Sunday, May 11, 2008

It's no fun anymore...


I'm writing this entry under the shades of a big tree; the same tree I sat under with my soul mate approximately the same time last year. The children are running around, enjoying the English summer.

Sundays used to be our family outing to carboot sales, followed by a picnic or recreational activity together when the weather's great. But I discover today that revisiting the place we used to go to with our hero is no longer fun. There's no more excitement in hunting for bargains. Perhaps it's because none of us are inspired anymore. Well, all except for Little D that is.

It's too nostalgic, and too painful.

The boys have been whining to do things they used to do with their dad. How do I tell them that things are never going to be the same? Where do I find the strength to march on, trying to make their lives as normal as possible - without getting all stressed out?

I know the answers to the questions but I'm just thinking aloud. Just pausing and reflecting.

15 comments:

lil Happy me! said...

Give time and space for things to unfold.

almuna said...

Whatever happens in this world, there's always hikmah behind it from Allah. We can be great planners, but Allah's the best.He is the All Knowing.Don't worry, you'll be fine. And thinking aloud is good too....

Umi Kalthum Ngah said...

Dearest D,

Assalamualakum warahmatullah,

Happy Mothers' Day!

And you are such a great mum, Alhamdulillah!

Wasalam...
PS. Hoping this will cheer you up..

cikMilah said...

Happy Mother's Day,D. Dalam kesabaran itu ALLAH mengganjarkan pahala yang besar.
Wassalam.

Anonymous said...

Happy Mother's Day. You have such lovely kids, dear sister...
ماشاء الله لا قوة الا بال

elara said...

D, Perhaps your boys whined because they were thinking aloud too,in their own special way. Look at the bright side of life - i know this is easier said than done. The weather is so like Malaysia these days, and i could swear that I hear thunder at times when it rains these days. I guess summer comes early this year - the long,bright days of June is somewhat happening right now in early May. Trees every where have blossomed again.

Ms Istanbul said...

D,

Whining is good. At least they are epxressing themselves, rather than keep the emotions hidden. One thing I learn about my past is that I always supress my feelings, until it becomes unbearable. Tho I always potray a smiling face, deep inside I was broken to pieces.

But I vow that it will not happen to my girl. I let her express herself, happy, sad, anger. I learn to be a better person tru her. Sometimes, kids can be a better teacher than us.

Yes, things will never be the same. But everyone has the chance to make use of what they have. Take your time dear..

Anonymous said...

Salam D,

Make the most of the moment. Maybe the children are not looking for things to be like before when their hero was around. Perhaps they just want to do it because it reminds them of him.

They need to learn these feelings and in time they will figure out that things will never be the same again. However it doesn't mean it cannot be just as good if not better with you around them.

InsyaAllah.....children have amazing strengths that we may not be aware of. Well they came from the both of you, is it a wonder where they get their strength from?

Much love
Murni (Sheffield)

Kak Teh said...

D, there;s a few hours left for me to say Happy Mother's day. We are lucky we get to celebrate twice.
Pausing and reflecting is good. We all need to do it.

Ajzie said...

D
Salam.. Happy Mothers day utk D. Ajzie mendoakan yg terbaik buat D dan anak2. Insyallah semuanya akan dipermudahkan.

Hugs
Ajzie

Raden Galoh said...

Salam sis...

happy mother's day to u...

it's their way of letting out what'
s bottling in their chest...time will heal though no one is sure enough how long it will take. The pain will still be there yet the intensity will eventually slows down... u keep well sis and my du'as for u and ur family...

*hugs*

Rd said...

D,

I feel for you...
Because he has been a great lover, father and friend to you and the kids, his loss definitely leaves an aching void.

I pray for you and the kids and wish you well.

Take care.

Anonymous said...

Dear D, you are a strong person and you know that. You will go through all these with that strength you have inside you. The kids are your reason to wake up in the morning, to go to work, to meet friends, to laugh and everything else.. Let them whine once in a while.. You will miss that once they have grown up...

myheartbleeds said...

d dearest,

thinking aloud is allowed!!! ;-)

you take care, ok??? hugs for all of you!!!

Nadia said...

Kak D,

subhanallah...do share the answers. I'm learning a lot from you. Love your reflections.