Wednesday, February 04, 2009

Fun For Fathers Evening II

Last week
The story-telling session had just ended and Mrs M was distributing a leaflet about the next Fun For Fathers event and was encouraging all to come.

From the back of the room (parents are involved) I heard Little D ask, Can I come with my mom?

Oh, yes, of course, D. You can come with your dad, uncle, granddad, brother, uncle or even your mom.

Little D hurried over to me, with a worried look in his eyes. Can I go next week? Mrs M says I can come with you!

I smiled and nodded.


Little D had his schedule full today. After school, he had his dance club. Then, approximately an hour later, he went for his kelas mengaji. I asked to be excused early so that he could attend the FFF thingy. The older kids asked a million questions and offered statements including this: But you can't go, Mama!

I assured them that Little D had asked the teacher himself and all will be fine; provided the boys came with us because they were, after all, Little D's male carers.

Off we marched in the dark (it started at 6pm) and upon arrival at the school gates, I buzzed on the intercom (gates were all locked and they had cameras on the intercom as well). When I heard a lady's voice asking about us, I said that we were there for the Fun for Fathers evening. This is what I got:

I'm sorry but it's only for fathers.

Dang! My voice must have sounded feminine or was it my scarf that gave away the secret? My head went blank for a second, but managed to answer,

Er.. but we don't have a father! I could feel the heat rise in my face - of insult, humiliation and anger.

Oh, is that Z and H's mom?

Imagine the agony of being recognised as the forlorn widow who is perhaps the talk of the school. Nonetheless, I hissed, Yesssss....

Okay, come on in!

Thank you! I shouted through the intercom.

And the gate buzzed open while we sneaked in.

At the front door, the Head Teacher greeted us - the same woman who helped us and also made my life more difficult and miserable on a few occasions.

In the hall, it was awkward when eyes stung into you. I noticed a few more civilised parents being polite by not looking into our direction. Correction - MY direction. There was, however, an annoying man who was probably wondering why we didn't have an adult man with us. That was acceptable, but oh boy, he sure didn't know how much I felt like going up to him and poking his eyeballs out!! Hehehe...

All in all, Little D enjoyed the evening so much as Abang H and Z built him a super cool wooden boat with sails. Mind you, no dads or granddads were as creative as those 11-year olds! Little D also had his sister make him a puppet, and his mom to make him a mask.

In retrospect, however, I hope that was the last FFF evening the school is having for the year! (though I sense there'll be another one next term)


Anonymous said...

Salam d,
I love ur new pix - the kids look so relax & whatever...hehehe
You did a good job wrt the FFF thing - life is however we make it to be...

Anonymous said...

salam D,

sabar jer la bnyk2...sometimes, at most of d times actually we dont mind putting in ourself in those occassion for the sake of anak2 tapi the society yg wat kita feel one kind especially with thier jeling2 juling look.....btw, i really hope u can poke their eyes next time when they stare at u.....heheeh...kidding..tke care sis...

-kak izan-

Raden Galoh said...

It's a challenge for you there, I'm sad to note it's like that, I mean the empathy is somewhat missing... and the perception is somewhat torturing.

But I know, you are a strong woman, stride with pride you've done great so far.

Green is my fav colour so coming here I love most!

Take care and hugs.

KC lah who else said...

and i was surprised such ignorant words coming out from omputeh who are supposed to be liberal in everything. people can be very vile sometimes when they do not understand the situation. here no different as well..

just take it easy!

oh btw, you have just been tagged by moi. check it out

sherry said...

Salam Persaudaraan.

Izinkan saya to link ur blog.

Anonymous said...

Dear D

I really admire your strength and courage. Keep it up!

-kak min-

anggerik merah said...

Dear D,

I am inagining all the fun that little D had with his two brothers.

You take care!

F Manchester said...

Ok... I really don't get this FFF night your school has and the exclusion to many parts of its own society it imposes. Kelakar pulak you being stared at when you entered the room, macam rasa when we go to a kenduri back home and accidently entered the male portion of the divide... itu pun tak kena stare jugak tak nye, am I right? And they have the nerve to say that our society is backwards...

But truthfuly, I think the real reason why they stared at you was because they thought you were Kate Winslet and thought 'Apa Kate buat kat sini dan bila pulak kate ni bertudung?'.

myheartbleeds said...

Kudos!! Clap clap to mommy for being so brave!! I would just chicken out. My workplace's Family Day last year pun I tak pegi coz I felt like I didn't have my whole family with me.

You're doing great, dear. And it warms my heart that Little D and Princess have such caring male carers ;-) Bravo to all of you!!

maklang said...

kena banyak bersabar D...Moga semua senang untuk diharungi...

Tapi little D enjoyed himself kan...

Teke care!

melatiblossoms said...

Salam Kak D,

Alhamdulillah, you've done it bravely for your kids, they will surely appreciate it so much, and you will be remembered so fondly, when they start talking about "did you remember when we were in England.....?" things in the future....

melayudilondon said...

Salam D

I've been reading your blog for the longest time tapi segan nak letak comment. I've read the early FFF posting and felt your pain. You are indeed a strong woman!

I am sure you do know why they are holding such events.

As always the burden of chidcare is highly biased towards the mum. Homework, school syllabus, activities, uniforms - all under mum's care. I suppose they hold these events to incorporate the male father figure (for want of a better word) to balance the bias somewhat.

Please take heart that these events are not meant to alienate anyone. It's just that in UK nowadays, there is not a strong male figure in many boys' lives to act as a guide. I've done a little work on education improvement methodologies and that is cited as a factor for the decline in boys' scholastic achievements in the UK.

Sorry, kalau i ni long winded. What I just wanted to say that they organise these events with the best intentions. And they do understand there are exceptional circumstances. The fact that the head teacher greeted you at the door is an indication.

Little D and all his abangs had a great time and I'll bet that somehow made you feel better.

Perhaps Lil' D should go with his abangs only the next time, while you and kakak have 'Me and Mummy time'?

melayudilondon said...

I minta maaf if I offend you or anyone else in the earlier comment. Heh! I ni nak console you tapi mungkin it come off wrong :)

Madam Markonah said...

Sounds to me like it had been a successful day :-)

n.i. said...

Sis D,
and i thought mat sallehs are the open (minded) lots... this proved them otherwise...

anyway, kudos to u :-) i'm sure little D (and the others) enjoyed the session very much :-)

Ms B said...


Ur kids are definitely creative! err, can I use their service whenever my girl has to do her artwork? I fail big time in that area! *LOL*

ps: back in London. client decided to close the office due to heavy snow.

ummi said...

Kak D, Pelik jugak kan. Selama I was here masa budak2 dok sekolah dulu kat Coventry tak pernah ada fun fathers. Kalau ada, mana la jamal dapat pi. Rasanya jamal hantaq budak ke sekolah pun tak sampai 10 sekali sepanjang sabeera kat primary school.

Can't really believe ada mat salleh yg cam tu. Rasa geramnya baca..!