Friday, October 03, 2008

Eid anecdotes

Eid (Hari Raya) in Coventry
A week prior to Eid, I planned out how ours was going to be - just to keep positive, and away from emotions, sadness and sorrow. For the children's sakes, I want Eid to be symbolic and significant - a celebration ending a month's fasting and appreciating. It is a time to visit other Muslim brothers and sisters, to rejoice the ukhuwwah and silaturrahim. Caution must be taken to ensure that Eid is not the time to make up for the month-long food and drink deprivation. Eating is secondary, whilst building on friendship is more crucial.
Alhamdulillah, we managed to make the best of the Eid. Early in the morning, I started cling-clanging in the kitchen, and fussed over the kids to perform their sunat Eid showers. Then, I dropped the twin boys at the mosque for their Eid prayers (clad in baju melayu minus samping, donning the kopiah instead of the songkok - malu lah, they say), only coming back to pick them up after I took my own shower.
On the first day, we visited four families, and had six families over. It was good having guests over. I love entertaining, though I'm not much of a host. Somehow, when people care to drop by, I value it so much because it actually carries a lot of underlying meaning and significance. So, thank you to kind visitors who came on the first day and the second, and InsyaAllah more during the weekend.
Eid at the cemetery
Mommy, didn't we just go on Sunday? Why are we going to visit Abah again?
Because it's Raya, my dear. It's a special day so we also visit Abah on special days, ok?
We always try to go to the cemetery every week, unless the weather's too horrible: too cold or wet. I strongly feel that the children need to be reminded and to see their daddy's burial ground. Don't get me wrong, regardless of the visits, we read our Fatihah for him all the time, and the Yaasin too (I read at least twice a day). Every time we go, we'd have a 'reporting session' before leaving. Each of us would have a turn to say anything to him, if he were still around. That way, we'd not be bottling our emotions up and also we'd be able to express things deep inside us.
I think I'm the one who often finds it the most difficult to say out what's in my head. And during most visits, I'd have tears streaking my cheeks.
If you heard Little D 'talking' to his daddy, I'm sure you'd be needing a tissue. His remarks and questions are so innocent and heart-wrenching. Even a simple, "I love you" or "We miss you" from one of the four just touches me. When we were leaving recently, Little D was waving and shouting out, "Bye-bye Abah" for a good 15 metres or so.
Writer continues with more pausing and reflecting ... but thinks they are too disturbing to be shared with the public.

16 comments:

Raden Galoh said...

Dearest D...
eid Mubarak to you. My prayers are always for you to stay strong and brace your day one step at a time. Missing your lovely companion so much.

Hang in there and have faith in Allah. I know you do.

I'm sending you a big tight hugs and two vitual pecks on your cheeks. Muaaahhh...muaaahhh.

Always take care of yourself, y'hear dear?

lil Happy me! said...

I remember the first raya after my arwah sister's death. It was simply unbearable - mak had to change the whole house decor- the couch needs rearranging, photos need to be removed, etc. Visiting her grave was never a casual visit - it had to be accompanied with teary eyes.

But we've moved on- mak still talks to her during her visits to my sis's graveyard. Hey, it's her daughter. But lesser emotional episodes compared to those earlier.

lil Happy me! said...

O yes, I love the new head picture (whatever we call it) - the pictures of the kids by the seaside. Simply them!!! I love kakak's post - mischievious!!! And adik is so adorable in that incredible hulk post - menakutkan!

P.S - restarting my blog again. This time a new adventure. Hopefully, I'll not kill myself in trying to complete it. Well, hang on to your seatbelts everyone, this one is going to be a bumpy ride!

bimmer553 said...

salam dan selamat hari raya dari kami sekeluarga. raya sana sure seronok sebab the kidds tak demand duit raya kan !

rizza said...

Salam Kak D,
Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri...

tersentuh bila baca
"Even a simple, "I love you" or "We miss you" from one of the four just touches me. When we were leaving recently, Little D was waving and shouting out, "Bye-bye Abah" for a good 15 metres or so. "

tiba2 rase nak bergenang air mata..
semoga akak n anak2 akak gembira dan bahagia sentiasa....
cute anak2 akak...

teringat family saya kat msia....

(saya silent's reader blog akak...)

Kak Teh said...

D, those are precious moments. Treasure them.
When my sis in law died of cancer, my grandnephew who was then five, said loudly in his prayers,"Tuhan, kalau jumpa Tok Lang, kirim salam kat dia".

Iza-Zulkifli said...

kak..selamat hari raya. hang in there..it's ok to miss, and it's ok to cry.

i too still talk to my dad whenever visiting his grave.

cikdinz said...

salam aidilfitri kak D.
hope you and family will become more stronger...

Anonymous said...

dear D,

i must say i cried when i read this..

take care as always!

KC

Ydiana said...

Dear D

Your post made me cry early in the morning. I don't know your whole story yet, but enough to feel what you go through...

Stay strong, and take care!

picang said...

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri!

NiaMubs said...

Semoga di kuat kan iman..dan semangat..

take care Kak D!
Selamat Hari Raya.

fromjawitonewcastle said...

Selamat Hari Raya...

Mami Dini said...

Salam D, U r just strong and so strong, Im positively and 100% sure that ur hubby is really proud of u for being such a wonderful wife and a mother to his kids....

And from me my pray for u and family and big tight hugs to u. :)

e-ei said...

Kak D,

hope it's not to late to wish you Eid Mubarak..

May Allah facilitate your affairs..insyaAllah..

Mama said...

salam.

Di,
Ini pertama kali saya tersesat ke dalam blog puan, namun dalam tersesat ini saya khayal membaca sebahagian besar entry dalam blog ini...all i can say is...MasyaAlah, i'm impressed!excellent! especially mengenai peristiwa setahun yang lalu, kisah bagaiman pengalamnan puan menghadapi dugaan semasa pemergian suami puan ke alam baqa'Semoga ALlah cucuri rahmat kepadanya

By the way bagaimana untuk menulis email secara peribadi kepada puan? saya cuba cari emel puan tapi tak jumpa....saya ingin juga nak jadikan puan sebagai my friend's list in my facebook...
please email endoksempo@gmail.com..

semoga Allah mengampuni kita semua dan marahmatgi kehidupoan kita dudunia dan diakhirat-