Wednesday, October 07, 2009

Two years ago

Asyhadu an laa ilaha Ilallaah... wa asyhadu anna Muhammadarrasulullah...



I incessantly whispered this in his left ear while his mother whispered in the right once his breathing pattern changed. They were slow and heavy. In a matter of minutes, he was already gone...



I can play this scene repeatedly in my mind. Or perhaps the scenes of the past few days or weeks. Two years ago, today - 18th Syawal, he returned to our Creator.


I have no regrets but the human in me can't help feeling the lost of a man so close. So with every pain or flashback that I have, I probe for lessons to be learnt. What did he do right that made it easy for him? What have I gained from the experience? What have I done to prepare for death?
Everything here is not ours to claim, but the ownership belongs to the Almighty.
(Apologies for a sombre post!)

11 comments:

Naz said...

Salam D dan anak anak,
My thoughts are with all of you right now. Take good care of each other OK.

Al Fatihah.

n.i. said...

Take care sis

Chiah said...

Your blog has taught me to appreciate my husband more (accept his imperfections and enjoy having him around me and my son, during his off days. As I am often seen to brood over small issues, I tend to be blinded and act like a nagging wife. After becoming a regular reader of ur thots, I wish to extend many thanks as you have slowly started to educate me spiritually and also see that life is exactly pinjaman sahaja.
My prayers are with you that you’d be strong to face everyday challenge. I am sure we (ur silent reader) selalu doakan u dan famili yang terbaik.

silversarina said...

Al Fatihah.

Akak doakan D terus tabah menjalani kehidupan walaupun insan tersayang telah pergi buat selama-lamanya .

Raden Galoh said...

Darling sis..

Don't apologise, you are not doing anything wrong by wrting a sombre entry...

Your thoughts are worth thinking and sharing, I think of the same thing too, realizing that life can end anytime when our time is up...

You had witnessed a blessing on the day he left you and the kids... And you are blessed too...

Al-Fatihah to arwah Haslishah, your hubby and my friend.

xoxohugsxoxo

Ms B said...

D darling,

take care sweet cherry! *wink*

Me thinks it is the weather. Me hopes for sunny days but that seems impossible.

A.Z. Haida said...

Kak D,

*hugs*

Oldstock said...

D,

Wishing for happier days ahead for you and your young ones.

Kak Teh said...

D, i read this several times but couldnt say anything. On 11th syawal - i remembered what you told me. My thoughts are with you and the children.

anggerik merah said...

D,

My thots are with you. You take care dear...

Anonymous said...

I face the same situation, 7 years ago..
where a person tht I care n luv so much, taken away from me....
infront of me.....
without any reason,
without any word nor will...
without any hint...
without any alarm..
And I dont want to believe
My heart saying,
he's on the way
leaving u..
leaving his family..
leaving the world...
but, I dont want to believe it..
didnt even whisper to his ear..
the kalimah of syahadah, like u did...
coz I dont want it to come true...
he has no reason to leave me..to leave his family...

But...who am I...
to Al mighty Allah??
He created and he took away His creation at any time, any place, anyway...with or without reason.

I saw his last breathe... and I am speechless..watched the eyes open...where his spirit flew out, taken by the angel of death...Izrael..

Yes.. I never regret..Allah arrange our fate for good...

at least, I'll survive with the strenght I have.

I am not this strong if he still around..