Monday, January 21, 2008

Of pauses and reflections...

Art print poster entitled Pause to Reflect I by Brent Nelson

I have paused for some time and reflected. Perhaps it is now time to bid adieu to the world of blogging. Enough of sharing, enough of exploring, enough of hopping, enough of writing...

To most, this would be a place where a woman once wrote her inner thoughts and feelings at the time she was most tried. And, she will always be the person known as D - her anonymity exposed at the turn of events. Our paths may cross someday in the future, but then again, it may not.
To some, this would be a place to catch up on the updates of the person they knew. Is she managing? Is she well taken care of? Is she coping? How are her children?
Too much have I learned from the world of blogging. Life experiences shared, friendship, prayers, support and encouragement, are just among the few outstanding factors I have gained. I wish to continue and write more, I do, but I am overwhelmed with mixed emotions. Should I or should I not? To move on, without being too transparent, and also to avoid depressing entries, is quite a struggle.
So, this entry is just a thought - should I go on? After all, it's a question that has struck so many other bloggers before. Most left but came back after discovering that living without blogging was not possible after all.

Care to pause and reflect?

39 comments:

JHaZKiTaRo said...

akum.. saje2 nak promote blog.. kalau rajin, meh aa singgah.. heh

Jaskova said...

Hi D,

I've just recently discovered your blog and I for one feel strongly that you should continue blogging. Not just for telling sake but your writing can touch many souls out there. Your perspective in live is admirable - how you carry through yourself thru all the pains and joy. Also, they say, sharing rejuvenates one's heart. So, keep sharing.

Ummi said...

D, keep on writing. :)

Raden Galoh said...

Salam D...Keep on writing dear. Your inner thoughts, feelings and experiences in many ways inspire and boost me to keep going on strong...

Take care sis.

kc said...

dear D;

spoke too soon. kinda have that nagging feeling too - wanna rest from blogging but not quitting. i'd suggest u have a rest (take as long as u want to) frm blogging and when u feel like blogging back go right ahead. just dont delete this blog.

cheers!

Anonymous said...

Salam;

Nice meeting you thru your blog. Take care D.

I am Ann said...

Hi D,

I hope you don't stop writing completely.

mad redo1 said...

all those overwhelming emotions could be a potent source of writing, perhaps not now but certainly one for the future.

a hiatus is a better option, perhaps.

looking forward to more reflection while pausing... hehehe...

nana said...

Have some rest, dear!
But don't stop blogging at all ya.
Really wish this blog could be paused and reflected to my gal once day!

Superwomanwannabe said...

Hi D

Although its not easy to expose one's inner feelings and risk judgment, I find it therapeutic to blog ...and reading yours very inspiring. And yes, although I do not know you, I do want to know that you are well..So even if you decide to take a break..we will be wishing you all the best and hope you continue to write...even if it never sees the light of day..

~ahni~ said...

Saya pun pernah rasa macam malas/putus asa nak menulis blog lagi tapi bila 'berehat' seketika, perasaan tu sama aje... tidaklah kita happy sebab kita tidak menulis blog dan tidak lah kita happy sangat kerana menulis blog...

Pokok pangkalnya, apakah tujuan D menulis blog? Itu yang nak tanya balik pada diri sendiri...

Walau apapun take care lah.

juwaidah said...

D,
I hope that you will continue blogging after taking some time off. Like jaskova said, your perspective of life is very interesting.. I do learn A LOT from you.

Tadika Intan Gemilang said...

d,
pilihan tu berada di tgn kita. kita yg mulakan, kita jua yg boleh menamatnya. Cuma tepuk dada, tanya iman....adakah ini yg kita mahu....
Adakah kepuasan ini yang kita cari? namun apa jua keputusannya tiada siapa yang berhak menghalangnya kan?

sYaNa said...

D :o)

Salam. I hope you and your kids are keeping well :o)

I know how you feel. I am going through the same emotions.

Take a break from blogging, D, but don't stop. Each of us do make a difference in someone's life and it is how we make the world a better place. I like to believe that each of us is a Khalifah (in our own lil way).

I am taking a break too. The lost of my previous blog had a big impact on me (silly as it may sound) and I am still 'uncomfortable' with the new one.

Take care, D :o)

ADIEJIN said...

cool sis. u take care while reflecting. i know you'll make it through. we'll be here when u come back.. till then, be safe.

lady pot pet said...

Salam D,

I've been reading your blog in silence.But when you are thinking of bidding adieu to the world of blogging, I feel that I should share some of the Quranic verses that have lifted my spirit every time I am in pain..insyallah (in fact I have posted them in one of my entries in my blog):

KENAPA AKU DIUJI?

QURAN MENJAWAB :"Apakah manusia itu mengira bahawa mereka dibiarkan saja mengatakan; "Kami telah beriman," ("I am full of faith to Allah") sedangkan mereka tidak diuji? Dan sesungguhnya Kami telah menguji org2 yg sebelum mereka, maka sesungguhnya Allah mengetahui org2 yg benar dan, sesungguhnya Dia mengetahui org2 yg dusta."(Surah Al-Ankabut ayat 2-3)

KENAPA AKU TAK DAPAT APA YG AKU IDAMKAN?

QURAN MENJAWAB :"Boleh jadi kamu membenci sesua tu padahal ia amat baik bagimu, dan boleh jadi pula kamu menyukai sesuatu, padahal ia amat buruk bagimu, Allah mengetahui sedang kamu tidak mengetahui."(Surah Al-Baqarah ayat 216)

KENAPA UJIAN SEBERAT INI?

QURAN MENJAWAB :"Allah tidak membebani seseorang itu melainkan sesuai dengan kesanggupannya. "(Surah Al-Baqarah ayat 286)

KENAPA RASA FRUSTASI?

QURAN MENJAWAB :"Jgnlah kamu bersikap lemah, dan jgnlah pula kamu bersedih hati, padahal kamulah org2 yg paling tinggi darjatnya, jika kamu org2 yg beriman."(Surah Al-Imran ayat 139)

BAGAIMANA HARUS AKU MENGHADAPINYA?

QURAN MENJAWAB :"Dan mintalah pertolongan (kepada Allah) dengan jalan sabar dan mengerjakan sembahyang; dan sesungguhnya sembahyang itu amatlah berat kecuali kepada orang-orang yang khusyuk"(Surah Al-Baqarah ayat : 45)

APA YANG AKU DAPAT DRPD SEMUA INI?

QURAN MENJAWAB :"Sesungguhnya Allah telah membeli dari org2 mu'min, diri, harta mereka dengan memberikan syurga utk mereka... "(Surah At-Taubah ayat : 111)

KEPADA SIAPA AKU BERHARAP?

QURAN MENJAWAB :"Cukuplah Allah bagiku, tidak ada Tuhan selain dari Nya. Hanya kepadaNya aku bertawakkal. "(Surah At-Taubah ayat 129)

AKU TAK DAPAT TAHAN!!!

QURAN MENJAWAB :"... ..dan jgnlah kamu berputus asa dr rahmat Allah. Sesungguhnya tiada berputus asa dr rahmat Allah melainkan kaum yg kafir."(Surah Yusuf ayat 12)

Jazakallah...

maklang said...

abis, kalau maklang rindu kat D camana? Nak gi Coventry tu memang tak tercapai ler...

u take care...cuti blogging boleh lah, berenti jangan OK..:)

Roti Kacang Merah said...

dijji,

i'd say, keep on writing!

why? because all these will be your reflections in the future. anak-anak you boleh baca and learn from your trials and tribulations. they, will in return, pause and reflect.

if it's going to be sad entries, so be it. you write for YOU and whoever willing to learn from you. don't be stressed out in "whetting other ppl's appetite".

furthermore, writing's good for the soul, too... kan??? that's why it's a really strong prescription by psychologists.

*hugs*

idham said...

D...ini satu soalan yang susah nak jawap, sbb say sendiri dah berkali2 cuba tapi sentiasa terpanggil untuk meneruskan....

Cuba lah secara berperingkat2...
1. Tulis jer, dan kurang kan blog hopping - untuk mengawal masa.
2. Tulis - sesekali, maybe a weekly column or maybe , "when D feel like it column".
or
3. Pause - and come back in another form, just like you were before - anonymous.

Selfishly- I would say, continue writing - as I am addicted to your entries.

Blogging is still a healthy way of nurturing friendship and nourishing our emotion. Especially living abroad, we get connected with our community through blogs.

On the flip side, I have been disturbed before by my own entries - when upon reading them back they sounded too personal. I was afraid that they may come back to haunt me....or haunt my children. Are there people out there who have ill intention and use information from my blog against us....During those vulnerable moments, I then closed my blog - or hide away some of those enrties I think were too personal.

But all others and I can see is only a window of your life - you know best what is good for u and ur children for now and in going forward. You have a wider and fuller perspective.....

Sometimes - it is neccessary to put your needs first before others!

Best wishes....

Idham

Anonymous said...

hi Lady D...
love reading yr blog.. but if you need to pause n reflect....
by all means.. please do....
but we'll miss u....

Zakiah said...

hi kak D

u know what best for you!.

have a break...and come up with totally new chapter.

just a suggestion...

whatever it is, all the best.

Anonymous said...

may be it's good to have a break. Because it's quiet a depressing to tell a story which we can't actually tell. We struggle to make it nice and not depressing other people that read. But at the end we depress our self. Because in some situation it's not everyday live blog, but all the emotion, feeling and thought that you can't actually display. Than you will start and intend to create more happy story that may be not at all happy. So, may be pause for a while is a good option. Get you back on track and reality. Sometimes blogging is not real. We intend to create to story which satisfy other people but depressing ourself. Get your self back together will take sometimes. But will put you in real world. The real more challenging world. Sometime what we write and what we really feel is totally different. You need to write your on reality feeling. Not to satisfy other people.

elara said...

Blogging won't be the same without D.It must have been a heart-wrenching decision for you to come into such decision. Would be nice if you could continue blogging.

Wiz said...

Dearest D,

It's your choice to make and yours alone. Don't write for others, but write for yourself, write to ease the pain, write to capture good memories, write to keep you company, write to cheer you up. It's when you write, feelings freed, emotions untangled, knots untied and thoughts unlocked. But only do it if blogging makes you feel all those but if it doesn't then probably it's time to pause...til you are ready to write for yourself again.

halwafy said...

Do whatever you want D - don't have to worry about your readers.

Sad entries or happy ones - they are yours - the odd 'anonymous' commenter might criticise but who cares.

It's your blog, my dear.

(kalau you tak update terpaksa lah I email/ call you untuk dapat berita..hehe)

NUR said...

Hi Ms D...i am your silent reader..& silently i prayed for you..i would BEG you not to stop..but that would be selfish of me...do what u think best..u hv been an inspiration to ur readers..pouring it out in a blog is actually a theraphy itself...continue whenever you feel like it..but please do not delete this blog...becoz I also need to PAUSE&REFLECT too..

NJ said...

Salam D,

It's OK to stop for a while. We bloggers do have that inkling every now and then.

But, plssss... dont delete this blog.

Have a rest dear, but just remember that we bloggers will all be here waiting for you to resurface once you are up for it again.

anggerik merah said...

D,
many times I came here but don't know what to suggest to you. I guess I know how you feel which I had gone thru the same phase in blogging world. Nevertheless, I always see the positive side of it. The most important, as been suggested by others too, is you must do it for yourself first. If it caused sadness in you...take a break. Come back when you feel like sharing is good and also theraphatic. And many wonderful bloggers friends around too.

You take care!

13may said...

salam Kak D....

Take ur time ok :)

sofinee said...

Hi kak D,

When you ready, boleh call tak regarding thing that we talk about before. Just don't want to disturb you by phone..Sorry..

Kak Elle said...

take a break for a while but do come back once in a while for us to read:)

take care & hugs

Earthmom said...

Hello D,
If you want to write something really depressing but maybe you think you don't want people to read it just use a password or something. I think wordpress has this feature (not that I'm a wordpress user though). Some wordpressers do this for sensitive woman related issues or for just too personal entries. (Being an introvert , sometimes I consider moving or setting an account in wordpress for this feature). All the best to you and hope everything will be fine for you in life, insha Allah and salam to your wonderful children.

IBU said...

Salam D

Ayooooo friend, don't la like that...

Quitting blogging never occured to me so far because I'm doing it at my own leisure and pleasure. Bila bz, tak blog lah, without feeling guilty whatsoever.

Of course my main reason for blogging is to leave some trails for my children to read and reflect in the future. Maybe by then my memory could have faded, kot2 dah senile... kot2 cakap pun org dah tak faham... Kot2 semua merantau jauh2. Kot segala macam kot lah.

Like some preserved carvings on the wall in some underground caves or tunnels, hopefully the blog & my entries would survive beyond my own lifetime, unlike my parents' family album yg dah dihanyutkan air banjir kilat, unlike ayah's love letters to me(alamak...ada ke?) yg dah kena makan dek anai2 coz the house that we used to rent shortly after getting married was infested with termites & unlike my own chaotic upkeep of my own photo albums & other things.

Hence 'cerita ibu' as an archive of my thoughts & experience for my children to read in the future - for as long as 'they' (who?) don't extinguish the server.

Perhaps....

jooli said...

Naah, don't stop. Though I've often wondered how you find time to blog so regularly. The ir-regular times that i do, i feel good, writing about things I want to write on, even if i don't know who's reading (or not, in my case). Aww, go on D.

cikdinz said...

alarrr.... apa lak ni. kak D nak gi mana...

soy said...

jgn la stop terus.. nanti kami semua rindu..

take care.. kak D.

Izwan said...

Dear Mrs D,

I've only bumped into your blog very recently, and in my opinion what makes your entries very readable is the fact that you wrote them because you chose to, without a care of what anyone would think of them. I believe you chose to write as a way to express events that happened and it gave you an outlet to let your most innermost feelings and thoughts pour. Anything as raw as that are very intimate and usually beautiful to read.

You're left with another choice here. To continue blogging or otherwise. I, and many others would hope that you keep on writing, but only if you do so regardless of what we think.

;-)

silversarina said...

salam,

Hope you'll continue blogging .

Take care !!

tulipurple said...

sis D,
hopefully,you'll continue blogging...if not,plizzz dun delete ur blog.maybe u need to take a rest 1st....mcm d rest kata,ur blog inspires many people out there,ur words really touch our heart...Moga Dia memberi petunjuk pd sis D.