Redha and Tawakkal

Many, many years ago, while in secondary school, I remember being told that we must always feel that Allah loves us for if we don’t, then He will not. By feeling loved, we also inculcate a feeling of gratitude and appreciation towards Him. Alhamdulillah, whoever was the person who told me that, did a wonderful job because I have been holding on to it till this very day.

It has been two weeks since we’ve been home and I've been running around doing what I came back for. Tiring, but fulfilling, Alhamdulillah. Being home has allowed me to spend valuable time doing what I like most – reading. Among the 8 books I have read, two are my favourite; simply because the contents are so close to what I personally feel and have experienced, though not entirely the same.

The first book I’m going to write about is Professor Mohd Kamil Ibrahim’s (mki) Travelog Haji.

It’s a book I’ve been wanting to read since he had it released last year. Obviously, being a fellow blogger, I knew about the arrival of the book. I requested the book through a few people, to have it sent to me in England, but it never found its way. Finally, last week, I managed to get hold of a copy (the last on the stand). I quickly got myself into it – engrossed and so absorbed by the sheer honesty portrayed by the author. Many times did I find my tears flowing down my cheek, and my heart throbbing. Again, it strengthened my confidence that Allah chooses those He wants to shower his blessings and rahmah; only when sincerity of the heart and devotion from the soul exists.

Before I finished reading mki’s book, I found another book, or booklet, in the magazine basket in my room. I was perplexed to find the book there as I couldn’t recall reading it before. The book was entitled Facing Death: A Testimony of a Muslim stricken with Metastatic Cancer. I don’t know how oblivious and ignorant I was before, or even how insensitive I was before, as obviously, being given the book probably by my dad, I didn’t do anything more than just skim through the book (if not just chucking it away). Only today, after the loss of my dear husband, am I more sensitive to people with cancer, and to the issue of death and preparations towards it. How arrogant can one be?

The writings of K, the author who insists that he remains anonymous (though not very anonymous to me since he was a family friend), were very familiar to what I felt and am still feeling. A theme, which is repeated in his writings, is the concept of Redha and Tawakkal to Allah swt – ie: true acceptance and total surrendering or submission to Allah. Subhanallah! When my late husband was diagnosed with cancer, I remember my dad counseling me on the phone - to accept whole-heartedly (redha) with what Allah had decided on, regardless what. And ever since, I’ve been doing just that.

It’s true, as Brother K wrote, when one employs the concept of redha and tawakkal to Allah, he will never feel angry or frustrated at anything or anyone. Recently, I was again tested with some life issues and before I brought myself to feel angry to the person deemed responsible, I was overpowered by the feelings of redha and tawakkal. And I let go. Slightly more than a decade ago, I learnt the concept of letting go from a dear friend-cum-room-mate, Bluewonder. Her nonchalant and easy-going personality taught me to move on, despite whatever shortcomings that came in the way. She was (and still is) the coolest person I've ever met - hardly ever upset over anything at all! Previously, I was more of a hotheaded young lady who often questioned and scrutinized the causes to every problem. But today, I understand that redha and tawakkal moves you forward. Thus, I am moving on.

I extend my appreciation to the Almighty for blessing me with his Rahmah, and through His test of taking away my late husband, He has actually strengthened my faith in Him, InsyaAllah. I have finally registered to perform my Hajj, and with His invitation, my time will soon come.

** Those interested in getting a copy of Facing Death can leave me a note because the book is for free distribution.

***A zillion apologies to fellow bloggers because of late I have not been able to blog-hop!