Sunday, April 27, 2008

Just another day..

I've turned 36. No longer half-past thirty, like the Cookie Monstah of Kaypo Klub would say. It's already tilting toward the big four-oh. Hence, it's the late thirties. Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy...

36 has always been a pretty scary number for me. My late mom passed away when she was 36. So did Lady Diana.

What an introduction. Forgive me. Let's do this again.

I extend my appreciation to the Almighty for awarding me 36 years of life - to breathe in the oxygen He supplies us with, to walk and run all over the planet He creates, to eat and drink His produce, to experience the wonderful pleasures of life He plots, and most of all, to be blessed with His rahmah every day.

My day was not fantastic, but Alhamdulillah, I'm still here to share my tale.

If I could nominate the best day in Coventry for the month of April this year, it would definitely have to be today, the 26th. The sun put on his brightest smile and cast the warmest spell on us all! I started the day with the intention of baking a cake but discovered I've run out of castor sugar (&^%$#$&!!). It's tradition - every birthday MUST have a cake, or cakes, in the case of cupcakes. Although those cakes in the shops look beautiful, they don't really taste that way. Most of them are way too sweet. So, no castor sugar meant no cake for breakfast this morning. I fixed some pasta for them kiddies instead.

The first phone call I received today was from Kak Teh - a little bit concerned about me (re last post), but I reassured her that I was fine. Really, InsyaAllah I am. Felt nice to know that I had a concerned friend somewhere though I didn't tell her that I probably felt the way I did because it was my birthday today. HeHe...

In the afternoon, after the kids' Fardhu Ain classes, brought them out to the city centre - stopping by at the park to say hello to the swans and ducks. Got some errands done, and grabbed some roses off the stand. Me being the romantic fool, had thought the night before of getting some roses on my birthday, just as a reminder of that bouquet that was delivered to me on the first birthday I celebrated in love with the late Mr D. And from the bunch I bought, I'd take one stalk (not all...) to put on Mr D's grave. And that was where we went next.

At the grave yard, I couldn't retain the emotions. Thank god for the invention of sunglasses, at least the kids didn't notice that I was crying only till much later! We had a small tahlil together, and as usual, had a session of short speeches to dear Abah. Everyone said how they missed and loved their daddy. Little D 'told' his daddy about his trip to Dublin - the deers he saw, the kite he flew, and the swans he fed. My Princess whispered to me that she wanted to say it was her birthday next. Abang Z didn't have much to say, unlike Abang H, who immediately said, 'I love you'. I reminded the kids that we had to try very hard to make ends meet and to be the best at what we did, as that would have been what their daddy wanted. And we pray on...

We left, and headed home. I recalled the castor sugar I had to get, so made a quick stop at Sainsbury's. But lo and behold, as I was leaving the parking lot, my troubled mind (yes, I can distinctively remember what I was thinking about at that time!) distracted me - BANG! - I hit a car!

I parked the car at a more strategic location, and the other car pulled over next to mine. A lady came out. And boy, was she a wonderful woman indeed! The first thing she asked was, How are you? Are you okay? The accident was entirely my fault - no contest to it. I had looked right, looked left - waited a while, then, without looking back to my right, went straight ahead to turn right! The front (left) part of the car was pretty much smashed. I apologized profusely to the lady, and gave my details. I also told her I didn't know what to do or where to start because it was usually my husband who helped me in issues pertaining to cars. And that was when the tears rolled down my cheeks. Embarrassed, I told her that my husband had passed away and I then apologized for crying in front of her! I could feel my hands trembling and my heart shuddering. She saw how shook up I was, and offered to sit down for some tea but I had put this woman to too much trouble already. I didn't want to trouble her more. Hence I politely turned down the offer, and told her that I'd sit down in the car for a while, till my nerves were a little bit better.

In the car, I broke down. The kids sat quietly, not knowing what to do. After a good 5-10 minutes, I wiped the tears off and drove back home - it was only a few minutes away.

Got home, all still quite shaken up, went to the kitchen to prepare the kids some tea. The day was warm and sunny, so I suggested that they sat in the backyard to chill. I had to go and lie down. I excused myself, and went to perform my prayers - thanking Allah that despite what happened, we were all fine. Little D then came up to me, "Mummy, are you finished? Come down with me..." I did not have the heart to tell him that I didn't feel too well and needed a lie down. So, I followed him out into the backyard - for their wonderful surprise for me! There were 4 cards laid out - 3 handmade and 1 bought (of course, that's from Princess). A nicely wrapped gift was thrusted into my hands. I was impressed! Yeah, a few days ago, Princess requested that I brought her to Tesco because she had something to buy (for me). I had to go through the same thing I went through during Mother's Day.

Anyway, the wonderfully wrapped gift actually came with a small bundle of matching ribbons. "Mama, I actually don't know how to tie the ribbon on the gift - can you pleaaaassssseeeee do it for me?" exclaimed Abang Z. Oh, wasn't that cute? So, I fiddled with the ribbon and managed to make a simple tie-up. Then, I took them apart - to be surprised (was indeed really!) with a spiral notebook. HeHeHe... Yes, I'm a sucker for notebooks (just like Princess), but surely... Aren't my chidren just sooo wonderful?

Then, Dina called, saying she was on her way over with her new boyfriend (new because I hadn't met him). Suddenly, I realised I didn't have anything to serve and was NOT in the mood to prepare anything! So, I went on with the initial plan to bake a cake. While it was still in the oven, Dina arrived. Surprise, surprise!! She brought a cake for me! Woo hoo... And I was lucky enough to have some great company to share not only one cake, but TWO cakes with us.

Ergo, by the end of the day, I feel blessed with the life I have now. It may not be perfect, it may not be all wonderful, and it may not be even close to brilliant. BUT, the day could have turned out worse. I am fortunate to have beautiful children who are just the best at surprises and making others feel special. They really made me feel special. Thank you my darlings...

I received calls from my Dad and sis, wishing me Happy Birthday. A very thoughtful birthday email from my other sis, and tens of wishes via the net (FB, emails and chats) and mobile (texts). There were also a few who actually remembered my birthday simply from the post I wrote regarding my birthday last year!! Fantastic or what?

If one asked me to comment how I feel being 36, I must say that 36 years is quite a significant amount of time. Enough to experience a little of everything (not really), and enough to enjoy so much too. In the 36 years, I have lost so many loved ones, but also gained so many others. With me now, I am blessed with 4 wonderful children who will be the essence of my life.

What lies ahead is a road forking out at each possible junction. I am carrying the torch Allah has entrusted me with, and I will carry it with me on this journey.

A birthday is just another day - a milestone that you've gone through a year successfully (or not). No big deal at all. Not even if you miss some people so much, that you hope they were next to you...

More tomorrow: the big hearts those kids of mine have


k.d said...

Awww kak D, happy birthday. And what a day that was eh. :)

Wonderful kids...just wonderful... so endearing. Hugs to each one of them.

My heart feels for you... but you're the one with a bleeding heart. May Allah gives you strength and guides you and bless you with His rahmah.

fifi said...

Slm, Happy b'day D! Wishing you lots of iman, love, good health, rezeki and happiness.. Love to the kids, hope to see you soon.

Suzana Abd Manan said...

Salam, Happy Birthday my dear neighbour. May Allah bless you and you wonderfull kids.

myheartbleeds said...

Happy happy birthday to you!!!

A year older and a year wiser!!!

P/S: 36 -- still mid-thirties tuh... ;-)

silversarina said...

Happy Birthday dearest sis !!

Semoga diberkati Allah ke akhir hayat. Amin.

btw, akak 'letak' kisah d dalam my latest entry .

NJ said...

Salam D, it's been a while I hop by. And ahh.. it's your 36th birthday. Happy belated BDay dear D, masih muda lagi tu, like they say mid thirty is the new mid tweenty nowadays what..hehe

Insyaallah, D will always be in His guidance always. Till then dear.

Kak Teh said...

D, you shd have told me yesterday!!! anyway, am glad that you are okay after that small accident. and that woman must be an angel sent to help another angel. Take care.

ummi said...

Happy Birthday D. Semoga D and family dilimpahkan rahmat dan rezeki dari Ilahi untuk hari2 mendatang.

Dentist said...

Happy birthday Sis D. Be happy don't worry

Anonymous said...

Salam Kak D,
Happy Birthday to you, may may Allah bless you with magnificent days and years ahead....

Sorry for not keeping in touch with you coz not feeling very well, (for the past three months had been very miserable and uncomfortable)

thinking of you,

Anonymous said...

Salam Kak D,

Happy Birthday...May Allah bless you in whatever you do...

It seems that we share the same birthday.Anyway I really admired your views about life, love etc. Hope that we could get to know each other sometime.


Anonymous said...

Kak Ijah,

Semoga TEGUH menghirup perit dan nikmat kehidupan ini.

Salam ukhuwwah,
-Dyg Azizah-
SMAP 87-91

p/s : apasal tak reply my e-mail?

Ms Istanbul said...

D dear,

Happy birthday! Remember, age is just a number. (and I am sure you dont look like age. and if you do, you can always ask Kak Teh on her ant-aging beauty tips. *smiles*)

I'd like to dedicate this book to you; "an hour to live, an hour to love" by Richard Carlson.

"In this experience of losing Richard so suddenly and grieving his loss, it has just given me so much strength and comfort to feel so complete in our relationship," Kris says. "Just to know that he felt so complete when he left. Just to know that he walked out the door that day, he had said it all—he had appreciated us so fully."

Umi Kalthum Ngah said...

Assalamualaikum warahmatullah,

Selamat menyambut hari ulang tahun...

36...muda sangat lagi begitu...namun tabah dan bersemangat waja..

Moga terus diberkati dan dirahmati Allah...Amin, Ya Rabbul Alamin...


Anonymous said...


Happy birthday. Semoga Allah memberkati hidup puan sekeluarga.

Muhd Kamil Ibrahim

Spena said...

Kak D, I've always been a silent reader of your writings. It reminded me a lot of the feelings that I had gone thru (eventho the situation is a bit different).You helped me to be strong too.
Anyways , you are lucky to have your beautiful children around.
Happy birthday and may you have more great years ahead, Insya Allah.

Anonymous said...

How are you now? Better? Alhamdulillah. If you need to talk I am just a phone call away. I have not been a good friend lately, too busy with things that need to be settled.
Take extra care next time. Don't get distracted and drive.

p/s the more reason to ditch the lesen kopi eh? No?

My love to the kids,

rad said...

Happy belated besday!! Semoga dipanjangkan umur (utk beramal kepadaNya), dimurahkan rezeki, diberkati & dirahmati Allah bersama anak2.Amin.

At times, it might be hard for you to 'move on' - you deserve to wallow in feeling blue then- only to come back 'better & fresher'!!
P/s: Takutnya nak menulis coz my english is terrible! Hehehe

Nadia said...

kak D,

Oh...that scene of you breaking down struck me deep..I would have done the same thing too!

but this is a beautiful entry kak D...may Allah protect you and your wonderful beautiful children. Ameen!

lots of love and hugs!

Roti Kacang Merah said...

*sniff, kesat tears*

though agak terlewat, still... happy belated birthday Dijji!!!! *hug hug hug*

phew, what a day it was, ey? from one end to the other. oh how blessed you are for having such wonderful wonderful kids... blessed be forever, insyaAllah... *hugs hugs!*