Thursday, October 04, 2007

The children

I am utterly surprised and touched at the amount of support Mr D and I have received. Friends who we have lost touch, mates we have not met for many years, acquaintances whom we thought might never think much of us, relatives who we don't even have their mobile numbers and not forgetting, fellow-bloggers who we have NEVER met, have somehow reached out to send a soothing word and prayer. Thank you again...

I must also apologize to some of my great friends of whom I have not managed to reply text messages, emails or even comments (I had 29 in the last entry!). I always try my best to respond to them, as good wishes should definitely be acknowledged. However, time is not often on my side...

A celebrity blogger, Prof mki rang me up this morning. This is what I mean by the power of technology. Never did I imagine that friendship through the blogosphere could develop into something so meaningful as this. I have received text messages from kd and mak lang too. Comments from new blog friends send a tingle down my spine and even makes me think: what message have I put across through my words that has given such an impact on people - so caring and understanding?

I have just come home from the hospital with my in-laws. Together with my sister, nephew and niece, they arrived safely this afternoon. Dr S' husband and dear Abang F were kind enough to fetch and bring them to our humble home. The children are happy to suddenly be surrounded by family. Our visitors have brought some delights from home which has definitely put smiles on the children's faces. Initially, I had made big plans to bake Raya cookies, but since the turn of event, I thought, "aaaah.. it'll probably be packet biscuits from the supermarket this year." Now, I have enough kuih raya to last us the whole of Syawal!! They come from my sisters, step-sisters, relatives, and even mamasarah! Even old chummy R from Kuching has managed to squeeze in a cake (thank you, Rxxxxxx!).

Many people have also asked me whether my children know what is going on. They have always known that their daddy is unwell. If you recall me saying, Mr D has been in pain for so long. They have seen the tears that stream down my cheek, and sensed that something is amiss this time around. I have told them what is happening to their dad but their reactions are a little hard to decipher. Last night, I sat the three older ones down (aged 10 - the twins, and 7 - my princess). I told them what was happening and ended it with the usual words I chant daily: "Allah loves us all and He knows the very best for us, no matter what they may be."

With this, I think the children understand the situation a little bit better (though Princess tries to be funny by making ridiculous jokes). I have even told Little D about it. He seemed a little hesitant after listening to it, and asks heart-breaking questions like, "but if Abah is gone, then I wouldn't have any daddy anymore! Who's going to look after us?"

I often remind myself never to be selfish and wallow in self-pity by thinking of how I would ever cope with life without Mr D. Consenting to the divine will means to never allow such thoughts in your mind. That's my theory and I believe that this is the way to step ahead. Redha means to consent the trials that the Almighty has chosen for us. Because of that, self-pity is the poison to mental strength.

Hey, hold on a minute, no one's going anywhere, so cheer up, will ya?

32 comments:

~ iNa ~ said...

Salam Kak D,
I informed Shahreena bout this yesterday. She was so shocked. Then I gave her ur mobile no. Hpoe she'll be able to talk to u.
I guess the children understand what's happening and I brokedown when I read what Little D said...

rad said...

Salam d,
I'm not good in terms of putting my feelings into words but know this:
Berat mata memandang, berat lagi bahu yang memikul.
Tapi Allah takkan uji hambaNya dengan bebanan yang tak mampu dipikul.
Cubit peha kiri, peha kanan terasa sakitnya.
Yes, bloggers know each other only based on what each of us wrote - the camaraderie is no more or no less bcoz of that..You & family esp Mr.D are always in our prayers...
I 'like' your attitude! Juz let us know if there's any other small way that we can help...

I am Ann said...

Yes, be strong in the face of adversity. The children needs you. I wish your family a happy Eid and pray everything will turn for the better. Salam Aidilfitri.

Faruha said...

Salam D,

Hanya doa yang mampu saya panjatkan. Semoga D tabah dan terus di beri kekuatan. Ingatlah kuasa Allah mengatasi segala-galanya. Saya mengharapkan keajaiban akan berlaku, semoga Mr. D akan sembuh.

Roti Kacang Merah said...

Hey D***i,
I pray and hope that not only the strength for both of you would never ever cease, but also you both are surrounded with very positive and cheery people.

I like that line of yours ~ "self-pity is the poison to mental strength". and i love "raudah"'s comment on your previous entry.

Hey there's a SufiReiki in South Wales. Maybe you could browse through for some alternative 'distant' healing, kan? No harm ikhtiar, no?
http://www.sufireiki.org/en/welcome.asp

*hugs*

OndeOnde said...

Salam kak D..bloghopped from abe Idham.

May Allah give strength to you, to mr D and you whole family in this trying time..may Allah Bless you with His Hikmah..*hugs*

Queen Of The House said...

D, your positive attitude is just one of your many strengths. I am glad you have family members with you and the kids. It is good too that you are not hiding anything from the children. I just don't know what are the right words to say ..... but stay positive and believe that Allah will take care of you, all of you.

cikdinz said...

Ya Allah ya tuhan ku, walaupun kami tidak pernah berjumpa, ku pohon agar kesejahteraan dan kesihatan yg baik akan muncul kembali untuk keluarga ini....amin.....

zulkapli said...

D****
Allah beri ujian kepada yang Dia sayang....
I teringat waktu I gunting rambut u kat hostel masa kita form 3, tiga hari u tak tegur I. Actually niat I cuma nak beri u hairstyle baru because I thought u will look nicer. Tak de niat nak khianat.

zulkapli said...

D****
Allah beri ujian kepada yang Dia sayang....
I teringat waktu I gunting rambut u kat hostel masa kita form 3, tiga hari u tak tegur I. Actually niat I cuma nak beri u hairstyle baru because I thought u will look nicer. Tak de niat nak khianat.

ays_as said...

Salam D...

bloghopped from Idham's place..
Saya berdoa agar D sekeluarga diberikan kekuatan dan kesabaran utk menghadapi dugaan ini.. ameen..

Raden Galoh said...

D, like the rest, I pun bloghopped from abg Id's blog...As a cancer survivor, I feel you and what your husband is undergoing...in fact more often than not, byk kali terfikir yg kanser itu mungkin timbul semula...but like you said...Redha itu penting, berlapang dada itu memberi kekuatan mental dan jiwa yang kita tak boleh gambarkan...

Dari jauh ini, I'll pray that Allah mudahkan urusan you and suami serta keluarga...I sungguh kagum dgn kekuatan yang ada dalam diri you...from far, I know you memang seorang cekal...

Take care and remember this (as I always tell myself): Allah uji kita dgn dugaan yg kita mampu pikul...Allah uji kita tanda Dia sayang kita...

Anonymous said...

dearest d,

its me mrs w. i just got the news from our sisters. Ya Allah i am so sorry my dear to learn of the news. i tried smsing but failed, so i thot i send my msg this way. Be strong okay n always remember He only tests us with trials that He knows we can cope with n with these trials we know that He truly loves us. our(mine, hubby, my family back home) prayers r with u n ur family. do take good care of yourself.

Dade Ghost said...

Mrs D sad to hear about your family. Allah knows best. U have to be strong for Mr D and the kids.

Pray that all will turn out the best for your family, insyAllah.

Gee Razali said...

Salam Sis...It's Gee from SMAP Labu(your junior)...BAMZ107 told me about Mr. D...and been reading your entries since beginning of the week...anyways...true what your dad had told you - belief in the divine will...it's ez for people to say but I'm sure Allah has all the reasons for the things that are happening...stay strong, like you are now *hugs* and I'm sure you belief in Allah's miracles too...take care...

Rabbanaa laa tu a khiznaa innasiinaa au akhto’ naa, rabbanaa wa latahmil a’lainaa isrank kama hamaltahuu a’lal lazina minq qablinaa, rabbana wa la tuhammilnaa ma la to qo to lana bih, wa’fu annaa waghfirlanaa warhamnaa, anta maulana fansurnaa alal qaumil kafirin (286: Al Baqarah)
“Our Lord! Punish us not if we forget or fall into error, our Lord! Lay not on us a burden like that which You did lay on those before us; our Lord! Put not on us a burden greater than we have strength to bear. Pardon us and grant us forgiveness. Have mercy on us. You are our Maula’ (Patron, Supporter and Protector) and give us victory over the disbelieving people”

anggerik merah said...

Dear D,

blog hop from Idham's also. I had not been to yr blog for sometime.This morning when I read yr story, I almost could not say and do anything.

I am proud of you for being strong and redha. My heart and thought is always with you. Will dua and pray that Mr. D will recover and may Allah make it easy for Mr D and for you to face this predicament ...also yr children & family.

You take care my dear. Big Hugggg

idham said...

waz here with my prayer....salam from LiL...she reads ur blog daily...and want u to know she feels for u.

idham

Zakiah said...

kak D,

teruskan berdoa. Ajal dan maut di tangan Allah. JAngan putus semangat.

Kak Elle said...

d I am glad that the families are there with you now:)

my feelings and thoughts are there with you .....

take care

Ajzie said...

Betul macam kata Zakiah
Ajal dan maut di tangan Allah swt.

Moga Mr D kembali sihat. Amin.

maklang said...

everytime I read your entries I have tears in my eyes...

May Allah shower your family with His miracles..and my duas for the whole family and Mr D's recovery...

Take care...

kc said...

salam d!

terharu baca posting d kali ni. mcm one blogger tu cakap - ajal & maut di tangan Allah. berusahalah mencari penawar selagi boleh. selepas itu barulah kita bertawakkal kepadaNya. saya doakan semoga d & anak2 diberi kekuatan dlm mengharungi ujian ini dan juga sampaikan salam kpd mr D sesungguhnya dia seorang insan yg sangat tabah. bukan calang2 orang diberi ujian maha hebat ni. hanya yg terpilih sahaja.

UglyButAdorable said...

salam D,

passing through from Kak Elle in SG

I'm at lost of words after reading the pain you're going through.
pepatah melayu ada berkata, berat mata memandang, berat lagi bahu memikul.

I can only hope and wish that you have every inch of strength and love to move ahead on in life.

may Allah bestowed upon you His blessings, guidance and love in facing this moment.

let it be know that you're not alone...*big hug*

Dad of Four said...

D - I just texted you....I just found out today...Do take care and be strong for him! I know it's easier said than done...But I'm glad that both of you are surrounded by loved ones!

Hazia said...

Salam Ramadan.
Blog hop from Kak Elle's.
I've just read your recent entries. Semoga terus tabah, semuanya sudah tertulis.
Cherish the moments you had together and the many more you will have.

elisataufik said...

Mrs D,
Was pointed to your blog by Gee.
I can only offer my heartfelt sympathies.
Enjoy the time you have with your loved ones to it's utmost capacity, I am sure there will be no regrets.
know that even though we are strangers, we are sisters in islam who will reach out and support you if needed. *hugs*

manja_dy said...

asm,

although i dont really
know u or ur family..
i have been reading ur blog
in the office...
and i am trying hard
to hide the tears..

i told my husband...
(ash-bluewonder's brother)....
''i could not imagine
if i were in ur shoes..''
..i don't know if
i will be as strong as u are.

may Allah bless U...

wslm...

MINAH CELOTEH said...

Salam 2 u...

I hv been following your entry even though I have not put up any comments lately....its hard u know, to leave comments when these things happen. Its like there's no right words to say except, our thoughts and doas for you and family.

"jadikanlah sabar dan shalat sebagai penolongmu, sesungguhnya Allah beserta orang orang yang sabar" ~ QS Al Baqarah:153

Kak Teh said...

D, I am so sorry I didn't know until someone told me yesterday. Please be strong and our prayers are with you. Let me know if it is possible to visit.

sYaNa said...

Aslmkm D :o)

My prayers are always with you & your family in your time of need. It's good that your family is surrounded by loving family members & friends. Hold on to their love & strength in facing this trial.

Semoga Allah makbulkan doa2 D & keluarga.

Take care :o)

nkarim said...

Dear Mrs D,

Just got know about MrD from my hubby a few minutes ago.He received a forwarded email from Mr D's ex-staff. Thank goodness he spotted your blog add from the long tails of fwded mails.

Let me introduce myself first, since you may not remember me. My husband, and I were both Mr D's colleague back in PCSB back in 1997. I left in 1999 but my hubby stayed on till late last year. We went to the Langkawi trip together. At that time, your twins were just babies, 6 months old maybe. At that time, my hubby and I were not even seeing each other. We were all in the same department. It was all a long time ago. Your twins are already 10 now huh? Wow, how time flies.

Anyway, we were very surprised to hear about Mr D. Please send our best regards to him, tell him we will be praying for his recovery. Extra prayers for you too. Yeah, you do sound like one tough cookie. Hang in there... gotta be strong for the kids.

Best wishes & Selamat Hari Raya.

Eti and Zakree.
KL.

ruby ahmad said...

Dear D,

I decided to back read your entries. You said, 'self-pity is the poison to mental strength'...you know something, you are made special. In this tested times and yet you have immense faith and inner strength. I am proud of you and many can learn from your good philosophies.

Still praying for Mr D, you and the children, insy for the best outcome.