Eid (Hari Raya) in Coventry
A week prior to Eid, I planned out how ours was going to be - just to keep positive, and away from emotions, sadness and sorrow. For the children's sakes, I want Eid to be symbolic and significant - a celebration ending a month's fasting and appreciating. It is a time to visit other Muslim brothers and sisters, to rejoice the ukhuwwah and silaturrahim. Caution must be taken to ensure that Eid is not the time to make up for the month-long food and drink deprivation. Eating is secondary, whilst building on friendship is more crucial.
Alhamdulillah, we managed to make the best of the Eid. Early in the morning, I started cling-clanging in the kitchen, and fussed over the kids to perform their sunat Eid showers. Then, I dropped the twin boys at the mosque for their Eid prayers (clad in baju melayu minus samping, donning the kopiah instead of the songkok - malu lah, they say), only coming back to pick them up after I took my own shower.
On the first day, we visited four families, and had six families over. It was good having guests over. I love entertaining, though I'm not much of a host. Somehow, when people care to drop by, I value it so much because it actually carries a lot of underlying meaning and significance. So, thank you to kind visitors who came on the first day and the second, and InsyaAllah more during the weekend.
Eid at the cemetery
Mommy, didn't we just go on Sunday? Why are we going to visit Abah again?
Because it's Raya, my dear. It's a special day so we also visit Abah on special days, ok?
We always try to go to the cemetery every week, unless the weather's too horrible: too cold or wet. I strongly feel that the children need to be reminded and to see their daddy's burial ground. Don't get me wrong, regardless of the visits, we read our Fatihah for him all the time, and the Yaasin too (I read at least twice a day). Every time we go, we'd have a 'reporting session' before leaving. Each of us would have a turn to say anything to him, if he were still around. That way, we'd not be bottling our emotions up and also we'd be able to express things deep inside us.
I think I'm the one who often finds it the most difficult to say out what's in my head. And during most visits, I'd have tears streaking my cheeks.
If you heard Little D 'talking' to his daddy, I'm sure you'd be needing a tissue. His remarks and questions are so innocent and heart-wrenching. Even a simple, "I love you" or "We miss you" from one of the four just touches me. When we were leaving recently, Little D was waving and shouting out, "Bye-bye Abah" for a good 15 metres or so.
Writer continues with more pausing and reflecting ... but thinks they are too disturbing to be shared with the public.