Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Last Sunday, I had guests. Well, okay, I now have guests almost everyday, since Mr D came back from the hospital. However, what made the guests on Sunday a little bit different was that they're my relatives and they had just arrived from Malaysia.

Abang Y is my second cousin but he can easily pass as my dad. Yes, he's about two and a half decades older than me. He calls my dad (who's probably about a decade older than him) "Pak Teh", hence I call him the 'Abang' title.

Naturally, Abang Y's children are of my age (and younger). The eldest, N, who is now in London (have settled down there), is 3 years older than I am. Her second daughter is my age - my friend. We have always called each other by name, ergo, nothing's a big deal here.

But now, N has a daughter who's about my children's ages. And I am now considered a grandma to her. Euuucchhhh!!!!! The dad actually referred me as the 'Wan', and I just couldn't believe my ears. Is this for real? Am I in denial? Why does it all sound so bad? Oh dear... I never really thought that I'd be like this. After all, I am only "half-past thirty" (borrowing a dear friend's words). Can't she just call me Mak Su, like my other nieces and nephews, or Aunty, like my friends' children?

So, okay, I am now a granny. I've been playing around with the options: Wan, Nenek, Opah (Mr D suggested this - No Way!!), Wan Su, Nek Su, Granny, Nanny .. HaHaHa. Nope, if I'm getting a grandmother title, I'm doing it the Malay way. I'm not going to be a nanny (translated: trained person to look after children). Hence, the quest begins... for the most suitable title to carry; not very glamorous yet containing enough charm. Errr, what charm can a grandmother possibly have? *sigh*

Now, the biggest joke is my kids have suddenly discovered that they are Uncles and Aunt!! My Little D can't help laughing away to think that he's Uncle Dean now. No, they get to be children and omit the titles.
What do you think? Are titles important, or should we just call each other by name, just like the Mat Saleh?


Darling said...

bab title ni i tak berapa arif. i pun dah ada cucu belah my dad.. geez... i selamba je suruh panggei auntie.. iskh tak boleh bayang i yg belum kawin ni dipanggil nenek, tuanya rasa :)

pendapat i, panggilan tu hanya panggilan. yang penting rasa hormat.. tp rasanya yg typical malay thinking tak boleh terima pendapat mcm ni kut.

pernah 1 time i pergi kenduri belah my dad, i panggil 1 bro tu 'abang'. sedangkan kalau ikut pangkat (apa istilah ntah) dia yang kena panggil i auntie. teruk i kena gelakkan masa tu dengan sedara mara. ampes betul.

k.d said...

Granny D
Darling is right...title is just a title, it's the respect that's important.

Apa salah nye granny sedara sekarang...soon enough granny betul lah! LOL

bluewonder said...

I believe that titles help to remind us who we're dealing with. Esp important if dealing with the elders..tanda hormat kita pd org tu. Being Malay one cant help addressing others who are older as abg this or kak that..(usually utk yg melayu laa)sometimes I get carried away and have been known to address my Chinese / Indian colleagues as Kak Teh and Kak Susi..hehee..and they find it very amusing indeed.

But if ur very familiar with a person, no need for titles and just address the person by name..biasalah kan!

B.A.M.Z.1.0.7. said...

My cousins who is still in sek keb loves the idea bila dpt pangkat uncle/aunty. My kids call them ami or bibi or nda. Yang mana sebaya my kids just panggil nama aja. My aunty however tak suka dgn gelaran granny/nenek/tok so she came up with the most 'glamorous' name for the pangkat, NENDA. hehehe
Actually tak kisah la apa title pun. Janji we have respect to that person.

p/s - My SIL is 6 yrs younger and I get to call her KAK. ;) hehehe

Kak Elle said...

d I am proud to say I am nenek to my nephews and nieces children ... haha....nenek groovy and nenek cun tau....hahaha

Nat ikut mat salleh panggil nama tu bolih but then kemana nak tinggalkan adat tu?I think the respect should still be there.My nephews 3 children a pair of twins 4yrs and their sister 2 yrs call me grandma!!

D said...

auntie darling,
haHa!!! Single and mengancam lagik, tapi dah jadik nenek... Go Darling go!

Granny kd,
I think it's scarier when you get the title from distant relatives. Still, what's in a name, eh?? (as IF!)

Nenda BAMZ107,
I like that! NENDA. Original yet glamorous in its own way, though my personality might not fit that title - macam mulia jek! HaHa..

ps: kesian SIL you tu... you panggil dia KAK, dia panggil you by name je ke?

grandma elle,
oooo... well done! You're right - this is where we can retain a little bit of our knowledge regarding family ties and values. Go groovy granny, go!

Mami Dini said...

ermmm its a matter of respect and its a matter whos calling us with that myself annoyed with the title from a distant relative who keep calling me nenek....very subjective ...but its up to u or u may be forced to accept it...hehehehe

pakcikjam said...

hehee, Lady D
...the good thing is that, your kids will be more 'responsible' coz they are now 'uncles' and 'aunties'...
....and u can become Opah D
.....sorry aa.....
and I'm always a 'pakcik', with more than 20 nieces and nephews....

Rd said...

In my husband's side, my husband is already called tok even he's only in his 20s that time. When I get married to him, I was called Opah which initially made me cringe!!! coz I was only mid 20s that time. Haha!!

Hehe, we are now not even half past thirty (hehe)BUT there are at least 4 kids whom I know would call us tok *** and opah****.
But these kids couldn't be bothered to call Inas & Umar aunt & uncle..

Now, dah tak kisah pun.. lagi pun I seldom meet them. May be paling byk 1,2 kali in one year..

Have fun adjusting to your sort of "grannyhood" Hehe

cikdinz said...

nenek rupanya...heheheee....
best kan.

Nenek Su Rad said...

Syukur your hubby are no longer warded -but naper ye? I mean sakit apa.

As for the 'nenekship', you should be proud of it. Just humour them...after all it helps to trace our lineage/family tree especially for the younger generation. As long as it stays in the family only - imagine muda2 kena panggil nenek in public? heheheh...

Mama Sarah said...

i like ninda too. I still use the title ayahnda/bonda/ninda when i write to them. haha sounds funny pulak.

anyway - my late grandma would insist us to use the proper titles.

but why am i not calling your rightful title (ehem*kak*ehem) i don't know?

Dad of Four said...

My friends who actually had their first born when their parents' neighbours (whom my friends called aunts and uncles) were in their early 40s..Naturally, they were in denial that they were then, pangkat atok and nenek at such young age....To make it sound glamourous...ade yang bahasa kan diri Tok girl, Granny,Nan sthg sthg etc..and they came up with hilarious gelaran to make sure they didn't sound old. And the gelaran stick till today. And now that boy just registered first year Univ.

Anyway, regardless of gelaran, who cares so long as one is young at heart.LOL!

D said...

mami dini,
no, am not annoyed, just takes a little while adjusting..LOL

oh, I have no worries about being a 'makcik'. Had the title Mak Su when I was 12. I now have... 29 nieces & nephews, and the eldest got married last year. Just never really thought of the title actually.

so you're telling me, the secret is to meet less then? HaHa.. Okay Opah rd. Roger that!

tu lah, sebab semua ni distant relatives, pelik la sikit.

nenek su rad,
ha, nak tau more about Mr D's penyakit tu, kena backtrack to previous post. HeHe... Thanks for the good words and prayers.

sometimes without titles (such as kakak), I believe, people warm up easier, don't you think? I noticed with some of my ex-colleagues who never bothered with titles of 'kak', we bonded immediately. Guess it's subjective too, eh?

dad of four,
young at heart? Oh, no question to that!

13may said...

panggil toknek D....hehhe

Kaklong said...


hehee..pndpt saya pula, elok gak kita tau kedudukan /rangking kita ni di kalangan sedara mara samada pgkat sepupu, dua pupu,cicit, piut, nenek, moyang :D, sbb nak tau kita ni generasi keberapa..mmg orang melayu kita pentingkan pangkat2 ni apatah lagi panggilan tu sbg tanda hormat..

tp mmg lawak dan janggal la bila kita umur muda, tup2 dpt title opah hehe..x mo panggil ikut pangkat kita tak pe, tp yg penting kita tau kedudukan kita tu kat mana, pada saya ia sesuatu yang menarik..:D

ruby ahmad said...

Hi D,

I can understand your feelings..ha ha. My friend would tell me, I'm used to being called Kak by shop assisstants before as they are trained to call us Kak or Puan. Nowadays, girls are in their teens and now she gets annoyed being called Aunty, aduh...hilang glamer she said..he he. I think they should stick to Kak or Puan lah kan? Ha ha.

Btw, apa dia nama glamer nenek/opah kan?

idham said...

:) Semoga ninda di sana sehat2 selalu...apa khabar dengan ninda lelaki yang baru keluar hospital..semoga sudah recover lah ye...

ninda yang di ingati ...

hingga di sini dulu dari kami...cucu2 ninda semalaysia...:)