Friday, December 28, 2007

A love story thirteen years ago...


I don't remember the exact date, but I first knew the late Mr D some time thirteen years ago, in 1994. I think the courting and wooing period was stretched quite a bit because yours truly is not good in establishing relationships. I had never been in a relationship before and the only explanation to it is that I'm a big coward. Of course, the idea of having a boyfriend is far-fetching, but whenever a friend approaches, I'd usually put on my running shoes and flee!!!

So, when Mr D approached me, he made his intentions clear: to start a relationship that will hopefully end in marriage. He was persistent and adamant, and somehow, he managed to capture my heart. If I recall correctly, the late Mr D 'found' me when he went to Scotland during his first skiing trip. His friend A knew my friend, W, thus they went to her house. Somehow, he knew that I was in the UK (I was a junior in his secondary school), so he asked the girls if they knew me. He politely asked to look at a picture of me - which my friends kindly obliged - cheeky girls! I still remember the picture they showed him: one of the pictures taken at one of the Malaysian Nights in England (probably Kent). He even asked them for my telephone number, but only got the courage to call after a few weeks later. And that was how it started.

When we went home during the first summer holidays in 1994, he asked whether he could meet me (I had not met him in person yet). I told him, if he wanted to, he'd have to come to my house. And so he came, to meet my dad, who interrogated him like mad - poor fellow! Well, the experience did not deter him and he was even more confident than ever!

Unfortunately, the chicken in me was still there, and after we went back to the UK, I told him that I wanted to review matters. Give me some time... things were moving too fast and I needed some space. Gutted, he fled for a vacation to Europe! Gosh, how cruel was I?

However, as things were meant to be, the relationship bloomed and blossomed. Everyday, we'd write to each other - remember, via snail-mail! Well, at least in the UK you have the First Class Mail, which meant that your mail will be delivered the next day. Oh, I was in Scotland, by the way, and he was in the southern tip of England. It was a long-distance relationship but it worked for us. I don't recall what we wrote about, but the piles of letters are still kept safely in boxes back in my home in PJ. At that time, when internet wasn't as it is today, our modes of communication were only via ordinary mail and on weekends, the telephone. Yeah, the mobile phone was unheard of!

We were then engaged during the summer of 1995 and wed after our graduations in 1996. And after that, we never turned back. Well, whenever we did, it was only to reminisce the wonderful days of yesteryears...

With Mr D, all our dreams were made possible for he was a man who took risks. He planned vacations for us, and I'd often be the one hesitant and full of doubts - oh, the kids are still small, or, do we have the budget?, or, is that the best location?, etc... That's the very rational and level-headed me talking. But as I look back now, I know I have no regrets. On the contrary, I regretted being so cautious and careful.

Imagine, he dragged us all for a holiday in Hong Kong back in 2003 (after SARS), when I had just finished my 40 days' confinement. I remember walking down the lanes in Mongkok and the vendors would laugh and call each other to look at us, with our trail of children! Little D would be in a carrier in my arms, and the twins and princess, all in a row. You see, my boys are rather small in size, but my princess is tall for her age. Hence, when together, they look very much the same age! No, no, they're not triplets!! And, yes, they're all mine!

Then, there were those adventurous trips to Taman Negara (click here for post written in the past), Langkawi (where we ended investing some of our money), the east coast, the neighbouring country in the north, Thailand, and also to the land of the Pharaohs. I think we spent quite a portion of our salaries on holidays together, and those were wonderful moments I now cherish. Jet-skiing in the sea, walking along the beach during sunset, building castles in the cold mediterranean sand, snorkelling in the clear ocean, and experimenting delicious dishes in foreign lands...

The late Mr D was a man who never tired to make us happy. He believed that everything was possible. He knew that life should be enjoyed with those we love, and that was exactly what he did. He never wasted any of his time, cherishing every single moment he had with us.

The past year was the most wonderful year we had spent together - without any boundaries, and without any limits. He rushed home to spend his quality time with the kids, performing the jamaah prayers together, and teaching the kids all sorts of tricks up his sleeves. For that, I thank the Almighty, for perfecting our family...

In the last few weeks I spent with him, the amount of love he felt for me touched me deep within. He had only wanted to eat when I fed him; an act I felt most honoured in doing. Eleven years of marriage, and it was all filled with utmost satisfaction. He had promised me two things in the beginning: to gradually add on to our religious deeds together, and to stay deeply in love till the end of our lives. And Alhamdulillah, he kept to his words...

So, even though there will no more be Pizza Lie..., no more Tony Buzan memory moments, and no more magic tricks from their great daddy, we will definitely keep those memories in mind for those were the things that make us the people we are today. It all started with love, and the love will be kept alive in our minds.

Upon reflection, I realise that one main mistake I had allowed myself to make when I married the late Mr D eleven years ago, was to believe that he was all mine. For 24 years, I had lived without really having someone who belonged to me. I had mom, but she was taken back by our Creator when I was four. I had sisters, but they were either off studying somewhere, or later, married. I had an only brother, but he too followed my mom. My dad was the person I was closest to but surely, that was different. Naturally, when Mr D came into my life, I appreciated him to bits.

But today, I am reminded through the hard way that nothing in this world belongs to us. It will all return to its Creator, and that is a different love altogether...

28 comments:

Angelineweess said...

Hi,
Have been reading your posts for a while now. Am really sorry for your lost, stay strong!
Its nice reading how you met your late husband,really sweet.
Take care now and be strong for the kids!

elara said...

Goes to show you care for & love him beyond measure and cherish him in your heart forever. Love letters are cherished possessions indeed. Be always strong & may Allah bless you & your family always.

anamiraa said...

thinking that our beloved is ALL ours can be quite scarry isn't it Kak D?

thanks for sharing this.

i think you have experience so much in such a young age! it's definitely for the better!

take care sis!

Mama22Beas said...

Beautifully written as always, thanks for sharing.

rizal_a said...

hope ur eid was good as per ur half bowl mentioned/illustrated...*grin* i enjoy going thru ur posts bcoz u write from the heart...do take 1 day at a time, n god-willing, u will do wat u feel is right when the time comes...till then, live the life u know Mr D wants 4u n ur kids 2hv...m 120% sure Mr D wants nothing but the best 4u n ur kids...n u still hv a circle of ppl who doubles up as ur support system 2...despite ur independence, it is nice (at the back of your mind) to know u hv ppl who genuinely care 4u...hang in dere aight?

theconfused said...

oopppsss... Assalamualaikum.. was trying to post a comment to you but sumthing happen...

I've been reading your blog for quit sumtimes, but only today have the courage to say hye. It's great to read how your love blossoms and those experiences both of you discovered together and at last realizing that nuthing in this world belong to us. Thus, saying is easier than experiencing...

Stay tough... Allah is always and always be with us.. hugs!!!

jooli said...

Salam,
Am back! Reading this post makes me realise that I too am very lucky to have AHS and will cherish the time we have together. He too keeps the letters he and his late wife wrote each other -- I never will tell him off for doing that or other memorabilias they shared. I would do the same too. I've just lost my niece (read my blog).
Happy belated Eid.
Love
jooli

Roti Kacang Merah said...

lerr.. you two were engaged in summer 95??? how come i never knew? THAT secretive ah back then???

the first time i saw arwah was when i dropped by at your place at st.patrick's, IN 1996!!!

ish ish senyap senyaaaaap je yeaaa. hehe

i remember the boys in Edinburgh always go ga-ga over you and kak ngah, tapi tak ada sorang pun yang berani nak approach!!! lil that we know back then, huh?? haha!

ADIEJIN said...

owhhh...hot stuff rupenya kamu ni kat Edinburgh... gamaknya sejuk kat Scotland tu buat muker kamu bercahaya.. itu yang tak lena malam Arwah dok teringat kat awak maser tuh...

ish ish ish... tragis..

tapi Jin tersengih sengsorang masa baca pasal snail mail kat England..Bila dengar the bunyi posmen buang surat kat lubang mail kat pintu tuh.. berlari turun tangga tengok surat..hehehe.. betul tak ?

D said...

angelineweess,
thank you for your kind words and thank you for reading my blog!

elara,
gratitudes for your du'a... I do need the strength!

anamiraa,
well, they say, better late than never, eh?!

mama22beas,
thanks dear... I forced myself to write and publish this as friends were texting me already! LOL..

rizal_a,
that's the problem when you write from the heart. You suddenly feel so transparent. Hey, do I know you personally? I mean, apart from in the blogosphere? sorry..

theconfused,
why do you need courage to say hi? I'm a nobody... just D. Nice to know you!

jooli,
You're BACK!!! You're doing excellent and will always be - I have no doubts, InsyaAllah...

rotikacangmerah,
No! No! No! Where got secretive??? You lupa la... Go ask kak ngah. I think you have forgotten those years. I think you must've met aruah at least in winter 95. Think hard, my dear, think very very hard.

Eh, please la miss... where got go ga-ga! But mind you, some did try - of course I was in my running shoes!

ps: jangan korek cerita lama...

D said...

adiejin,
your comment came in while I was replying... HeHe.. tak sia-sia jin sengih sengsorang, memang Mr Postman member baik la masa tu. LOL

simah said...

True.... all will return to the creator...but insyaAllah... u both will be reunited again in Syurga....that is something worth looking for...

For now, no matter how hard things r, u r left with a wonderful memories together... a man worth loving till the end... a wonderful father to ur wonderful kids... his legacy lives on...

our prayers will always be with u... take care d...

Kak Elle said...

I agree with Simah d ....
nothing is permanent in this world:(

anggerik merah said...

U kat Edinburgh ke dulu D? I miss the place so much...

U take care!

ulf said...

been a silent reader all this while :)

guess what, im a BIG coward when it comes to love...and im still am... :) its like a phobia and i have not been able to overcome it..yet.

have a good week :)

Kaklong Syikin said...

salam sis D,

beruntung punya suami mcm arwah.

InsyaAllah, tiba masanya kalian akan berkumpul semula di sana.

ajzie said...

Sama seperti syikin..

InsyaAllah, tiba masanya kalian akan berkumpul semula di sana.

idham said...

D...a beautiful recollection and preservation of a love story so noble and so pure. beautiful writing is made possible only if the writer has beauty in his/her heart and has gone through beautiful experiences. Time spent together - no doubt are time best treasured.

id

D said...

simah,
I do look forward to that, and am trying hard to prepare for that day.

kak elle,
nothing indeed is permanent. Even the permanent ink pen can be rubbed off! (ish.. off topic!)

anggerik merah,
that's my kampung too... (6 years!), but cant really write a GUiT-like memoir for that. LOL

ulf (i like this name..sounds like my daughter's name - is it?),
welcome and thank you for making yourself heard! I'd say it's ok to be a coward because when the right person comes, you'll be no coward anymore!

kak long syikin,
Alhamdulillah... memang bersyukur.

ajzie,
betul... InsyaAllah kita akan berjumpa lagi.

idham,
yes, he always made me feel beautiful in all sense, when I never am. thank you for your beautiful words.

ileena said...

salams aunty D,
alamak comel nya your love story!;):).
oh about my uk trip..
i shall be there from 16th of jan till 4th of feb.
will be going to london then glasgow then manchester then london again.
yes2 i would love to come over to visit you aunty D,pls let me know the details..okie?
love.

mad redo1 said...

Dear D, we share the same year of marriage but while Linda and I just celebrated our 11th year together, He has called your beloved D to be with Him.

Thank you for beautifully arranged words that made me realised that despite the abundance of love that I feel for those who are close to me, His is much closer and we just have to give the most that we can...


p/s I am sorry but I kept reading Mr D as McD... must be the glutton in me... hehehe...

D said...

ileena,
hope to see you then, insyaAllah...

mad redo1,
funny, we never really celebrated our anniversaries - i never made a big deal about it; never really mark the date as significant. Told you, with us, things are very immaterial. Events may not necessarily be marked by dates, and that was how we went on with our relationship. Give Linda a big hug after this!

Yes, I believe Merapuman also commented the same thing... McD!! Suka hati korang la..

U.Lee said...

Hello D, your beautiful love story is really heartwarming and sure gave me a lump in my throat.
First romance, first love is something so special to all of us, both emotionally and physically, that it touches our lives and enriches them forever.
And we never forget those who made us blush.
Mr D brought you true happiness and love, in leaving, he left his eternal love for you in your four beautiful kids, when they kiss and hug you, Mr D is in them, with them, with you.
My very best regards to you and your children, D. Lee.

D said...

u.lee,
yes... he is still very much with us here. thank you for reminding me because i sometimes forget.

CheYahChomel said...

Salam Kak D,

I wish my future husband will be loving me till death do us part. He is not romantic kind of guy but i know that he cares for me.

My doa for u that u will be strong for u n the kids.

Salam from KL

Earthmom said...

Aawww.. what a sweet love story. (I wish I could write mushy stories like this.) You were both fortunate to have each other, D. He was a wonderful husband to you and a great dad to your kids. Keep these memories alive in your heart!(And in your blog too so we can read them :)).

cikdinz said...

old memori jgn dilupakan. ingatlah sampai bila-bila ye kak D....

All The Cars In The World said...

What a sweet story..