Friday, October 17, 2008


No tahlils.
Just a request for a piece of Al-fatihah for the prophet Muhammad (pbuh), his companions, all Muslims, including our family members and to add to that, also for my late husband, Hazlishah Abdul Hamid.

Today marks one hijrah year of the demise of my soul mate, my everything...

To dwell in forlorn I shall not, but to be reminded of how fragile and temporary life is - I shall continue, as it is what keeps me prepared for the hereafter. Every single experience, be it black, white, or shades of grey, will be compiled and loosely kept safely in the attic of my mind. The back-up (my memory may probably not exceed 4GB - *chuckle!) will be of photos, letters, cards, memorabilia, and of course, the most obvious of all - the evidence of his DNA in the progeny that I have been blessed with!
As I sit reminiscing the wonderful things he did to me, and with me, I know that these are the tales I have to share with my children, because I would surely love them to grow up embracing the good qualities and traits of their dad. Already, I can see Abang Z very much like his father - responsible and a clean-freak (does a great job vacuuming!) while Abang H: the handyman in the house. Even when their daddy was still around, Princess has always associated herself with her daddy: "I am daddy's child because I have his blood(B+), while the rest of you have mommy's blood (O) - you're all mommy's children!" (she had to undergo a blood transfusion procedure on her third day alive as her blood was incompatible to mine). And yes, it was as simple as that. There are other insignificant yet ironically eminent features each of us still hold on to, such as daddy's likes and dislikes ( "I love eating bananas and so did daddy" ). They bicker and challenge one another to see who is more similar to their dad. And I think it is a brilliant way of remembering their dad's character.

At times, Little D does find himself a bit lost as he didn't quite have his dad around as long as the others did. More so, his young memory often fails him. Hence, you'd often more than not get him cajoling, "Did daddy use to like this, like me?"

If I should pray and seek His guidance,
"Give me O the Lord who generously gives, of Knowledge and Hikmah,
bless me the rezki O the Lord who is generous with His rezki, ease it for me",

then I will use the knowledge He has bestowed me with, to endeavour a life as a Muslimah, following the true Deen.

Yup, we are catapulting into the future by using the wonderful and blessful life we once shared together. There used to be 6 but now we're one short (yet we're still walking tall), as the Malay rhyme/song of Sepuluh Budak Hitam (Ten black boys -err, and we're not being racist here!) goes:

Enam budak hitam makan buah delima,
Satu tertelan biji, tinggal lagi lima.

(Six black boys ate some pomegranates,

One choked on the seed, and then five were left.)

Ponder upon the message behind the song: no matter how many we start off with, each of us will return to our Creator one day (Oh, Little D asked me earlier today why he had only 3 siblings. I asked him how many he wanted there to be and he said: A HUNDRED! Impossible mate, sheer impossible!!).

As I was saying, Al-fatihah...


rad said...


And lotsa huggies for you & kids.

Anonymous said...


Al Fatihah.
May ALLAH SWT be with you always.

p/s r u FT's sis? If u r,then we met last 2 mths when i went to visit her.

kay_leeda said...


Be strong you must. InshaAllah, in HIM we have faith in guiding and providing us the strength to keep moving on.

Take care :)

Queen Of The House said...

Al Fatihah ....
May your whole family be in His safekeeping always, D.

Kak Elle said...

Al fathiha semoga u and children di lindungi olih NYA selalu.

cikMilah said...

semuga D dan anak-anak berada dalam perlindungan Allah. Semuga semua urusan di permudahkan...Amin

wanshana said...


May Allah SWT keep you and anak-anak in his care always.

Roti Kacang Merah said...


sekejapnya masa berlalu, ya Dijjie.... *hugs*

Kak Teh said...

Di, Al Fatehah.

Ms B said...


A hundred?? *rolling eyes* get him one of those mini soldiers. *winks*

Here's one big hug to you.

ps: I'd do the same, a low key affair is always preferred.

Count Byron said...

You are an examplary wife and mom, D. May you be blessed always. Those tender moments you shared together will always be the beacon to keep u up and running, and to love your children more.
My children too bicker and quarrel, in the 'most civil manner', "Dad loves me more!" and each squeezed so much closed to Dad, making him difficult to breathe.
Whenever you remember him, keep sending him Al Fatihah, or Qul Huwa Lllah.

Salam hormat dari CB & CsB

Raden Galoh said...

Darling sister Dijjie...

A year already? Time flies so fast ya... I read this entry with tears in my eyes. You know, you are always in my prayers sis.

Alfatihah for arwah.

Lots of love from Banting.

NJ said...

Dear D,

Alfatihah to your late soul-mate dear. May He bless you with eternal happiness now and in future…


bimmer553 said...

cepatnya masa berlalu . Al-Fatihah

zany said...

Al Fatihah kak, moga akak sekeluarga semakin ceria dan bersemangat menempuh hari esok.

ande ande lumut said...

My prayers are always with you, sis. May His wisdom, grace and love be with you always. As sad as we may be, pls remember bagi setiap nikmat, setiap rasa kasih, setiap rasa rindu, setiap rasa sedih, rasa benci, rasa gentar, disitulah KasihNya. Wasalam

maklang said...

AL Fatihah...

Take care...belum claim lagi hadiah dari Wan...Buku Don't be sad tu ada sekali ke?

Teringat masa ke Mesra Mall ari tu...nampak buku tu. Ada ingat D kata ada one for me?? Or was it only a dream??

myheartbleeds said...

Al-Fatehah. Not just today, but everyday, insya-Allah.

Hugs to the five budak2 hitam ;-D

zai said...


I'm ur silence reader and wanted to dedicate this song(that i always listen whenever i feel down) to u by Cristina Aguilera: I will be..

The world seems so cold
When I face so much all alone
A little scared to move on
And knowing how fast I have grown

And I wonder just where I fit in
Hold a vision of life in my head
Oh yes

I will be
Strong on my own
I will see through the rain
I will find my way
I will keep on
Traveling this road
Till I finally reach my dream
Till I'm living, and I'm breathing
My destiny, yeah yeah

I can't let go now
Even when darkness surrounds
But if I hold on, yeah
I will show the world
All the things that you never expected to see
From little old me, this pittsburgh girl

And I wonder just where my place is
Close my eyes and I remind myself this
Oh yeah yeah

I will be
Strong on my own
I will see through the rain
I will find my way
I will keep on
Traveling this road
Till I finally reach my dream
Till I'm living, and I'm breathing
My destiny, ohh

It comforts me
Ooh it keeps me
Alive each day of my life
Always guiding me
Providing me
With the hope I desperately need

Well I gotta believe
There's something out there meant for me
Oh I get on my knees
Praying I will receive
The courage to grow and the faith to know

That I will be
Strong on my own
I will see through the rain
I will find my way
I will keep on
Traveling this road
Till I finally reach my dream
Till I'm living, and I'm breathing
My destiny..

Umi Kalthum Ngah said...



You and your entire family are and have always been in my prayers...Insya Allah...


Helena said...

Al Fatihah. May God Bless you and your children.

A Touching entry. Sebak Helena baca.

Take care dear.

MULAN said...

al fatihah... be strong & take care sis...

PENDEKAR said...


al Fatihah

Sabar dan kuatkan kesabaran....


Lollies said...


A wonderful piece. menginsafkan and yet bring smile to my lips.

Al fatehah. May Allah place him in Jannah along with the pious.

aNIe said...

Salam D...

AlFatihah buat yang telah pergi semoga rohnya dicucuri rahmat...

Kini tinggal d bersama 'harta' yang ditinggalkan...'Harta' yang terlalu berharga...maka jagalah mereka sebaik mungkin...Insyaallah mereka akan membesar menjadi anak2 yang membanggakan ibu & arwah bapa mereka...kerana mereka dididik oleh ibu mereka yang begitu kuat semangatnya...

Tabahkan hati d dalam melalui segala onak dan duri dalam kehidupan...

nae said...

Al-Fatihah. May you and the children remain strong

mad redo1 said...

may he be placed among the pious and the forgiven... may we all too be there with him, one day... insha-Allah.

silversarina said...


Al Fatihah .

Sesungguhnya segala apa yang ada hanya sementara.

Take care !!

VersedAnggerik said...


Semoga roh arwah dicucuri rahmat Allah.

cikdinz said...


Fakhzan Marwan said...


I've just come accross your wonderful blog, and may i link it through mine? are indeed, a strong strong sis..and dont worry too much...bukan kah Allah itu Maha Melindungi...:D

take care