A somewhat different Mother's Day

Okay, okay, I have learnt my lesson. Not only should one avoid the shops during the weekends, but one should especially avoid the shops a day prior to any celebration. Yesterday evening, I went to the shops to get my groceries and found ourselves trapped in a huge crowd. You see, in the UK, Mother's Day is the first Sunday of March, i.e. today!

As we entered the supermarket, the first aisle was strategically filled with Mother's Day knickknacks: the row of cards, chocolates, gifts and flowers. My princess innocently asked me, Mummy, can I buy a Mother's Day's card? Oh dear... What was I supposed to say? No? There's no need to?

So, I gave the children some space by allowing the older ones to linger at that section while I made a dash for the food section (first making sure that they didn't buy anything they couldn't afford; read - nothing outrageously expensive!). I felt a tinge of sadness as I nostalgically remember their late dad teaming up with them when they were working up on a surprise for me(Mother's Day / my birthday). Now, they no longer have their daddy to conspire with and are still under age to go out to get anything on their own. How are they going to manage? Or better still, how am I going to make sure they can still do the things they used to do? Of course I am not concerned with material showers but I understand the children's personal desire to get something for their mum - just like everyone else.

When I got up this morning, I busied myself in the kitchen by baking a cake for the children and preparing breakfast. Once everything was done, with coffee in hand, I stepped into the living room to enjoy my breakfast when, lo and behold, there was a surprise waiting for me!

3 cards (+ 1 Tesco brochure for flower orders on Mother's Day), a box of chocolates, a bead and shell necklace (Twin H told me it took him a week to drill two holes through the shell), and a hanging card were laid out on the table for me. I kissed each child thank you and read the card my Princess chose:

The most thoughtful people

are thought about the most,

and wished the very best

of everything...

always.

This warm and loving message

is especially meant for you

Because it's filled with gratitude

for the thoughtful things you do...

And with it comes a special wish

that Mother's Day will bring

All the joy you so deserve

and the best of everything.

Have a Wonderful Mother's Day

To: Mama

Love from Izz Zh@reef, Ulfah, Dean, Hanees,

White and Grey the hamsters.

Of course, the emotional me could not help being teary. As if that wasn't enough, they instructed me to open up the card - and in it was a picture of their late dad:

Imagine them remembering their late dad on Mother's Day! I now realise that they probably think of their dad as much as I do, even though they don't say it out loud...

(squiggly scribbles - oops...)

I later brought them out for ice-cream (the weather was very promising!!) and some goodies. It was too sunny to stay indoors, but ironically, the great weather only brought back memories of the good days spent out with Mamasarah's family and the late Mr D. Thus, Mother's Day evoked a mixture of feelings that are very precious to me.

To my children I dearly love (a.k.a the Fantastic Four),
Thank you very much for your wonderful gesture and thoughts. What I only ask for on Mother's Day (and every other day) is that I can really be a good mother to you so that you will all grow up into good Muslims blessed by the Almighty.

To all mothers out there,

Happy Mother's Day.

Let me end with an interesting quotation, worth pondering upon:

"The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before.

The woman existed, but the mother, never.

A mother is something absolutely new."

Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh quotes (Indian Spiritual leader, 1931 - 1990)

Hopefully, we can all be excellent mothers (and fathers for the opposite species) to all whom we consider our children.

after a year... eidul adha's knocking on our door

Eidul Adha. Alone, I sat with my eyes closed, imagining that I was among the fortunate pilgrims performing their hajj in the holy land. Images of sheep, goats, cows and camels awaiting to be sacrificed flashed in my mind. All too familiar, yet so vague.

Pre-Eidul Adha, I couldn't help thinking: How do we celebrate Eid this year, without our beloved, in a land far far away? A year ago, we celebrated both Eidul Fitri and Adha very quietly, but happily together. This was what I wrote about Eidul Adha last year.

This year, determined that I am going to try my best to give my children a good celebration, I planned out to cook a feast. A thoughtful friend had asked two days earlier, what our plans were for eid. Plans? What plans? What could I possibly plan? So I then decided to invite some friends over because I know if I didn't, no one would come. Don't ask me why though, because I don't have the answer.

Although the day started dull and unpromising, the meaning of the celebration itself started to carve out on its own. The children down the road came first and with mine, they all howled together and almost brought the house down. Soon after, I had 4 families come to share a little bit of their time with our family. And, I then realised the meaning of sacrifice.


By the end of the day, Little D was already asleep on the sofa, in his new T-shirt he got from one of our dear guests. In no time, even Princess dozed off with her head on my lap. I tidied up the dishes and went to the kitchen smiling... Ah, just when I was beginning to wonder whether it was really eid, everything changed. I was left with only half a bowl of chicken soto. The frankfurter rolls, cheese sausages, mini doughnuts, and trifle were all gone! Alhamdulillah.

There are many things that we have to sacrifice in our lives. Somehow, I feel that iin a way, Mr D had sacrificed himself for us... And I am pausing to reflect...

To sail across the oceans

Most people start every new year with resolutions. A new hope. A new aim. A new target.

Then, every year too, most people celebrate their birthdays with cakes and gifts, a time when others try to show some sense of appreciation (or buttering up!).

So, how long does one expect to live? 60? 70? 80? or scaling up to 100? How long do you want to live?

At 10, one is at the beginning of life - learning to explore a little while fun and enjoyment is the main element. A game of teng-teng and batu seremban, ice lollies on sunny days.

At 20, one is stepping into adulthood - getting the freedom and slowly getting the feel of real life. Life can be a mess during this time, with paths to choose from and decisions to make. Still, it's a time when love is more than luscious and dreams are delirious.

At 30, one is more sure of the steps made. With a little experience in life: work and social, the 30's are usually more focussed in their aims. Yes, I know where I'm going and I know what I'm doing.

At 40, one is very confident in life. "I have lived for so long..." "I know what's going to happen!", "I have met so many people like you". So the saying, life begins at 40... It is when one is at the peak of his or her life.

At 50, one is much more stable and confident financially, mentally and physically. Life is often enjoyed at this age, like a boat sailing away towards the sunset.

I am therefore going to stop at 50. The stability and confidence that one achieves at the age of 50 is one I would like to address. If it takes a human being 50 years to be sailing away, then what about a country? What would a country have achieved in 50 years' independence? A country is not human, yet can it be compared to one?

influenced by the spirits

Don't get me wrong. I'm not referring to spiritual beings or ghosts. It's the spirit of Christmas. I can't help it. It's too tempting. It's everywhere. 9 days to christmas and the the crowd is busy getting their shopping done. I always wonder, what are they rushing for? How many presents are they getting: Mom, Dad, Uncle A, Uncle B, AUnt A, AUnt C, Cousin J, Friend X, Friend XX, Boyfriend/girlfriend/ partner/ spouse, and probably a handful of other people. There can't be too many. You don't give everyone you know a present. So, I sometimes just stand by the counter of a department store and watch what they put on the cashier's conveyor belt: candles, bowls, napkin rings, cushions, and the list goes on. Their shopping bag does not only take presents but like Malaysians, they prepare to decorate their houses and themselves with beautiful and trendy items: clothes, shoes, make-up, and anything they can sneak an excuse for. One would probably expect that shopping baskets/trolleys at the food department is always full - you guessed it right. Wine, champagne, mouth-watering desserts to the dozen, more ready-made meals and anything that is worth serving for christmas.

Since it's a weekend, time when I indulge in my 3Fs: fun, family and food, we spend almost the whole day window shopping. For one, it's always carboot sale on Sunday. This time, I was looking for curtains and anything for the house. You see, we're moving into a bigger house the weekend after christmas and there won't be any carboot until way after new year. Got my bargains: a clock (50p), a square vase (25p), gorgeous green curtains (3 pounds) and some remnant vinyl carpet for 50p. Not too bad. Then, we went further down to Leamington Spa - a smaller town but more chique. Along the highstreet were stalls selling interesting objects most suitable for gifts. Well, most of the items are asian. They are probably imported from Thailand, India, Vietnam, China and Hong Kong. There were stalls selling jewellery, decorations, candles, hats, jackets, you name the lot. That was where and when I was influenced by the spirits of christmas, and related to what some of my blogger friends mean when they say they love christmas in the UK. In the background (on the sidewalks) were a band in santa suits, a guitarist singing to his tune, and a balloon-man with a bunch of beautiful metalic balloons of all sizes and shapes. We even stopped for some spud - today's special of baked potato with cottage cheese and chives. My husband had never tasted baked potato and I have been wanting him to taste some. You must try what the British love. The stall was the first we came across that only served vegetable-based topping. He enjoyed it. I'm glad.

At the end of the day, I wonder, is it wrong to take in the spirit of another celebration, even though we're not celebrating it? Is it also subahah? It's just the shopping part, innit?