Pre-Maal Hijrah: A spiritual revelation of a reflection (yet again)

(work of Noraini, taken from norainigallery.blogspot.com)

Beautifully embroidered or artistically painted ayahs from surah At-talaq (verses 2 and 3) in frames is a common sight on walls of shops (my butcher has it on his wall!), offices and homes of

Muslims. To the Malays, it is also known as Ayat Seribu Dinar, literally translated: Ayah of A Thousand Dinar, i.e. ayahs which promises you a wealth of rezq.

the ayah engraved on a pendant


In actual fact, the ayah is best used to decorate our hearts and souls, instead of just our walls. I don't see any harm putting it up for decoration, just like there are charts and tables in the classroom walls - for us to read the ayah in ease (provided that we do read them whole-heartedly), and be reminded of the meaning (for people like me who doesn't speak Arabic, but understands a little):

And for those who fear Allah, He prepares a way out.

And He provides for him from where he does not reckon. And whoever puts trust in Allah, so Allah is sufficient for him. Surely Allah will accomplish His purpose. And Allah has set a measure for all things.

From Tafsir Ibn Kathir, here, the end part of verse 2 and the whole of verse 3 surah At-talaq simply means:
Whoever has Taqwa of Allah in what He has commanded and avoids what He has forbidden, then Allah will make a way out for him from every difficulty and will provide for him from resources he never anticipated or thought about... Allah will execute His decisions and judgement that He made for him, in whatever way He wills and chooses

*****

At times of difficulty, sometimes the heart aches and the mind is boggled. Yet, the only thing that keeps me in control and sane is the faith in the Almighty. After decades, only now do I understand what my ustazah and ustaz were talking and preaching about; after the numerous notes I scribbled on vertically folded foolscap paper of the definitions of the main essence of Ad-deen, and the loads of lectures I attended or heard over the radio or TV while nodding vigorously. Only now do they each fall into place! Praise the Lord!

If the Deen is the ultimate way of life so perfect and flawless, then the three aspects that fall under it should be embraced to the fullest. Whilst Islam is expressed through the 5 pillars, Imaan is the submission of oneself to the Almighty, believing in His greatness in everything. Ihsan, on the other hand, is worshipping Allah as if we can see Him, and although we may not, He can certainly see us, His humble servants. These are gnostic knowledge that charms the blessed soul.

The lessons I have learnt in my life for the past year are things that I bring along with me through my journey towards the Hereafter. They were not encounters that should be marked and filed in my database, lest I nonchalantly breeze through the next episodes of my life chanting the cliche, "Life goes on..." The wonderful people I met, the vast opportunities He gave, the bitter moments I tasted, the pits I fell into, and the turmoil of emotions I succumbed to, are life experiences that are valuable but left out from my CV.

On this trying journey, I find myself trudging along the lonely path - often shouting HELP to deaf ears that I'm thinking whether it is I who have gone mute? To Him I surrender, and to Him do I trust. And here, I am reflecting and repenting to Him for all the sins done... Alhamdulillah, He has chosen to test me again and again, and I will continue being tested. His glory and wisdom proves that He wishes not to see me being carried away by the comfort of worldly contentment. I know. And I am blessed with feelings of redha.

I marvel at how much truth has been unravelled, that He loves me endlessly by never giving up on me and allowing me more than a mere second chance. :)

PS: Although this entry may sound melancholic, I am in a very peaceful and calm state, Alhamdulillah.

Hajj

The longing and yearning to perform my Hajj has somehow deepened throughout these few years. I remember telling the late Mr D how much I could 'feel' myself being pushed and crushed in between millions of pilgrims in the Holy Land, yet in the midst of it, be filled with the feelings of tranquility so unimaginable. We had both prayed that we'd be His guests soon, and today, alone I continue the prayers for a quest to be closer to Him.

Since Eidul Adha is just around the corner, I found myself catching up on readings concerning Hajj, to share with the children I teach at the Saturday School. Thus, in between my daily obligations, I squeezed some time to do a little research and compile a simple yet comprehensive structure for the children to understand. In doing so, I became absorbed in the significance of each act, with only tears indicating that the heart understood. It was certainly not the first time I read about Prophet Muhammad, Ibrahim or Ismail, or the incidents behind each act during Hajj. Yet the impact is different this time around.

Somehow, the story of Hajar being left by her husband, Prophet Ibrahim, in a desert with her infant, Ismail, stirred my emotions. It was a test of faith and it tugged hard at my heart to think of the perseverence and will-power Hajar had - in search of water for her hungry son. Would you climb up a hill, and then walk approximately 450metres towards another hill, and then continue pacing the SAME ROUTE for a total of seven times?

Subhanallah... Isn't she a personality so admirable? She wasn't upset for being 'abandoned' by her husband in a desert, compared to us who would be filled with rage and anger for being stood up by a friend or made to patiently wait for a delayed meeting to start. Hajar accepted the divine will and submitted herself to the Almighty without feelings of resentment, regret, or failure. And today, everyone is made to remember and ponder over this historical event when performing the sa'ie during Umrah or Hajj. But do we feel the connection?

Thus, let's continue our journey to be closer to him, calling out,

" Here I am at Thy service O Lord, here I am. Here I am at Thy service, and Thou hast no partners. Thine alone is All Praise and All Bounty, and Thine alone is The Sovereignty. Thou hast no partners. "

Just as I am typing this out, the millions of pilgrims in the simplest form of clothes are all gathered in Arafah; leaving their family, work, and worldly possessions behind. Their ultimate goal is only to surrender and submit to Allah, and to beg for forgiveness. I wept while trying to imagine how it must have felt when Prophet Muhammad gathered the Muslim folks in the year 10th Hijriah and gave his sermon in Arafah containing the last verse of the Quran. Suddenly, my feelings for this great man, the Prophet, became indescribable.

So, wukuf in Arafah is symbolic on its own - the place where Adam and Eve were reconciled upon their arrival on earth. It is also a reminder of the great day of resurrection in Mahsyar where all will come only in their birthday suits but InsyaAllah equipped with their good deeds. Would I be equipped? Thus, back to the acts of Hajj, after wukuf in Arafah, if Allah permits, each will leave Arafah with ALL his sins forgiven. Isn't He just?

Hence, do you now see how much I long to perform my Hajj? I sooooo want to wash my sins away and build up my Imaan for the remainder of my life. I hope nobody will laugh if they heard my children talk about when mommy is going for her Hajj. They know how badly I want to go as I have been preparing them with the idea that when mummy goes for her Hajj, they won't be able to follow. *Giggle*

To all Muslims, Happy Eid! Have you thought about what you're sacrificing this year?