Allah's Amanah (Part 2)

This morning, just as I had completed my Dhuha prayers (a beautiful prayer I'd like to share with you later), Little D came to lie down on my lap. He had just gotten up (we went to watch Wall-E last night - I had to do something to cheer those rather gloomy-looking kids). I ran my fingers through his hair, and kissed him. He lay there fiddling with the corners of the pillow, while I read the Yaasin.

Upon completing the reading of the Yaasin, Little D hugged me tight. It was a common gesture, so I returned the hug. Then, I saw tears welling in his eyes.

Darling, why are you crying? Why are you sad?

He scrunched his face, a pout formed and tears escaped down his cheeks. He shrugged.

Are you sad, Peanut?

Yes, he squeeked.

Why, darling? Tell me.

More tears poured down. I couldn't help feeling my emotions being tugged and it wasn't long that I too had tears streaming down the cheek.

What's wrong, darling? What's bothering you? What do you want? Do you miss someone? Do you want to go to the toilet? Do you have a tummy ache? Are you hungry? And I listed all the possible things that came to mind. He shook his head to all that I said.

He remained silent.

So, all I could do was to hold him tight, close to my heart. I embraced him in my arms, and we sat there, having a quiet moment together.

Little D's like that - very sensitive and emotional (much more than you-know-who). With him, I too have to be more sensitive and I need to gather all the knowledge I've got from readings and personal tips to just give him that comforting arm.

I still don't know what upset him, or what went in his mind, but I did lift both my hands up and prayed that the Almighty will ease his fears and discomfort, and perhaps some feelings of instability.

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As I mentioned earlier about Solat Dhuha, I have a confession that I have only started performing this prayers since some months back. Using the du'a written in one of the books I have, the wordings always touches my soul and like tapwater, tears would flow continuously. It makes me realise how weak I was as a human being. Nothing to beat His greatness.

I can't type the Arabic version of the du'a and can't find it on the net. So, hope this is better than nothing:

ALLAHUMMA INNADH DHUHA-A DHUHA-UKA, WAL BAHAA-A BAHAA-UKA, WAL JAMAALA JAMAALUKA, WAL QUWWATA QUWWATUKA, WAL QUDRATA QUDRATUKA, WAL ISHMATA ISHMATUKA. ALLAHUMA INKAANA RIZQI FIS SAMMA-I FA ANZILHU, WA INKAANA FIL ARDHI FA-AKHRIJHU, WA INKAANA MU’ASARAN FAYASSIRHU, WAINKAANA HARAAMAN FATHAHHIRHU, WA INKAANA BA’IDAN FA QARIBHU, BIHAQQIDUHAA-IKA WA BAHAAIKA, WA JAMAALIKA WA QUWWATIKA WA QUDRATIKA, AATINI MAA ATAITA ‘IBADIKASH SHALIHIN.

The Malay translation would be:

“Wahai Tuhanku, sesungguhnya waktu dhuha adalah waktu dhuha-Mu, keagungan adalah keagunan-Mu, keindahan adalah keindahan-Mu, kekuatan adalah kekuatan-Mu, penjagaan adalah penjagaan-Mu, Wahai Tuhanku, apabila rezekiku berada di atas langit maka turunkanlah, apabila berada di dalam bumi maka keluarkanlah, apabila sukar mudahkanlah, apabila haram sucikanlah, apabila jauh dekatkanlah dengan kebenaran dhuha-Mu, kekuasaan-Mu (Wahai Tuhanku), datangkanlah padaku apa yang Engkau datangkan kepada hamba-hambaMu yang soleh”.

Read it from the heart, and InsyaAllah, you will be able to feel the beauty of the prayers. It's just something I am sharing with the more knowledgeable out there, i.e: you. But indeed, it has the power to give me the peace of mind and soul, lifting any worries concerning financial limitations or concerns, especially in bringing up the four children single-handedly.