Happenings...

My other half is now resting in the hospital with a tube in his arm. He's now on drips. First, he had a blood transfusion of 2 pints. Then, he had an endoscopic procedure, where they put in a camera to look at his stomach, and see what the problem is. They found that his oesophagus (food pipe) is somewhat damaged. Hence, they have taken a sample to have it tested. They'll probably run more tests on Monday.

Meanwhile, we are living our lives just like any other day. The main difference is that we are praying extra hard that Mr D gets better. The children know that their dad is unwell, because he has been in pain for so long. Today I'm going over to S's house to catch up with everything, and to introduce her family to mine. Ever since I told the children about her, they've been excited and thrilled about it. It's time to meet the Ss..

Cookie's still in a piece!

Oh, dear... I hate publicity and I'm beginning to sense that I've just done that - to announce such a thing on my blog, instead of telling some close friends personally. Thank you everyone for the sincere wishes and du'as. I've received numerous emails from close friends and old friends but I haven't yet replied them.

Let me tell you what has been happening. On Monday, we set an appointment with the doctor, thus we went in on Tuesday. That was when I flung the test. The doctor was about to brush us off with details I'm not bothering to furnish here, when I kept on insisting that Mr D be sent for further investigation. Thank God she listened to me, as she saw the tears in my eyes which later managed to escape - somehow. Mr D was surprised to see the tears streaming down my cheeks. As soon as we stepped out the room, he asked me, "You cried?"

I just smiled back. You see, I've been putting up this fort for so long, and since the very beginning (of his illness), I've always shown him the tough side of me. I have never cried in front of him. Mrs D is one tough cookie, eh!!

So, anyway, the doctor sent Mr D for a blood test (again!!!). Only this time, it was marked urgent and she booked us another appointment with her the following day - Wednesday. That night, I had someone bang on the door at about half past nine. It was a man from the health centre and he wanted our phone number so that a doctor could get to us immediately, to inform us regarding the blood test results. Don't ask me why he couldn't just tell us whatever it was himself. He was just the messenger! So, after a while, we received a phone call saying that we need to see our doctor the following morning.

The next morning, we went to the doctors again. The results showed that Mr D has very low haemoglobin - 7.6. He's anaemic. Oh, there were other figures too, but the most prominent ones were his haemoglobin and INR : 1.5. Sorry, I guess these are too detailed, only to be understood by those in the medical line. The doctor began to panic. She immediately directed us to the hospital for further treatment.

However, we couldn't go to the hospital that day. We were already dead tired and we hadn't made arrangements for the children yet. Therefore, we decided to go to the hospital the following day - Thursday (today). It was a good thing we went when we went.

I met my step cousin's daughter there - S! Boy, was I surprised and elated to discover that she's a doctor at the hospital! She's been here in the UK for 2 years but only moved into this city 2 months ago. Suddenly, the world appeared much brighter. The clouds were gone. I met her at the very moment we were heading towards the individual room we were allocated (to be attended by a doctor). Hence, it was the perfect timing. She persuaded her colleague who was about to step in, to switch patients. And he agreed!! Praise the Almighty!

After some screams, squeals, hugs and quick updates of our families, we immediately got down to business - Mr D's health. Tonight Mr D is in the hospital, with 3 units of blood tranfused into him. According to him, he's beginning to get more colour now. He will probably stay in the hospital for a while - for them to run tests on him, yet again. The main aim, though, is to find the cause of the DVT/ gastritist / anaemia. This time, nonetheless, I'm more hopeful. At least I have S to help me request for the right treatments and tests. At least now I have a distant family member close by.

The cookie

A friend once told me that I was a "tough cookie" when I expressed my doubts over completing a certain task (what exactly, I don't remember!). In fact, I think people around me often have that similar perception about me. Well, perhaps I'm just not the type to mope around fussing about the difficulties of life. I'm not a strong person, no siree, but I know that one has to be strong (or pretend to be strong) when faced with the trials of life.

However, at this point, this tough cookie is almost crumbling into pieces...

Yet I try to mask my fears and concerns as I am certain that the Almighty is always close to us.

It's Mr D. His health is deteriorating. It's like watching a plant wither to its roots. He's lost the kilogrammes he regained after losing them a few months ago. He's pale - his hands, his face, and even his inner eyes... He can't eat, he can't sleep at night. He stays awake reciting the magical words of the Holy Quran when all's amiss. The doctor? I'm almost giving up on them but we're giving it another shot tomorrow.

Earlier today we went to a Chinese Herbal Practitioner. A session of acupuncture costs £30, and a week's supply of the herbal concoction £35. We only took the herbs.

What's wrong with Mr D this time, I hear people asking? So far, we've got the DVT/PE under control, InsyaAllah. It's just that he has developed some sort of heartburn/gastritist/ulcer, probably side effects of some earlier medication he took. When we went to the GP for advice a fortnight ago, she prescribed a certain type of medication to soothe the pain, but cancelled another item which had reverse effects on his DVT. It never worked. Instead, his condition is worsening.

I am neither writing to complain nor to seek sympathy. I hate doing just that. I am writing as a means of expressing myself. As a way of preserving this crumbling cookie. No, I don't think I am going to crumble. It just feels like it.

To people who know me, please don't panic... I am still sane and rationale, and still able to take things one at a time. Okay, sometimes two steps at a time. I will persevere, God-willing.

But I'd appreciate some prayers for Mr D's good health. That's all I want. To see him smile his cheery smile to us and not be in pain any more... To sleep when it's time to and maybe even be strong enough to fast during this special month.

Allah's testing us, I know. So I'm not letting the cookie crumble.

A man's life

17th June is Father's Day in the UK. With ideas and help from the children, I baked a rainbow cake for my man and made some chicken curry rolls. When everyone was ready, we paraded into the living room and surprised the emotional dad.

A father is a man who holds a very important role in the family. Children need parents, not just to be providers of food and shelter. More importantly, parents have the responsibility to provide guidance, love and companion. This role cannot be accomplished by only one parent ; neither only a mom nor only a dad. The responsibility has to be shared by both: each of the opposite sex.

A father offers masculinity and portrays this through his leadership in the house. He ensures order and discipline, whilst creating a harmonious atmosphere. He becomes the idol and hero to the children.

My hero is my own Abah - the person I owe my life to. He struggled to bring up the four of us, especially after the loss of our mother. How does one cope without his other half yet with memories of her all ahead? He has shaped me into who I am today and taught me values that are priceless. Abah, I can't thank you more than words can ever express. You are always in my prayers and thoughts...

Today I am married to the most wonderful man in the world. No one would have ever compromised the way he has or accepted me the way I am. He has been amazing for tolerating with me. Most incredibly, he has helped me bring up the children with care and love. When I delivered my twin boys, he would rush home after office to bathe the newly borns and help me manage them. With Princess, he was the one who accompanied her, to witness the doctor carry out the blood transfusion. He was in the labour room when I delivered Princess and Little D - not missing a single thing the doctor or nurse did!

Thank you my darling Mr D, for being a great husband to me and a superb father to the children. I'm not good with words but I found this, which was written by William Byrd.

To my man on Father's Day,
On whom my life depends,
My children's cheerful champion:
You are where yearning ends.
My paramour and harlequin,
All I want, and all I can
Not want and be OK.

Be warned: this is not a blog about cooking per se!

I'm delighted. MrD has been adventurous in the kitchen. Last Thursday, he tried his hands on pizza. It was yummy but the kids didn't have enough. Naturally, on Friday we had MORE pizza. My princess took orders and we had different toppings. MrD even had stuffed crust!

While all this took place, I had to take a very supportive role - not too domineering, not too detached. I was there to lend a helping hand (ie: lay the ingredients on the table correctly measured) and played dumb at any other administrative role. The result was super-excellent! The last time I tried my hand at pizza-making was many years ago. Somehow, it was always much easier to call up Pizza Hut or Dominos whenever there was the temptation to have any!


The excitement of preparing fresh and wonderful pizza certainly gave quite an impact on MrD. At the carboot sale yesterday, he picked 3 recipe books: Thai, Sushi and Microwave Cooking. Thai food is definitely MrD's favourite! We have made numerous trips to Thailand (Haatyai, Phuket and the borders) and he made sure we explored all the recommended Halal restaurants around. The after effect was expected - I had to try fixing almost-similar dishes, if not identical!!


I think he picked the book on Sushi after the Japanese dinner mamasarah and mynn prepared. Hmm... I will have to think of some tactics to make sure he tries his hands on those!


According to MrD, he purchased the Microwave Cooking book simply because it was only 5p. I have no trust in microwave cooking because I don't think food can be transformed into anything traditional cooking does. My conventional-oven roast chicken is much more sexy-looking and mouth-watering than the microwave roast! However, the book boasts beautiful pictures of cakes, roasts, etc. So, maybe today I will try something just to convince myself that it can definitely be done.

At the end of each experiment MrD had in the kitchen, I made sure that we praised him to no end. We even sang out a jingle for him: Pizza Lie... (to the Pizza Hut tune). Okay, some call it tactical but I call it support. I know I can probably do an equally good job at it if I wanted to (perasan!) but it is great when he makes an effort at cooking and has some speciality for the table. For certain, wives and mommies out there will agree with me on this one.

To my darling MrD, we'll never purchase another pizza unless we have to!

ps: Last weekend, MrD bought 3 pizza trays - showing how serious he is with the pizza business!