Last week was a week of torment, with problems with plumbing and heating, making all the realities of life sink in. I realized that the main thing that would be a problem as a single parent for me would have to be bearing the task of bringing up the kids. I am everything to them, and I know that I cannot be everything. So how do I manage?
Bringing up the children is not only about providing them with food, clothes, shelter and education, but also providing them with the emotional stability as well. For a person who is far from the most patient and wonderful woman in the world, there certainly is a lot on my plate.
Twin H had asked me not more than an hour ago, Mom, when is your 'Iddah going to be over?
I looked at him in the eye and asked, where do you want to go?
He gave me his sheepish grin, and said, I'm bored staying home.
Told him that it has only been 41 days and there were still many more days to go...
Having said all that, I decided that this weekend, we’d release ourselves from the build-up stress in us (or in me, to be exact). Of course, physically, we are now confined to our house, especially in the bleakness of English winter. But emotionally and spiritually, we are able to escape to a world of make believe – where the limit is our imagination.
We started our weekend by sleeping in the now-spacious living room (I’ve asked the landlord to remove the two sofas) – all sprawled over the floor, on layers of duvet, cuddling each other tight. Oh, of course we were not spared the battle of who gets to sleep next to Mama! I seriously don't know what it is about my underarms that they like...
Then, they all played silly by entrapping themselves under my telekung (praying hijjab), right after our fardhu prayers. I played along to their games of crazy cards, train travel and snapping sharks, though my oversized body did come in the way in most situations. We waltzed and twirled, dancing ourselves crazy in our pretend ballroom, till we were dead dizzy.
To feed our growling tummies, we made some cheese and butter rolls on Saturday morning, to be enjoyed on our train trip to Lindin or Odinburgh. It’s surprising how much the children can eat on cold and gloomy days, as they savoured over the wild snacks we prepared together. Not forgetting, my orange cake baked early Sunday morning, which was salvaged in less than 3 hours!
In complying to the kids’ needs and tantrums, I simply had to sacrifice everything else – no form-filling, file-updating, blog-writing (not until now) or book-reading. Well, I did get a few hours of reading, of course! The reviews will hopefully come tomorrow.
I recall the late Mr D once saying, The kids will never cope without you (translated: if you died). And, to an extent, I think he was right. Despite the snarls of a female lion, the kids never seem to get enough of me. The funny thing is, even though they often drive me up the wall, I somehow think I need them too...