Monday, January 28, 2008

So sorry pals...

So very sorry to cause such a stir back there. Ha Ha Ha! No, people, D is not going to stop blogging. Not yet, anyway!! Pause to reflect has definitely NOT met its end yet.

Perhaps what I wrote was more true of what I felt approximately two months ago. But I have gone beyond that; I have decided that I will go on blogging as long as I have the time and a topic to write about.

However, the reactions of fellow bloggers and silent readers are all very interesting indeed. Now, how do respond to the phone calls and texted messages? How do I explain myself?

Let me respond to the overall comments that came in my last post.

Firstly, I write because I want to write, and I like to write. I love expressing myself using words - written or typed. I have done this through journals, letters, emails, stories, blogs, etc. Now, one can never deny that when you write, you write for an audience. Writing is a mode of communication, and it is important for the writer to always keep the reader in mind. It keeps you focussed. Therefore, when one writes in a blog, and sets it for the whole world to read, the writer has already decided that the blog would be read by the world, normally with a particular group in mind. So, please get this clear: of course I write for myself - no doubt about it, but I also have my audience to think about. I never write simply to please the audience. I do things Lillahita'ala, so I'm fine in this area, don't you fret.
Secondly, when one writes with an audience in mind, he or she would have to be prepared with the consequences of his/her writing and accept all comments given. I do that. Few have been unpleasant, few disrespectful, but I'm done with deleting comments (think I only deleted 3 because they put my name up before I put my picture on the blog for the first time). It's a free world. What's much bettter is, the amount of nice words left in the comment space - more warmth than the freezing cold! So, there goes - I don't care about what people say.
Having said this, however, I cannot deny that writing this blog has changed my world in so many ways. Some may think it's as easy as switching the lights off. Turning a blind eye, waving a goodbye. But no, somehow, my blog started with 0 audience, to about 30 average. Then, it has now gone to hundreds, a bit intriguing that most are silent readers. Flattered I am, but isn't that also spooky? No, some of you don't know this, and cannot imagine this. So, spend some time to reflect on this: you are no longer anonymous and more people who know you are reading your rantings, or reflections. Don't you get a little conscious that you might hurt a certain someone, or provoke certain reactions? I mean, you don't go around telling everyone everything, do you?
Let me also set this clear. I avoided writing depressing entries because I didn't want to feel depressed, and fall deep into the pit again and again. Yes, I am still in bereavement, in 'Iddah - I can still grieve. But please imagine how it is living your days as the 'everything' to your 4 children in a land far, far away. I have friends and relatives, yes. But I still bear everything on my own. I have been like a yoyo - going through life with feelings going up and down. At times, I get tangled in between while at other times, I can 'walk the dog', and enjoy the stroll. It's part of the process. I'm done with going to the doctor's for a sick-note. I decided not to write depressing entries because I hated it when someone comes to say some encouraging words which I already know very well. Instead, my therapy was (and still is) to turn to good friends back home and chat online with them. Thank you peeps!
I have no problem with sharing because I am an educator. I love sharing experiences with others, and am happy if it does help someone somehow. So, I am going on writing here, in this humble blog of mine. Yes, some friends who hang around the same spot as I do (Halwafy, hehe..?), would have known even before I wrote this posting that you have not heard the last of me. There's a book (okay, books actually) in mind now and hopefully with some help from dear ones, I'd get these published soon!(haha - the book I wanted to write last year has gone down the drain since the turn of events: sorry Prof!).
So, thank you for all your support and kind words. This blog will continue with its business as usual. Will try to blog-hop as frequently as before, so my apologies if I have not been that active recently.

24 comments:

littlemuffins said...

Salam D,

Have been trying to catch up with your previous entries...
I got back on the 1st and only get connected 2 weeks ago!
Happy to hear that you are continue writing..
Take care..

maklang said...

Nasib baik...kalau tak kang...nangis maklang

Raden Galoh said...

Dear D...

Salam sis. Glad that you have so many reasons and aims in your writing mission. Double glad that you are still willing to share your thoughts with us, here in blog.

Keep well and take care.

Kak Elle said...

yeah ada tempat nak membaca lagi:)
keep on writing d...

idham said...

:-) AM JUST HAPPY ..to read YOUR spritied entry!
I have given up trying to give up!


iDHAM

Finie said...

Assalamualaikum Kak D,

Sebab dah jadi full time housewife..so nak cubalah set up blog. Sambil-sambil sibuk kat dapur. Kenalah belajar menulis dari Kak D..

NJ said...

That's my girl :D

anggerik merah said...

D,

I like what you had writen..

Looking forward to read your to be published book. Insyaallah.

elara said...

Hiya,

You have certainly made your mark in the blogsophere having hundreds of avid readers. I can see that writing is your forte and i am sure you can earn loads from it should you decide to publish books. Being a single parent is very taxing I am sure, let alone a student at the same time and it crosses my mind at times how would my other half survive without me around like running errands and all (vice versa). Being raised by a single parent mom myself it was a tough life but we managed and she still is till today. Wonder if i would ever get mentioned in passing in the first published book..hehehe

NUR said...

What a relief!!!D rocks!!!

silversarina said...

I'll be right here waiting for you .... way to go D :)

theconfused said...

heheh.. keep on writing. I'm content to know that... ada lagik tmpt nak blog hopping!!!

juwaidah said...

:)

Glad that you'll continue blogging!

cikdinz said...

mcm ni lah kak D.

cikMilah said...

Hah.. cik D, suspen akak!

Zawi said...

D,
Alhamdulillah. Allah's great gift to you with the flair of writing will not be wasted afterall.

putrajaya99 said...

Dear D,

Glad to hear you're doing ok & is continuing the blog.. am an old friend of Arwah & been one silent reader ever since coming back from London (Aug '07)..

Praying that you & family are well, sihat walafiat selalu.

Anonymous said...

Salam D,

Another silent reader pop-up here, keep on writing..always like the way u address yr mind, yr thot...

take care..

x-smawipians 86'

simah said...

blogging is something special indeed coz the worl it creates is precious indeed..just as long as we dont get too addicted...

whatever it is.. ur blog is always a refreshing thing to read about..so..dear D.... from one of the fans of ur blog (though these days i cannot blog hop much here)... just wanna say this...

*dont u dare stop blogging!* or else..u shall be terribly missed my many !

take care dear!

Helena said...

Hey good to know that u will still continue to write.

I'm always here, altho kadang2 tak ada jejak.... lately no time.

Take care, yah.

Helena said...

Hey good to know that u will still continue to write.

I'm always here, altho kadang2 tak ada jejak.... lately no time.

Take care, yah.

MULAN said...

keep on writing dear sis..

"keep smiling, keep shining.."

Restless said...

Haha... Ditto to Elara's comments. Need I say anymore? Perhaps a change in career will do justice, aye?

Abt your say to stay, am all smiles now! Finally!!!

Wiz said...

Dearest D, I am guilty of writing the things that you already know and heard of so many times I'm sure. This is your blog, written with an audience in mind, and I am certain you know what's best and what's not without anyone shedding the light on any of the issues. Though we have not met, I sincerely wish you well and hope only the best for you.

Thanks for sharing your stories, your thoughts.