Tuesday, October 02, 2007

What the oncologist says...

What would you do if you were told that you had only 6 months to live? Or that all they could do is to 'buy time' and nothing more?

Well, the way we have taken it is: the doctor has not had a peek into Lauh Mahfuz, therefore, her estimation is only based on scientific facts. We are not denying the fact that death is just around the corner, but we are not going to surrender without a fight. At least we are going to try. What happens later will be qada' and qadar.

Mr D is at an advanced stage of adenocarcinoma of oesophagus, bone spread. This entails that there are basically two options we can take: to try to 'buy time', or to ease the pain and make him more comfortable for the remaining days. According to the doctor, they cannot cure him from cancer or destroy the cancer cells altogether. All they can do is 'buy time' and the way is through chemotherapy.

However, Mr D is currently not fit to undergo chemo. Hence, these are the actions to be taken on him:
1) To have radiotherapy on his back - only where it hurts, to make him more comfortable. The earliest would be this Thursday.
2) To increase the dose in his medication (for the blood clots) immediately.
3) To put a stent in his oesophagus in order to allow food to flow in, in the hope that the food will make him stronger. They will try to get this done by next week - a long wait for Mr D.

After meeting the oncologist, both of us discussed the options. You see, the relationship that Mr D and I have is ultra special as we tell each other everything. We discuss things openly and hardly ever fight. As long as he is fit to have the chemo, he will have it done, despite the fact that it will be painful and strenuous, or even worst: rejected by his body. And all these treatments will be carried out here, in the UK. Many people have addressed the question: aren't you bringing him home? The answer is, No - a decision we have long settled with. He is unfit to travel. We also don't mind him to be rested here, because it is the same anywhere: we are on the land of the Almighty.

Earlier today, Mr D told me to tell all his friends that he seeks their forgiveness in any of his wrong-doings. Those he knew from school, university, work or coffee shop, or those he knew through me or through other acquaintances; Maaf Zahir & Batin... from the bottom of his big heart.

31 comments:

I am Ann said...

oh dear D don't give up hope just yet. my prayers are with you and your family. i sincerely hope Mr D will recover in due course.

Kak Elle said...

d no words can express my feelings now....my sincere hope is mr d won't suffer much in pain.I've seen many advance stage CA and what its like.

Doc can only estimate but Allah lebih mengetahui ...

Stay strong always d and I'll be with you and family with my doa's.

juwaidah said...

Dear D,
I'm really really sorry to hear this.. Don't loose hope.. Be strong ok? I really want to visit but I have to settle many things before going back to Msia this Saturday. I'll try to come after I get back here. Please send my salam to Mr. D and the kids..

jooli said...

D, take good care of yourself too. Talked with your ex-colleague whose daughter has lymphoma -- currently she's taking 'cell food', after her chemo series. I don't know what it does or its source. It seems it helps.
Keep MrD's spirits up. This would help too, from observing those who have contracted C.
Your blog was the first place I visited this morning. Can I tell 'the rest'at my department to make doa for Mr D?

Love
jooli

Suria Kelang said...

D, jagalah dia sebaik-baiknya. Ada rahmat di balik dugaan. Biar kami yang menangis, u jangan menangis. Jangan abaikan anak-anak juga....

bimmer553 said...

salam D,
if the decision is for palliative treatment, then oesophageal stenting is a good option. but then how effective is chemotherapy for adenocarcinoma ?. anyway, please do take care and salam to Mr D.

mummypage said...

dear kak D,
we're your old collegues from PJ, Mimi and Bai. We just got to know about what's going on with Mr D.
Our love and prayers will always accompany your family. Do be strong for him and your family.
The alMighty knows more about life and death.
Allah tests us often, for every pain He gives us. So whenever we're down or feel that everything is going wrong, it's just Allah's way to make our spirit strong.
Take care....

nikfarizah said...

You're such a strong lady...keep it up! In the meantime, take good care of yourself too...

Anonymous said...

Salam Kak D,
First of all, i've informed everyone that i met at PJ about Mr. D. Hopefully, the more people know, the more prayers will be said. I want you to know that everyone here cares and misses you. Don't give up and always ask from the Almighty. May the Force be with you.
Rinn.

~ iNa ~ said...

Salam Kak D..

I have to confess that as I was reading ur entry I shed some tears. I don't know what I would do if I were at ur place.
The oncologist can only give the estimation but we have to remember above all she is not THE ONE. ALLAH is always there for u. Stay strong Kak D.

Raudah said...

lady D, saya faham situasi ini,saya juga mendapat ujian dari segi penyakit.. itu bahagian masing-masing. Saya pernah terfikir, kalau ini berlaku, masa yang ada ini saya akan minum air zam-zam banyak2 (penawar dari syurga, dari allah untuk kita) dan saya sedaya upaya akan ke Baitullah...Dengan kuasanya, dibumi yang penuh berkat itu doa kita diterima... Kuasa penyembuhan benar-benar dari Allah, kadang-kadang ia tidak dapat dijelaskan secara saintifik.. ada yang sembuh dari kanser di masjidil haram setelah beberapa hari minum air zam-zam sahaja.... Subhanallah

ajzie said...

D please don't loose hope ok. Be strong. In the same time take a good care of yourself too.


P.s
Selalu tgk gambar you and family di Mynn FP. Selalu nmpk ceria dan gembira selalu. Doa saya utk D and family. agar Mr D cepat sembuh. Hanya Allah swt maha mengetahui.

mrsjemain raihan said...

Salaam,

Dear Sis D,

Sorry about the comments that I posted y'day. So ignorant of me. Anyway, please be strong and your other juniors also kirim salam and are praying for your Mr. D. Take care, sis coz we care.

bluewonder said...

salam,

I'm at loss for words. My thots and prayers are for him, u and family.

Remain strong and dont stop praying to ALLAH. Hanya Dia yang mengetahui segalanya.

pls check ur gmail.
take care

luv always

littlemuffins said...

Salam D,

My heart sank reading more news about Mr.D
Hanya Allah Yang Mengetahui.. continue praying to Him.. I agree with you.. it's Qada' and Qadar.

May be you know this already..but I just feel like sharing it here..

Take the advantage of the Ramadhan especially banyakkan berdoa pada waktu2 yg mustajab..

Dari Abdullah bin Amr bin Al-'Ash, Rasulullah SAW bersabda "Sesungguhnya orang yg berpuasa ketika dia berbuka memiliki doa yg tidak akan ditolak" (Riwayat Ibnu Majah, Hakim dan Ibnu Sunni).

The ustaz here always suggests that about 10 minutes before berbuka, kita duduk dan berdoa bersungguh2 sehingga sampai waktu untuk berbuka puasa..

InsyaAllah D.. I pray for you to be strong..

Darling said...

D,

i tak tahu apa perkataan yang sesuai. thou i x nampak x pernah alami tp bila baca ur entry, ada rasa sebak..

be strong d. buat masa ni mr.d sgt2 memerlukan u..

maaf zahir batin juga dari i..

13may said...

Salam Kak D,

semoga tabah...tatau nak cakap apa.

Selamat hari raya, maaf zahir batin...

Anonymous said...

D,

I am lost for words... let me do the crying for you...and stay strong dear friend..

ummu_naqeebah said...

Sister D,
I'm Laily, staying in sheffield. Just knowing you from mki. Hope to see u one day. Allah wants to give you more pahala sabar.
be strong and stay strong!!

Makcik said...

Assm D

Hope Allah give your family strength to face His test...My dua' for you all.

maklang said...

Salam D,

Take care...I know you are going thru a very difficult time at the moment, but never lost hope. InsyaAllah , doa2 D akan termakbul...

hasnan said...

Assm: Take 1 step towards God, God will take 10 steps towards one. Be strong, Mr & Mrs D.

-hasnan (old classmate from SMAWP)

k.d said...

D, sebak hati membacanya. Berat hati kami berat lagi hati you yang mengharungi dugaan ini.

Masya-Allah, kepada Dia sahaja lah kita berdoa dan tawakkal...

You need to be strong; easier said than done but you know that Mr.D and your kids need you most for this trial times.

We all are praying for you, for Him to give you strength for this test..

Zue NZ said...

Salam K Dij,
As I mentioned thru the phone...be and stay strong. They are right, at this point in time youve got to be with him and support him in any manner, not to forget your lovely kids as well. Take good care of yourself too.

Anonymous said...

Fame says through Mr Tompang

Sorry to hear the news our doa and prayers for both of them.
Don't lose hope. Do not lose hope in Allah, for He is the Creator.Do not flee from your trials; patience in adversity is the foundation of all virtue.Patience is two sided:one side is suffering affliction with a cheerful mind,resigning oneself to the Will of The Creator;the other is restraining oneself from things forbidden by the creator.Man is tested according to his level of faith may Allah give them the strength and patience.
Fame

nurazzah8 said...

D, walau tak pernah jumpa D and family, dan tak tahu bgmn rupa D, kita berkenalan melalui blogsphere ini. Selepas membaca n3 D, tanpa akak sedari airmata mengalir laju. Tabahkan hati dik, doa dari akak utk Mr D & D serta anak2.

ZLAA said...

Salam D,

Muga D tabah. Semua ketentuan Allah jua. Doa kami semua semuga Mr D diberi kesihatan yang baik.

idham said...

D....i wish i am stronger to sasy words of comfort to you and Mr D...instead, airmata yang keluar.
sebak...
namun, i salute you and Mr D for your joint strength....and your complete surrender to Him, Ya Rabbul Aalameen...

I will do a solat hajat especially for you both...asking God to lighten his pain..and seeking for miracles....please let this be one of them.

I also wish I have a way of contacting you.....

May God bless...

Arif @ idham

idham said...

D...i scrolled down...and have got ur number....will be contacting u soon.

i just came bck from a busines trip to tehran...so sorry did not read earlier....

terkilan sungguh...sbb lambat tahu.

idham

Atfan SMAWP 82-86 said...

Be strong...I failed to find appropriate words to describe how I feel. My doa is alway with Hazli and your family too. It's never going to be easy but never lose hope. Allah will always be there for you.

Anonymous said...

I am glad your family came over. Your post today is full of spirits of a fighting cookie! I don't expect a reply. Know that we are all here for you, ok.

love and hugs,
aidamarie.