Al-fatihah

No tahlils.

Just a request for a piece of Al-fatihah for the prophet Muhammad (pbuh), his companions, all Muslims, including our family members and to add to that, also for my late husband, Hazlishah Abdul Hamid.

Today marks one hijrah year of the demise of my soul mate, my everything...

To dwell in forlorn I shall not, but to be reminded of how fragile and temporary life is - I shall continue, as it is what keeps me prepared for the hereafter. Every single experience, be it black, white, or shades of grey, will be compiled and loosely kept safely in the attic of my mind. The back-up (my memory may probably not exceed 4GB - *chuckle!) will be of photos, letters, cards, memorabilia, and of course, the most obvious of all - the evidence of his DNA in the progeny that I have been blessed with!

As I sit reminiscing the wonderful things he did to me, and with me, I know that these are the tales I have to share with my children, because I would surely love them to grow up embracing the good qualities and traits of their dad. Already, I can see Abang Z very much like his father - responsible and a clean-freak (does a great job vacuuming!) while Abang H: the handyman in the house. Even when their daddy was still around, Princess has always associated herself with her daddy: "I am daddy's child because I have his blood(B+), while the rest of you have mommy's blood (O) - you're all mommy's children!" (she had to undergo a blood transfusion procedure on her third day alive as her blood was incompatible to mine). And yes, it was as simple as that. There are other insignificant yet ironically eminent features each of us still hold on to, such as daddy's likes and dislikes ( "I love eating bananas and so did daddy" ). They bicker and challenge one another to see who is more similar to their dad. And I think it is a brilliant way of remembering their dad's character.

At times, Little D does find himself a bit lost as he didn't quite have his dad around as long as the others did. More so, his young memory often fails him. Hence, you'd often more than not get him cajoling, "Did daddy use to like this, like me?"

If I should pray and seek His guidance,

"Give me O the Lord who generously gives, of Knowledge and Hikmah,

bless me the rezki O the Lord who is generous with His rezki, ease it for me",

then I will use the knowledge He has bestowed me with, to endeavour a life as a Muslimah, following the true Deen.

Yup, we are catapulting into the future by using the wonderful and blessful life we once shared together. There used to be 6 but now we're one short (yet we're still walking tall), as the Malay rhyme/song of Sepuluh Budak Hitam (Ten black boys -err, and we're not being racist here!) goes:

Enam budak hitam makan buah delima,
Satu tertelan biji, tinggal lagi lima.

(Six black boys ate some pomegranates,

One choked on the seed, and then five were left.)

Ponder upon the message behind the song: no matter how many we start off with, each of us will return to our Creator one day (Oh, Little D asked me earlier today why he had only 3 siblings. I asked him how many he wanted there to be and he said: A HUNDRED! Impossible mate, sheer impossible!!).

As I was saying, Al-fatihah...