
Assalamualaikum.
Warmest Regards
wiz

aripsa said...

As I read to your blog i felt tears welling up inside me but I could not contained my tears any longer when I read the part your Father in law reading the passages of Al-Waqiah.

I checked the translation and meaning again and once again I cried when i read ayat 88. I read also Al-Fajr ayat 27 and humbled with the meaning.

Thank you for sharing. Your post has renewed my conviction to make Surah Al-Waqiah my daily read. InsyaAllah.

I pray you and your family be strong during this trials by Allah.

ros said...

Salam Sis,

Du'a saya:

Allah SWT mengampuni dosa-dosanya arwah dan di permudahkan urusannya disana dan,

Allah SWT memberi kesabaran dan kekuatan untuk Sis dan anak-anak melalui hari-hari yang mendatang.

Ameen.

Kuala Lumpur.

rizal_a said...

Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal...Give sorrow words; the grief that does not speak whispers the o'er-fraught heart and bids it break...all of us will b arnd if u nd us...sincerely...

Anonymous said...

Salam aleik sis,

May Allah keep you strong, sis.

And my du'a is for you and your family.

Insya-Allah, Allah knows best.

Ameen.

Wassalam
-A.I
Guildford

Anonymous said...

akum..semoga roh arwah ditempatkan dikalangan org yg beriman..aminnn

banat @ saffa @ hazwani said...

salam...kak D
harap tak terlewat untuk saffa ucapkan takziah
saffa kagum dengan semangat dan ketabahan akak
yups...seprti yang lain, air mata safffa jatuh tak tertahan..
pinjamkan ketabahan akak pada saya

Anonymous said...

Assalamualaikum Kak D,
Takziah and Al-Fatihah. My husband is a friend of your dearest Mr D. He asked me to read your blog. Your blog have give me so much insight, understanding and realization of something that I had missed out. My wonderful father passed away because of colon cancer when I was a teenager. It was so sudden since he died 3 weeks after he was admitted to the ICU. I never had the chance to talk to him before he passed away, because I was studying far away and was only informed of his condition after he was admitted to the ICU. It was so sudden since he was not sick before. I was at a lost and was really sad. I cried everyday for 2 years whenever I think of him. I was really close to him. After a few years, I've learn to accept his death. I've also turn to a 'strong cookie'. But, what really strike me when I read your blog is my mom. I have never really understood her before. She was a fragile person, that the first thing that she said to me when my father was in ICU is, "I don't know what to do". I was her pillar of strenght when dad was sick and after he passed away. After that she was always busy with her life that sometimes I feel sad and angry because she never have time for me. Now I understands why. She was trying her best to live life without her most precious gem, her soulmate. I just want to say that your blog make me realized that I might have been selfish all this time, I have never understand the feeling of a widow instead of just the orphan. I will try to mend the distance relationship that I have with my mom. Thank you. Please take care and I wish you the very best.

noor said...

Assalamualaikum D,
I first met your late husband at the Kuala Lumpur International Airport sometimes in 2005 or 2006. My husband who was then working in Sudan with Mr D wanted me to send few things to him through Mr D who was on his way back to Khartoum after spending a two weeks holidays here in Malaysia. I was given the late's phone number in which I called and made an arrangement to meet at the airport. What I could say from that first meeting was Mr D was really a very kind-hearted man ( I was initially very nervous about how Mr D's reaction would be after seeing me walking toward him with a bagful of clothes for my husband but Mr D was very calm, very cool,very easy going person, he's not making any fuss about the extra load he had to carry infact he still manage to give me an honest smile and create a joke whether I want to send any peluk cium to my husband....)
So it was not a surprise the shocked I had when my husband told me that Mr D was suffering from cancer and has only 6 months to live. It was in 2007 and my husband was already back in KL and he learned about Mr D's predicament from an office mate.Since then too I was a frequent visitor to pause to reflect and everytime I read it and saw Mr D's picture, I will always remember the kind-hearted not fussy person I once had a chance to meet less than a year ago. Infact I had few pictures of Mr D and my husband in Sudan in the computer. .And when one day my husband came back and told me about Mr D's passing, I cried. I looked at his smiling pictures and it saddens me more knowing he's no longer around with us.... My heart goes out to his wife and young children he left behind, being a wife and a mother myself. But like D always say, we love him very much but Allah loves him more. Allah is not taking him to make him suffer but He takes him back to lessen his sufferings. Mr D is now off to a better place and he was very lucky to be blessed with few kids who can always offer prayers to their beloved dad.
Takziah D and Alfatihah....Do know that your husband is a very good and kind hearted man. You are very lucky indeed to be given a chance to share your life with such a wonderful loving man......

Anonymous said...

We may not know each other but tears run down my cheeks as i read this post.. May Allah grant u strength and take great care of ur kids ya!

yuss2910 said...

assalamualaikum,
u dunno me & i dunno u either. i got ur blog address from my frens. i'm sorry for ur lost. i shed in tears when reading ur posted. Yes Allah know best for all of us. Semoga Allah mencucuri rahmatNya ke atas roh suami Puan.

p/s>> Mr D bday same as mine 29th October..

zarina irfan's mum said...

Assalamualikum D,

Alfatihah for your late husband and my du'a for you and your kids.

D,
take as much time as you need to get your self heal. it's ok to miss him.

zarina

fieza said...

assalamualaikum,

we may not know each other but this post really has touched my soul.
im really sorry for ur loss and be strong ok..
semoga rohnya bersama dgn kekasih kekasih Allah.

fieza, kuching swak.

NANA RAZALIEGH said...

Assalamualaikum akak


you are such a strong and brave women..takziah saya ucapkan

saya menangis baca entry blog akak nie..


take care and saya doakan untuk akak semoga tabah menghadapi perjalanan hidup. amin

lyn said...

salam kak D

takziah. Allah lebih mengetahui apa yang dia kehendaki. saya tahu akak kuat dan tabah menghadapinya. dan saya tahu kita sebagai isteri dan ibu kuat sebab amanah (anak2) yang ditinggalkan oleh allahyarham sebab saya pun alami perkara yang sama.

cuma pemergian arwah suami saya tak diduga. saya terasa sangat kehilangannya. sehingga kini saya masih kuatkan diri untuk redha dengan ujian allah.

saya berdoa semoga akak dan anak2 dapat meniti kehidupan selepas ini dengan lebih baik. insyaallah.

saya diberitahu oleh lupekanje.blogspot pasal blog akak tuk ambik inspirasi akak. thanks

Lyana Mauseth said...

dear kak D,

Im sorry i cannot continue reading this post...will come back later when i am stronger...semoga akak tabah dan anak2 sentiasa mendoakan kesejahteraan arwah di sana...amin...

arsaili said...

salam kak...my tears drop...hope u always strong...

Jentayu said...

Alfatihah untuk Allahyarham,

Semoga di tempatkan di kalangan orang-orang yang beriman.

Semoga puan dan anak-anak juga tabah menghadapi hari-hari mendatang.

dari~ummie said...

salam kak D..
though you never know me..
salam takziah and alfatihah buat allahyarham..
ketabahan akak menerima ujian membuat saya bersemangat menghadapi hidup..
semoga tabah selalu kak D..
ALLAH knows best..

azimyd[@]gmail.com said...

Saya begitu terkejut dan sedih apabila membaca blog ini selepas membuat carian namanya di internet. Saya adalah rakan baik arwah semasa menuntut di UITM cawangan Kelantan dan telah lama terpisah. Arwah adalah seorang yang baik budi pekertinya dan rajin mengerjakan solat.Saya mengucapkan takziah kepada saudari keluarga. Semoga roh Allahyarham dicucuri rahmat dan ditempatkan di kalangan orang-orang yang soleh. Al-Fatihah....